SS is disrespectful and takes over
Thank you for this place!
I have a SS whos 14, I've been with his mom for 1 yr, we live together with my 16 year old bio son.
He has ADHD (on medication) and a God complex. They moved in with us, but he acts like everything in the house is his. He doesn't ask questions, he makes statements. Last night he came into the livingroom, picked up my wife's blanket laying on the couch and stated "I need this to sleep." When asked why he said his blanket was too small. He walked past the linen closet with clean blankets. ..
He steals things, mostly food and edible items. I went into my SS room to ferry a lamp, and found candy wrappers in his room that came from my bio son's room.
He does his chores half done then stomps off or passes blame, makes excuses. Especially when called out on his lying.
He's disrespectful to everyone, and is embarrassing in public due to his behaviors. At a football game he was part of the team in he spent the whole time with his hands in his pants because "they were cold", not pockets, in his football pants.
He's not a stupid kid, but he's lazy, he understands how things work mechanically and how to manipulate people, but it doesn't work with me.
Im literally at my wits end. His father is states away and wants nothing to do with him.
Im counting down the days until he's out if the house... any advice?
Welcome to the site!
You need to have a serious talk with your gf about setting rules and boundaries for your sons. The two of you need to be on the same page with this. The fact that her son has ADHD makes no difference, he doesn't get a free pass to act like a dick. If she won't work with you, I seriously suggest you review your future together.
My advice is the same. Your
My advice is the same. Your GF is the problem here, why did she allow him to take that blanket and not demand that he put it back and get one from the closet? Why doesn't she address his "demands" and attempts to take over?
A kid can only be as powerful as their parent allows them to be. And if you think this will stop when he is an adult, you are sadly mistaken.
So I'm not kicking my wife
So I'm not kicking my wife out, we've been living together for 1 yr.
But, I do agree the talk does need to start with her. She knows he's like this, and blames herself for it. She grew up abused and therefore is too lenient. In fact he did spend a month with his uncle this last summer because we needed a break.
I will prepare for discussion, thank you for helping reaffirm im not crazy.
I bought a lock for my DD (Darling Daughter) Room
She had a key and I had key. Problem solved with him going into your sons room. I also put on one the master bedroom which in our house is a no kid zone. Probably won't phase him but it cuts down on the stealing. I also would not go to any of my SD events. Don't confront him anymore about lying he isn't going to change unless his mom comes down hard on him. My opinion she wants you to do so she isn't the bad guy and she can blame you. Everytime he steals something go into his room and get it and take the door off the hinges to his room. When he stops lying and stealing you will put it back on. Your house your rules.
You have a GF problem
She is allowing it and not parenting her son. You have to face that. Unless GF actually starts parenting it's going to be the same old
The behavioral syndrome of
The behavioral syndrome of the month is not an excuse for shitty behavior. So quit tolerating it in your home. Publish the standards of behavior for kids in your home, post it on the refridgerator and inform your GF that if she does not want to step up and raise her son to those standards that she and her son can find their own place to live.
Better yet, do your own teen a favor, end this relationship.