So I am only good enough when they want something! I don't think so.........
Submitted by roseanne/cleaver on Fri, 02/22/2013 - 10:39am

My SD left home at 17 and blamed everyone but herself. I thought we had a great relationship but come to find out for years she had bad mouthed me to people we all knew and I had wondered why people would/could not get close to me. During this time she was getting all who would listen involved and as she and her friends rode by the house they would yell things out the half closed window while me and her 10 year old half sister was outside (did i mention she only moved 5 houses down our road), during this time she got in contact with her BM who she hasn't seen in 8 years and I am no longer mom but SM. So after a few months she came around hinting that her friends mom was so strict and would not let any boys over etc. and talked about her and her BM the way she did and does me and she says she does not know why she treated us the way she did when she left home because she did not have it bad (it was an award winning performance). I almost gave in and asked her to come home but my DH told me if she wants to come home she would have to ask but she never did. But now the only time I see or hear from her is if she wants or needs anything, other wise I am just a means to an end. I want to believe that the relationship I thought we had was real and when she comes over (which is never unless her dad has to ask her to), it is because she loves me and knows I will be there for her as I always have but in my heart I know she is deceiving, manipulative and self serving and is only using me....DH says she don't have anything to do with him unless she wants something as if that makes it OK! because I don't want to feel obligated to be used just because she is DH daughter and needs something.
DH asked me if DD called me because she needs......I tell DH that I wont be used so SD can ask someone else and I see understanding and hurt at the same time because it is his daughter and if he wasn't working he would do what he could for his kids, which leaves me feeling like I am not nice for not doing things when SD ask just because I am SM. In my gut I just can't allow myself to be used anymore. SS did the same things, he told family while he was in college that I wouldn't help him, so they would feel sorry for him and give him money, when all the while I was giving him $200.00 a month. I really don't like being a SP anymore!