SSs think their Dad funds *my* life
Boy oh boy.
So I'm hearing third hand from my MIL about how my SSs (17/19) think that their Dad has EVERYTHING, money, a nice house, splashy vacations... and that I'm lucky to share in his wealth! Ha ha hahahahahaha!
These kids dare to think *I* am being supported by their father? The reality is that he barely has a pot to piss in! I saved him from having to sell his current home by buying in a third. I pay my part of the mortgage, my part of the bills, my part of taxes (not to even mention how much tax he's saving now with me and my child as deductions).
Almost ALL his disposable income goes towards them. Going to see them or bringing them here, paying for Disney dad level vacations, outfitting them in all the electronics and driving lessons and other stuff teens want/need, and almost always at his sole expense. His ex works part time, received maintenance and a buttload of government support! It's only now, 10 or so years after his divorce, that he's with me that he's able to even begin to THINK of saving.
I don't want them thinking I'm some gold digger (where's the gold hidden anyway???), but it would be nice for DH to explain that WE have nice things and a nice home because WE WORK OUR BUTTS OFF. I resent being presented in that light.
I just don't even know where to start with this.
Let it go. You won't win this
Let it go. You won't win this one I am sorry to say.
Don't worry, I'm definitely
Don't worry, I'm definitely on the mortgage and have everything else sewn up, I've been divorced myself and I know how to protect myself legally.
Yes, the gravy train is over. DH is by no means destitute, we do just fine, but he likes to give the impression that he has money. Hard to make kids understand the value of it when it's passed out hand over fist, eh???
Personally, I don't see
Personally, I don't see anything wrong in that at all, "DH to explain that WE have nice things and a nice home because WE WORK OUR BUTTS OFF." This is because I do think DHs need to make it clear to their kids from the very beginning that SM is his wife, they are a team, she is to be respected, etc. I don’t think this is about winning anything, and I don’t think kids have to know where every penny comes from. But, it is obvious the kids heard some false information from someone, and I don’t see anything wrong with attempting to clear the matter up. Again, my DH and I ASSUMED everything was going okay and the kids understood much, and then found out years later when it was too late, they didn’t really understand much about our relationship at all. DHs need to be proactive and promote themselves and their wife from day 1. Sometimes I think the reason why BMs are thought of as holy angels and DHs as demons in disguise is because BMs know how to promote themselves and do it. DHs on the other hand simply do nothing.
I agree. These skids are old
I agree. These skids are old enough to know that SM funds the show. I know I have since day one. Without my income and home, Chef would be living in a cardboard box.
This is what we do. DH's job
This is what we do. DH's job gives us a great discount on a lot of things, so we reserve, he pays, I reimburse my part to him.
We have separate accounts and a joint account that's for household bills.
My situation is the opposite.
My situation is the opposite. BM has always told my SD (now 24) that her dad is a loser and that without me, he would have nothing.
DH has always worked very hard and although he hasn't always made tons of money, he's not a loser.
He literally had nothing when he was with BM, as she took every penny he made.
But hey, SD, you think your dad is a loser who has nothing? Good, don't ask him to pay your bills, then.
Your DH should definitely set his kids straight.
I have the same problem.
I have the same problem. Dh's kids know I work hard and they also know I have a fairly senior role (two of them have done work experience at my company) but they still have the impression its his money. Unlike Soccerwifeandmom, they see me paying for stuff but again this doesn't fully register.
I think the problem is that they don't know any other financially independant women so their little brains can't process the facts.
Having said all of that, as they get older and start to widen their work and social interactions they are slowly getting to an understanding that it is possible for women to be as successful (or more) than men.
When sd was about 14 she made
When sd was about 14 she made some whiny remark about money she perceived as being spent on me instead of her. DH shut her right down telling her I had my own money and none of it was any of her business anyway.
Puke gets pissy when she sees
Puke gets pissy when she sees I have gotten something new. She thinks that dh is buying me all this when I'm buying it myself. I don't need dh nor do I ask dh to buy me anything. Dh spends his money on Puke. Not my fault he doesn't have enough money to buy you everything you desire. Ask mommy.