SDs going on vaca with DH/Day #5 of Disengaging
So DH and SDstb19 and SDstb13 are going on a 3 night mini vacation tomorrow. Today is day #5 of my first time ever disengaging, since SDstb13 pulled crap last Monday. DH has been supportive. I am a little envious that the three of them get to kick back for 4 days when I wish I were going. With DH. And no kids. I offered to stay home, to watch the dogs, and the 4 hour drive to the vaca spot wouldn't be easy for me (bad neck and back). I'm missing DH a little already. It's not fair that he gets the kids to himself when they will probably be on good behavior because they're happy to be on vacation. I only get them around when they are grumpy, i.e at home and having to clean up after themselves or something.
Disengaging day #5 is underway, and although I did this bec of a huge blowup with SDstb13 on Monday, SDstb19 has been averting her eyes and not talking to me. I guess that is the desired effect, I know, but I wonder what/if DH or SDstb13 told her about what happened Monday night when SDstb13 and I argued. Maybe DH told her just to stay out of my way? I was just folding laundry in the hall and SDstb19 comes up the stairs. I politely step to the side as I'm folding, look her way and give a little smile. Don't have to say anything, just being respectful in my own home. She looks away, walks past me to her room.
She never had any social skills anyway. Oh wait, maybe her monthly friend is coming and she's getting bitchy. Hope it ruins your vacation. Or maybe she's TIRED because DH made her clean out the car for the vacation. She's not used to doing anything around here. She had enough water bottles and trash in her car to build a raft complete with a sail on it.
Is it weird that I'm feeling a little bummed when I should be elated that I have the house to myself until Weds night? *sigh*
Shoot! I'd be kicking back
Shoot! I'd be kicking back with a good glass of wine! Would even go to the mall or something, even just to walk around! The thought of being able to do just that without being forced to bring SD15 along, or have to deal with the texts every 5 min from DH asking when I'm coming home because I left SD15 with him and he's already annoyed with her!
If you've been fully
If you've been fully disengaged then they have seen a difference in your attitude although the slower ones may take a few weeks. The little smile doesn't hurt but probably adds to the initial confusion. Mixed signals and all that. No harm done so continue doing as you're doing.
Quality time (it depends on the vacation - camping yes, Disneyland no) is needed by Daddy and his kids so its just part of the price we pay for marrying a person with kids. Use the time to your advantage and quit worrying about what you're missing. Millions of people are leading crappy lives right here in the U.S. so count yourself lucky.
It's sooooooo quiet. I can
It's sooooooo quiet. I can actually breathe more freely this morning! I hear birds chirping and doggies sleeping.......DH just arrived at the shore with the skids. The place they are staying at is 15 blocks from my gma's condo. I'm thinking about a mini vaca for hubby and I in October. Maybe someone can watch SDstb13 and the dogs then. I need to get away for me but then again, I am such a homebody because of my fibromyalgia. I don't travel well, so who am I kidding.
Yes, I have fully disengaged. I've spoken to DH about a few things that need to get done around the house, right in front of the skids, as if they're not there. It's not anything that includes them directly. If they don't clean their rooms, no biggie, we keep the doors shut 24/7. I just sprayed each one with Febreeze though lol. I don't do all of the dishes anymore. I make dinner 1x a week now. I do MY dishes with the help of 4 dogs so they are "spotless" lol, and I clean one "community item" that was used to make dinner, i.e. a saucepan or spatula. I do that in 30 seconds and I exit the area. Back to my suite. My boudoir. My safe haven.
I like my apt in my house lol. I just checked GPS and they are on the beach, just arrived at 10:30am after driving straight there. I miss DH but not those damn skids!!
I am enjoying my day. I
I am enjoying my day.
I can read and do what I want with NO NOISE in this house except for an occasional happy bark from one of my pups. DH called and said its chilly at the shore. It's supposed to rain heavy the next two days. I hope the kids are miserable, esp SDstb19 because all she cares about is "tanning." "Oh, I HAVE to TAAAAN." "I could ONLY tan for 10 minutes today because it got CLOUDY." "Do I TAN or go to the GYMMMMM????"
No one is LOOKING at your fit, tan body because you are annoying and have no personality. You're a narcissist. You are a psycho who needs therapy. Badly.
Maybe you could penny her in,
Maybe you could penny her in, like we used to do in the dorms at college? }:) }:) }:) }:)
Isn't it amazing how much
Isn't it amazing how much they really take you for granted even if they treat you like crap? It must really be an eye opener for them when they have to start doing things for themselves or ask DH to do it.
DH always goes grocery shopping early on the weekend. The skids know this. SDstb19 was saying that "We have to go to Walmart to get a baby face stick for when I TAAAANNNNN." She didn't ask ahead of time, knew they were going to the beach. So Saturday after dinner as I'm leaving the table she starts asking in a really rapid high-pitched voice about getting to Walmart ASAP for her "TAAAANNN." DH looks at her and says," I JUST finished eating. I'm not going RIGHT this second." He looks at her and mocks her like she's nuts, which she is.
This skid will be 19 in a few days and acts 9. So glad DH had her take it down a notch. She's so immature and naive.
Yes, it works the less you care and provides for great entertainment. Sometimes I wish I could pour cold water on her "TAAAAAANNNNN" and wash it right off of SDstb19.