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SD is stalking my DS??

Gracefulsilver's picture

OK, previously I wrote about how SD15 was trying to force interaction with myself and my 2 kids because I disengaged and kept my kids away from her by the kids choice.  I am totally convinved that there are some major psychological issues going on in her head.  Many of you told me to not walk but run away.  I also talked about how SD was sitting outside my house watching my front door and parking apace.  Well, that was finally put to an end because my SO finally put his foot down and stopped her.

A new complication has arose that I worry about now.  My DS15 is in the school marching band with a very good small group of friends.  SD has decided to join the marching band after the end of the footbal season.  SD has been transfered to the same homeroom class as my son because all marching band students are in the same homeroom due to the marching band activities and the teacher being the marching band director.  SD was not interested in joining a single school activity and has refused any involvement in any school events.  SD claims to have social anxiety and PTSD that prevents her from being around a large group of people without extreme anxiety attacks and prevents her from being able to be in an enclosed area with a group of people.

SD has been persistently trying to gain the attention of myself and my 2 children.  She has failed no matter what exteremes she has go to.  SD knows DS is in the marching band and has spent time during school hours trying to locate my children in the high school and failed to gain their attention when she has located them.  SD continues to go around lying to other people at the school, for example she told people that my kids were her sister and brother and that her father and I were already married and the newest one that I am male while her father is female (total switch because I am female and he is male).  SD has gained the reputation of being two-faced and lying.  I feel this is an attept by SD to force interaction between her and my son through manipulation.  I know she does not want to give up her entire weekend every week for 3 months to the activity.  I know she does not have transportation to and from the band activities.I know that BM will cause all sorts of drama over not seeing SD durng those 3 months (BM and her husband do not drive or own a vehicle).  I will not be transportation for SD in any way shape or form, even when I pick up my own son. No one asked me if I was willing to help and assumptions are not something I go along with.

I do not understand what SD is trying to prove.  The only reason I can see her even trying this activity is to force my son to interact with her.  I am so tired of her manipulation of her parents and self-centered goal of being the center of all attention at all times.  I'm very worried about my son being harrassed and stalked right ow.  SD has also been known to accuse boys of "forcing" her to engage in sexual activities if she does not get what she wants from them.  I have instructed my son to ignore her and never be alone with her.  I do fear for my son's saftey and well being at this point.

ESMOD's picture

Are you and your EX back together?  I actually kind of understand how she might want to try to align and be part of your kid's lives if you are with their parent.  But.. the switching of gender thing? that's weird.. I mean.. how on earth is that even possible.

It sounds like she is immature.  But, if you aren't with her father.. I guess your kids will just need to learn to leave her alone if they don't want to interact with her.  I'm assuming there are other kids they don't care for.. she would just be another one.

If you are with the girl's father.. then I can see her trying to join the dots as if they are her siblings.. maybe she has always longed for a sister/brother? 

Gracefulsilver's picture

Well, we are kind of dating right now but no where near where the commitment was.  I'm just enjoying the show and LMAO.  And "No" SD does not want a siter/brother, she has already attempted to lie and interfere with my relationship with my own kids.  It did not owrk and she got mad because I did not "like" her more than my own children.

SteppedOut's picture

This relationship is causing you and your kids WAY TOO MUCH grief. 

Honestly, this is a lot of crap for your son to deal with. Bleh. 

Gracefulsilver's picture

WE ingnore her.  Honestly, even if I was not talking with her father she would still play these games.  How do you htink she made enemies of an entire high school in less than 2 months.  Last year she made enemies with 2 entire high schools.  He just needs to see this is not other people and it's her.  I meant if it's that many people she is doing something to cause it.  He even asks her "what are you doing to cause this?".  She just cries it's not her fault and everyone is just picking on her, or someone else caused it because they don't like her.  Yeah, right, like someone forced her to hang out with gang memebers and forced a knife in her hand for the knife fight with the other girl on the way to school.  He is learning slowly what type of person SD is turning out to be.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

At a certain point, you are going to be the one to blame for what your kids are having to put up with. Not SD, and not your maybe-maybe-not SO.  If you would find the strength to end this farce, then perhaps your SD would lose interest in your kids, or transfer her interest to something else. With the current loosey goosey arrangement, no one is free to move forward. Making a clean break is really best for everyone, and especially for the kids.

Gracefulsilver's picture

She quit already.  LOL.  Less than 2 days later she quits.  Now she will be transfered back to her original homeroom and away from DS.

SteppedOut's picture

Kind of strange the school would even allow a student to sign up for band mid-year. In my experience, most do not allow that unless a student is transferring in mid year and has previous band experience... 

ESMOD's picture

You already brought these people into your life with your relationship with the father.  You apparently are still dating despite a ton of reasons why you should put it to rest.

Do you really think that just changing back homeroom will stop this girl from glomming on to your kids?  The only hope you have of saving them from this circus is if you break it off with her father.  THAT may make her move on since you are no longer her stepmom and your kids aren't her siblings (in her weird mind).

You say you are taking baby steps.. but it seems like the only steps you are taking are BACK INTO a relationship with this guy.  First you were broken up.  THEN.. you were just going to support him.. but not date.  Now.. you are kinda dating.

I mean, it's a free country and you are free to date who you wish.. but if you date HIM.. you know what you are getting a poor partner and a crazy teen girl.  The possibilities that something serious will happen to or with your kids is not small.

Gracefulsilver's picture

I guess your right.  I am moving back towards a relationship with him...hhmmm.  Need to retimk some things. I guess I am being too supportive and forgiving to both of them.  But to my credit when asked to help her I have refused several times despite the guilty feelings.  I do not know why I always feel so guilty for saying no to people.

Rags's picture

Only you can fix this and the only fix is to move on leaving this failed man and parent and his toxic prior relationship crotch nugget in your past.  As a parent you owe this to your own child who this Skid is victimizing.

Quit bitching and start fixing.