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Spoiled and Entitled

Thirdwheeldad's picture


I'm either just venting or asking for advice, I'm not sure.

I'm married to a wonderful woman with two teenagers. We've been married 6 years. Everything went well until my SS got to high school. He is the star player and gets what ever he wants from his mother. He has two credit cards, a debit card has wrecked 4 cars and drives our cars whatever he feels like when he feels like it.

His spending is had drained all our savings and put us far into credit card debt. Yet, he can do know wrong. Not only that, we basically support the other kids on the team, their coaches and their parents who don't mind taking advantage of us.

They are constantly going to these meaningless ball camps and spending thousands, we are literally buying thousands of dollars of junk and it just goes  in the trash. He doesn't work, it interferes with ball.

He claims he's going to college, but he wants to go to some expensive out if state school and I'm afraid we are going to be stuck paying housing and tuition for him and his friends.

The house is a wreck, he doesn't have to do any chores except once a month take out the trash if he's not busy. 

His dad is long deceased and I've been fully involved since grade school, but it's just getting worse. His mother just want or cant see it. 

He has a variety of teenage girlfriends that are just as entitled.

The only way out that I see is for both my wife and I to move out of state....what can I do?

Mandy45's picture

Gives there teenager a credit card?  I've raised 4 teenagers 2 of my own 2 sk no way in hell would I give them a credit card. We be living on a park bench if we ever did. There is one word you need in your vocabulary that word is NO for her kids and for your wife. Unless your Donald trump with a endless supply of money. I be putting my foot down on this endless spending on things that they dont really need. They may not like it but so be it. It better than living on a park bench. 

Kes's picture

I have to say your wonderful woman is an utterly crap mother in my view, who is completely in denial of the awfulness of her own parenting.  Teens having credit cards is absolutely crazy, as is being allowed to wreck four cars - here in the UK we don't tend to give teens cars, and certainly if they wrecked one, there would not be another to replace it.   If you want to stay married to this woman (I wouldn't in your place), then separate your finances from hers and ensure not a penny of your money goes to supporting this boy.  

tog redux's picture

Why are YOU paying for anything for this kid?! . Separate finances, post haste. It's not your job to give him anything.

Second, what is so wonderful about her? She's willing to spend you guys into bankruptcy rather than set a limit on her entitled prince.  Credit cards? Debit cards? Multiple wrecked cars? And then when he dies in an accident she's going to sue the other driver, right, since it couldn't be HER special boy!

Ugh, how do you even look at her?

Winterglow's picture

It's time you took over. Start by cancelling ALL credit cards. They only get you deeper into debt. Then tell your wife that, as from now on, you will be living within your means. If your SS wants something, he can darn well work and earn money for it. As for going to an expensive out-of-state college ... it's time your wife realized that they way things are going he might not be able to go to college at all. You cant afford it and he hasn't been working to afford it. It's time to stand up and make her face reality. No more Mr Niceguy.

And why the EFF did he get three more cars to write off? The first one should have been the last!

SteppedOut's picture

I can't even imagine what your car insurance costs are. I'm surprised you have not been dropped. 

All of this is lunacy and would make me leave the marriage. She is putting her son's whims above the entire family's security. 

tog redux's picture

Me too. Maybe I don't compartmentalize well, but I certainly would no longer think she was "wonderful".

Financial irresponsibility in a spouse is a total deal breaker for me.

Harry's picture

And you are paying for it.  How to you spell being used.  Stop all the money and credit cards.  And we will see how wonderful she really is.  But be ready to leave her, once the money is cut off.  She that wonderful woman may throw you out 

tog redux's picture

She's not wonderful to her son, either. She's putting him on a fast track to death, bankruptcy or prison. She's totally failed as a parent.

ndc's picture

What is the financial situation in your house?   I'm assuming there are joint finances - who manages them?  Are you both working?  Whoever is managing your finances at the moment isn't doing a good job of it.  Allowing a child to put you into credit card debt is irresponsible and idiotic.  Allowing a child to participate in activities that you cannot afford is irresponsible.  You need to step up and get a tighter rein on the family budget.  I would separate finances immediately if your wife gives you any blowback.  I would let wife know that you are NOT going to be financing junior's expensive out-of-state college experience, or providing his car insurance or a car.  Your wife is enabling her son, and you are enabling your wife.  Stop.

Rags's picture

What could possibly be so wonderful about someone who has facilitated this financial train wreck and failed this miserably as a parent and spouse?


Grow some balls man.  Move on and leave this emotional and financial incest nightmare and live your life.

This will never end with these two.

Merry's picture

Can I assume that SS is a star football player, and that high school football is a big deal where you are? I feel so sorry for those kids. Their lives peak at 18, and then the rest of their lives are reliving "Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen. Because they have nothing else--no real education, no skills. Just the ability to throw or catch or kick or block.

Your wife is ruining her son's life by buying into and feeding his "star" status. He is a teenager who needs to be prepared for the real world where he will not be a star. And she is driving you to bankruptcy. This would be a hill to die on for me.

katrii's picture

What a difficult situation you are in. I imagine you love you wife, so this makes things even harder. 

I have no advice. Im in a similar situation. Just know you arent alone... I hope this gets easier for all of us.