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SD19 visiting this week for one night......Ugh!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

SD19 has been living on campus at a college 45 minutes away. She has her car on campus this year and thankfully has only been home twice. She has a doctor's appointment this Thursday morning near home so DH invited her to stay the night Wednesday.

I can't believe how irked I am already at this! All I can do is picture her laying on the good couch in the living room, half asleep with the TV blasting. That's all she did all summer. Summer 2013 she worked 40+ hours a week and stayed busy, but this past summer she could barely work 3 days a week. She wouldn't even drive to see her boyfriend 45 minutes away because she was too cheap, lazy and depressed.

Now she is coming home to see a doctor about "anxiety." I went through the same crap in college when I got the flu during finals. I saw a doc ON CAMPUS about how I was feeling. They gave me Xanax and all was well. With SD19 this has to be a huge production, full of drama aimed at DH, and she has to fucking come home. I know it is only one night, but she is such a whuss. She has joined a sorority and signed up for classes that are too difficult to take all at one time because her boyfriend is taking them. He can study with her. Not if you're busy with sorority life, Queen of Time Management. I know it's college and this is where kids learn to be adults, but we all know......because it's a skid it is so VERY annoying.

I just don't want her in my house for even one night. DH is taking SD13 to therapy Wednesday evening, so that means its me and Prima Donna. I will stay in my room and wind down. Hopefully she will go to sleep and make good use of some quiet space to catch up on some ZZzz's.

I just wanted to bitch and vent because this is just a prlude to Thanksgiving, which is a prelude to winter break....which is going to be a disaster with this entitled ODD, BPD, narcissistic BITCH. You ask her to exhale and she throws a shit hemorrhage tantrum.

At 19-1/2 years old. DH always blames it on how BM treated her when she was alive. I used to believe it, but I find that SD19 is a defiant, miserable bitch to everyone, including DH and SD13. Can you tell my blood pressure has gone up?

Breathe, Moon....Breathe.......Ok.

~ Moon

Jsmom's picture

Completely understand... their actions have caused our apprehension anytime their name is even mentioned. I just want to get through Christmas and hope my SD18 doesn't make her presence known...

I completely get it. Make plans to be out of the house. I used to do that when she was here. Now I wouldn't do that as I don't trust her around SS16.

Notacelebration's picture

Calm down...they're not worth our health. Think of you, and only you...
I know it's hard. Pretend she's invisible when she's there. Wink

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I think I might have some old Xanax in my medicine cabinet from two years ago. I'm going to go check.......LOL Blum 3

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I pretty much know she's depressed. DH refuses to see it. See my long reply below. She is miserable all of the time.

whatwasithinkin's picture

She alao said the child was taking a heavy course load, had a full time boyfriend, and a sorority and is battling finals. Could she be depressed? Sure she could. But I seem to remember op stating clearly that she was venting as this was a prulude to thanks giving. Ya know isn't it f'd up that we all have experienced having to bite our tongues and swallow our blood must we do that on steptall too?

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Thanks for your replies.....I appreciate all of you. Yes, BM died in early 2013 when SD19 was 17 and in her senior year in HS. I kept telling DH to get her into counseling, even while BM was still alive and deteriorating from cancer. All SD did was go in and talk about becoming a vegetarian. She has control and drama issues. Thank you very much to BM. I suggested it again this past summer because she just seemed miserable. Her boyfriend had a M-F job and she never went to see him because she worked on the weekends. I asked if it would help if she went and just talked to someone. Medusa nearly chewed my head off and spit it out right there in the kitchen. Guess I hit the nail on the head there, huh? DH still insists that both of the girls are healed from BM dying because the counselors have said so. They have each only been to therapy maybe 3x each and *poof* all better! Biggrin Time for a new counselor, I say. One that will bare you down to your core and get to the root of the problem with each of the Skids.

My original post was about college life being too much and SD19 getting in over her head with a science major. She thinks she has the same brains as her boyfriend and she does not. He is very smart and SD19 just got "good" grades in HS without having to try very hard. In our HSs around here, everyone gets a gold star for trying and none of the kids are prepared well enough for college. SD19 has always had anger issues, for the 7 years that I have known her. When is this girlie going to finally learn that everything in life is NOT always going to go your way? Gotta love the entitled generation...... Biggrin

Saffron asked if I was too intolerant of her.....No, I pretty much have disengaged and let her do what she wants when she is home. It's better than the alternative of being told off by a Skid, a mouthy one with no respect for anyone. The only way I could deal with that is to put her right back in her place, but I just don't have the energy for it. Or do I?.....It still makes my blood boil because I don't do well with lazy, which is all I saw last summer, and I am sure I'll see it again during the holidays. DH, SD13 and I ALL walk on eggshells around SD19 because she goes off at the drop of a hat. Her schedule and sleep were messed up all summer because she didn't work that much and laid around the house most days. Now that she is in school, it is taking its toll on her. She actually has to put forth effort now to get desired results.

Sally, we have not heard much from SD19 this semester in the way of grades. Freshman year she was on the Dean's List and called DH all of the time with good test scores, etc. This time around it is ::crickets::. So, yes she is in over her head, studying for a major because her boyfriend said she could make more money that way. :? SD19 doesn't realize how big the silver spoon is in her mouth from BM. She will want for nothing when she is older and will probably be even more entitled.

~ Moon

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I personally dread any school holiday...even if it is only one day. SheSloth is one of the laziest, self-centered, no regard for anyone person I've ever met! Since I work out of my home, the mere thought of her being in the house sends the muscles in my neck and shoulders tensing! BS19 told me last weekend he may have time to come home for Thanksgiving, and I and so praying he does! The presence of my bios tends to help some, as I don't feel so alone in the house...considering DH does nothing to help the situation.

Regardless of what a child goes through, that does not negate a parent's responsibility to parent. Bark and I have a major thing in common...DHs who do not parent! Sure, this girl's mom passed away, but that does not give her the right to treat everyone around her like crap! I've been following Bark's situation for some time, and this girl has no regard for anyone. Could she be depressed? Sure she could!! Is DH doing anything about it? Nope! It isn't Bark's responsibility to do anything about it OR put up with it!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Thanks, Can't. Two things come to mind.....1) I was actually the one who suggested to DH time and time again that OSD go to see a therapist for issues.....BM being terminally ill, stress at school, boy problems, poor self image......( I also said that YSD was definitely going to go talk to a therapist when she said she wanted to be a boy....) and 2) My situation is a lot like Can'ts except that I am a homebody. I don't like to be out of my house because of the pain from FM and also because all of my pups are here. It's my happy place.....except for when SD19 is trolling through, making noises and messes.

I know it's only one night, but much of this vent stems from the upcoming winter break and the five weeks of wonderful when SD19 will be here. Time to get a thick skin and treat her just like I do SD13, but it scares the hell outta me. So much noise and disobedience. Makes me hurt all over.

~ Moon

Jr829's picture

I feel you on that one. SD are a nightmare! Luckily mine is now 20 and I only have to see here rarely! Sorry you have to deal with her, if only for one night. It really sucks that news like that kills an entire week won dread! Rent some good movies and buy some snacks so you don't have to leave your room!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

So I hear car doors slamming out front as I am getting ready for a shower. My dogs are yip-yapping at the window. My phone rings. I should have never answered it. SD19 is in the driveway for two seconds and calls DH to say she didn't bring her key. Why not? She told DH she thought someone would be home. No, SD19, the world doesn't stop tuning and people aren't just sitting around to serve you when your common sense goes out the window.

I ask DH sarcastically where our spare key is. It's on our kitchen island where he left it this afternoon because he forgot HIS key today.

I usually don't cuss and give DH any ammo to throw back at me, but I said, " So now I have to turn the water off, get dressed and go let your stupid kid in because she forgot her fucking housekey." DH thought it was funny. Next time I won't answer the damn phone.

I took away SD13's iPod Touch at 6am this morning after I discovered she had eaten seven little bags of Skittles. I told her Sunday not to touch them because she has braces now. She went and ate them anyway, so I called her out on it. She was giggling and hiding behind DH, who was only humoring her. He never gives her consequences, just verbals like, "Oh....well....you'd better not do that again, ding dong." Almost like a term of endearment. I changed that tune. I told SD13 to get her iPod Touch. DH asked me not to take it to work like I did all of her other stuff over the summer for a time. He gave the iPod Touch back to her tonight because she got an A on a test.

Whatever. Second term starts next week. A new downward spiral begins....... }:)

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Yes, Sally, I am getting to that point, lol. I'm not the dumbass in this equation, oh hell no! I've said before, I am getting past the point of feeling guilty for NOT helping where I should, so letting her sit out front would have been entertainment....I opened the door halfway and she was out at her car getting things. I didn't even see her. I heard her in the hallway last night, but she didn't look into my room or anything. She was home and I didn't have to see her! Later in the evening, when she started talking more, I just put my earplugs in. She has a low, nasaly voice and she should be on allergy meds. She won't take them. So she sounds like a teenage boy....always coughing and hacking when she comes home. Good old college petri dish of germs.....

I camped out in my room and texted with a friend from ST. Good times! Wink
Dirol Dirol

~ Moon