I am so glad to have found a forum where I can talk and be understood! I got married to by dh in 2007. He has a son from a previous relationship. My ss lives with us full-time and visits his bm on a limited basis. SS was raised without rules and no responsibilities. Sadly, he has some of the worst qualities in a human being: lazy, stubborn, vulgar, and disrespectful. He was kicked out of school this week because the principal is tired of seeing him in the office (he gets kicked out of class about 2x a week for disrespecting teachers). He and I have had our share of respect problems and when he can't be respectful, I shut down. I refuse to help out and ignore him. While I put in a valient effort for 4 solid years, trying to be a friend, positive role model and decent sm, I have been staying out of all of this drama because he has made it clear that I have no business getting involved...I'm just the SM afterall! I like to call it self-preservation.

I feel anger and bitterness toward him. I do not yet have children and fear that the stress he is causing me and his dad will result in us never having kids. My dh just wants a happy family, but ours is anything but a happy family. I get tired of the lies from ss and exhausted by the lack of discipline from my dh. Now, my dh is arguing that that if my ss were any other child in the world (than the product of his relationship with the bm) I would be more accepting. I don't think it is fair of him to suggest that I am the problem. I chose to marry him accepting the baggage that came along. Now, because nobody taught his kid manners means that I am supposed to allow him to walk all over me and the rest of the world? I feel like I am in the twilight zone! I just need to know that I am not alone out there and that I am not doing anything wrong! Is it wrong to ignore a rotten punk ss if all you get is disrespect??? I know that I don't pick friends who are disrespectful, why would I open myself up to a disrespectful kid?