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CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Every time SD15 goes to BM's I find myself praying that something will happen and she will just stay there! Sad thing...never that lucky! Prancing around in her butt shorts, suddenly acting all cheery, making disgusted faces at my cooking (only had a few bites and put the rest in the trash), trying to tell DH that "we" need to go to the movies because there is stuff she wants to see, that snooty and annoying voice...and at this very moment her awful singing ringing through the house! Why don't they just go away!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I hate to say it, but it doesn't end at 18, either. I have found myself wishing more and more lately that SD19 would just go away, too. I even have had thoughts of being a real pain in the ass to her so she doesn't come home for breaks, just stays in an apt somewhere near school. Maybe I'm dreaming, but it REALLY is her laziness and her attitude that make me feel she doesn't deserve to live here for free. Thank goodness she goes back to school in 36 days.

I feel your pain. Sad

~ Moon

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh...I don't cook "for" her. I cooked for me and DH, and DH told her to eat some. Sad What can I do at that point? Be a total b***h and say she has to make a sandwich? That would surely cause a huge fight! So I have to deal with DH giving her a helping she won't eat, and what could be my lunch the next day going in the trash!

And the one thing I forgot to include above...DH yelling SD15's name about every 30 minutes trying to get her to come out of her room! She never comes out, so why does he keep trying?

lintini's picture

Go vegan and then both of them will have to fend for themselves!!! Make dad cook since she's such a princess. Luckily I have a kid that might eat my puke if I cooked it since BM doesn't cook but once that stops, I will not cook anything special for him and dad can take up cooking when he's here. My mom never did special cooking for us, I will not be any different. Eat it or leave hungry. And hell yea I would tell her to make a sandwich.

Calypso1977's picture

Thank god my fiancé and I are on the same page with wasting food.

It took me some time to get there, but now if he takes her out somewhere (a rarity) she is either forced to get the kid meal or she eats half and he makes her eat thce rest at her next visit.

Im lucky - she goes home at 7 or 8 on the week days we have her so I just cook for us as usual AFTER she leaves. I know she used to enjoy my cooking but I cant stand to watch her eat anymore, with her table manners uncorrected. Its just not pleasant to see the food we spent good money on, and the food I spent time making be consumed with hands, picked apart, played with, etc. (for any newbies reading this post my SD is 13.)

she disclosed to fiancé at the last visit that she likes Ramen. Ew. You know, that crap we all subsisted on during college? Well lucky me that crap is like a dollar for 6 bricks so that's what she's eating now!!!!!!!!!!!

Sad thing is Mother of the Year must have introduced it to her. I mean, its SO HARD to put a meal on the table when you don't work and have nothing to do but watch soaps and stalk your ex's family on facebook.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Ew, Ramen is SO salty! The few times I made it, I used only half of the seasoning packet. I'll take mac & cheese any day of the week.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I haven't cooked the past 2 days that DH has been gone. A birthday dinner last Friday and that's it. The skids are quite confused. }:)

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Sally, it is nice!!! Lean Cuisine, a bottled water and my "apartment" all to myself in the master bedroom.

With my 4 puppies, of course! Blum 3

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I wish I could get away with not cooking when SD15 is around, but if I don't cook, DH will not. His idea of cooking is picking up fast food on his way home, or ordering pizza. We all know that this will only send the food budget through the roof...and since DH's income currently barely covers his portion of the bills and his and SD15's expenses (actually, he is still in the red, and I cover the rest), guess who ends up paying for all that crap? Yeah...no!

I personally do not care if SD15 eats my cooking or not. If all she is going to do is throw it away, I prefer that she doesn't if all she is going to do is throw it away! There is always sandwich stuff in the house...she can have sandwiches. I have another interview with a gym this week...one closer to home (which I have a better chance at because I'm going in already completed the training I did this weekend, instead of it simply being on my schedule). I've already been thinking about how to feed myself and DH on such limited time and staying withing the budget. Lots of crockpot meals in our future. SD15 usually steers clear of my crockpot meals, because she doesn't like "boiled" meat (fried or broiled is her preference), and I tend to use a bit of the hot stuff when I cook them (I like my cayenne, and DH doesn't mind it). She will probably start to steer clear of my cooking after I start working the second job...LOL.

I've gotten away from buying any kinds of treats...even for DH. DH has this bad habit of telling SD15 she can have "some", and SD15 interprets that to mean that she can have "some" whenever she wants without asking ever again. DH will come home, and the cookies or ice cream I bought him two days prior is then gone! But guarantee you, every meal, SD15 has said she isn't hungry...because she downed all that junk and is now in a "guilt stage" of her eating disorders for the day.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

My SDs are so stupid that I can push a pint of ice cream into the back of the freezer on a lower shelf. They are too lazy to bend over and see it so it goes unnoticed. I need to have my Cookies and Cream tonight! Same goes with the freezer in the garage. Waaaay too lazy to go all the way out there to look for something. I bury everything in the bottom under a big box of lasagna and they never see it.

Duuuuuuh...... Blum 3

Can't -- Just let your hubby order pizza and make sure you start that account for yourself on the side with this new job. Fingers crossed!! Crockpot meals sound like a good plan of action, too, btw!

~ Moon

Calypso1977's picture

its awful, btu you literally have to serve her what her portion should be.

with SD my fiance puts the food on teh plate for her. sad because she's 13, btu if left to her own devices she will heap and waste.

he always tells her after giving her a super tiny portion that if she's still hungry she can have more. and every time she always says shes full after cleaning the plate. somtimes she still has a few bites left.

she's starting to not be as pissy about being limited because deep down she knows we are right.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Problem is, because of the eating issues, DH makes her put all that food on her plate and expects her to eat it! I've tried to tell him, don't make her take more than she will eat. She will then take a few bites...say she is full or that it tastes funny (to her, anything that isn't coated in breading, is deep fried, or contains a butt load of sugar tastes funny)...and DH lets her get away with throwing it away! He goes from "she has to eat!" to "it's okay honey if you are not really hungry" in 2.2 seconds! It's so frustrating! That is why she still has eating issues...because he will not stick to his guns on the subject! If you are going to say you are going to make her eat...make her eat!

Like last night, she tried to only get a piece of chicken...and the small piece was left for her. DH made her take some of the brown rice and vegetables...neither she ate. She didn't even eat the topping on the chicken (kinda weird, too, because it was bacon and cheese...oh wait...there were some veggies melted into that combination too, as it was Monterrey chicken...lol...she apparently despises tomatoes, but will eat pizza and spaghetti until the cows come home...and use a pool of ketchup for her fries).

Calypso1977's picture

i know you know this, but if he cant force her to eat then he and her need to find a medical professional for her who will make her eat.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Yeah...don't you just love how they will leave just enough to not throw the carton away? SD15 will leave like one spoon of ice cream in the container. When I got DH some Girl Scout Cookies...he went to the freezer to get his thin mints (because they are oh so much better that cold...remember from before I discovered my wheat allergy), and there was one...ONE...cookie in the box! The box was only 3 days old! Bad thing is that he will not say anything about it. He just throws the container away (or in this case, ate his one cookie and threw the box away), and go on like it was nothing...though you can see the disappointment on his face because he really wanted his treat! Even a couple of times, she has left him an empty candy bag. DH like Ghirardelli chocolates...the individual squares. I don't know many times he opened the bag he left sitting on the end table at his end of the couch, only to find it empty because SD15 ate them all! That is what happens when you tell her you can have one...she thinks that means one whenever she feels like after that!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I have stopped buying him stuff. Every now and then, he will pick up some chocolate for himself, but he keeps it in the bedroom now. The only treat I can get him that she will stay out of is almonds! He likes the raw, unsalted kind, and she can't stand them (too healthy for her, I guess). So he gets all the almonds he wants...LOL.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

LOL...I can't stand watching SD15 eat anything that requires cutting. It gets so frustrating...you want to grab the fork and knife from her and just cut her food for her! She has been shown many, many times how to cut her food, but she still doesn't do it right, and often flings what she is trying to cut off the side of the plate! Of course, she has basically been fed finger foods her entire life (pizza, chicken nuggets, french fries, sandwiches), and mac & cheese or cereal doesn't require cutting!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Ah, the finger food diet. BioMonster doesn't know how to cook anything from scratch (DH did the cooking when they were together). The only things she puts on the table are instant foods, fast foods, frozen pizza, pre-made hamburgers, boiled hotdogs, and french fries. SS15 said they don't even have eggs because no one cooks them or even throws together a box mix of brownies. If they aren't already made and pre-packaged, BM won't buy them because she can't cook. The skids' tongues about fell out of their mouths the first time they had my brownies from scratch.

Calypso1977's picture

so sad that families have resulted to placing locks on refridgerators. dont these parents know this isnt normal?

honestly, we are not the ones i feel sorry for or worry about. its the children that these un-parented fuckups will someday produce. THAT will be the "zombie apocolypse" not the meth heads!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

It's awful. When I was growing up, we knew better than to eat snacks or food without asking for permission.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

It's because kids these days aren't being given any limits! They aren't being taught to respect other people's things! Free-range parenting gives free reign to anything in the house!

I was never allowed to eat whatever I wanted in the kitchen. I had the approved snacks, and anything else I had to ask...regardless of if I was told before that I could have some at another time. I wanted to watch my parents' TV (yes...the TV in the living room was theirs), I had to ask. And I didn't dare enter my parents' bedroom unless I was specifically told to do so...which was hardly ever! If my parents needed to talk to me, they came out of their room to do it! There was never any of this calling me into their bedroom (like DH does with SD15) to discuss something. If a spanking was to be given, it happened in my room...not theirs. Their room was their space...period!

As for my spaces...they were to be kept neat and tidy, and there was no expectation of privacy...as it was space that I was being allowed to use, but it was still part of the house they paid for! Yeah...this last part may have been a bit much, but that is how it was.

Problem is, too many parents no longer believe in these principles. What is going to happen when these kids go out into the world...when they have to share a dorm room at college or have to have a roommate to meet the bills? I can see a lot of arguments in their future when they have no respect for other's things!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Exactly!! We were allowed ONE can of soda a WEEK. BioMonster drops off the skids with 64oz cups of soda. WTH?! DH drew the line when SS12 and SS15 drank an entire CASE of soda in 2.5 days. He had NO idea they were doing that until I asked him to come into their room and his eyes bugged out. Which also meant DH's soda for the MONTH was gone. He was ticked.

Calypso1977's picture

dont even get me started on privacy.

if you are under 18 and my responsibility? you have ZERO privacy except to take a dump. SD's idiotic parents actually never check her phone. its password protected and its never out of SD's death clutch. her dad would like to but of course SD "wont let him" and her idiotic mother who pays for it has full control and right to say "show me the phone or its being shut off" but of course doesnt, becuase she thinks SD has a right to text privately with her friends. :jawdrop:

i know for a FACT that SD has more than the one twitter and one instagram she's told her parents abotu and "allowed" them to follow. they are both so stupid to think she isnt doing shit online she shouldnt be!!