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SD got her stuff today

stepper47's picture

Submitted by stepper47 on Wed, 04/03/2019 - 9:44pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

Not all of it though, her room is still a disaster with clothes scattered everywhere. Is that to have a reason to come back?   Or she doesn't need what we provide. She did take her IKEA pictures off the walls and her string lights to decorate her new master bedroom at BMs.  I don't know what else because I made myself busy in the yard when I heard she was coming.  DH said he has tried to contact her the last 3 days with no response til she called to say she was getting her stuff.  He is torn up.  I am wondering if the next step will be BM asking for more child support.   I follow Stepmom Magazine on Facebook and ironically today a post popped up about parental alienation, and how it is unnatural for children to reject a bio parent unless they are being influenced by the other parent. DH said he thinks SD is burning our bridge and giving it the middle finger.  I don't know how to help this situation

MrsStepMom's picture

Submitted by MrsStepMom on Thu, 04/04/2019 - 4:38am

It doesn't really sound like you can do anything. The positive is that almost every child eventually see's the truth and realizes a shit parent for what they are. The bad, it takes time and usually doesn't happen until they are adults. I believe husband should still reach out regularly, acknowledge bdays and such so she knows he hasn't gone anywhere. This will have a lot of impact on her feelings toward him later in life as she won't feel he just left her or gave up. Of course he didn't leave her but we have to assume BM is spewing some real shit.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 04/04/2019 - 4:49am

Well, that’s not entirely accurate. Alienated kids do mostly figure it out, but not for a while and it’s hard for them to rebuild a relationship with the rejected parent. 

My SS came back, but he is still enmeshed with BM and his relationship with DH is superficial at best. 

This is really hard, but you can survive it. DH needs to take care of himself, and keep the lines open with SD. 

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 04/04/2019 - 9:17am

Seeing the truth is not always a positive. Realizing a shit parent for what they are is a lot different than being strong enough to do anything about it, even as an adult.

It's almost more sad when they realize it, but still worship the alienated parent, and reject and disrespect the other.

 

 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 04/04/2019 - 9:54am

Yeah, I'm pretty certain my SS knows the truth, but just doesn't have the psychological strength to deal with it.  He hides behind self-deception instead. 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 04/04/2019 - 10:17am

should be a 2 way street... kid should know this by the time they are 12 years old.    You can't keep slapping your built-in ATM in the face and expect the ATM to continue to deliver.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 04/04/2019 - 11:17am

Your DH has no balls.  Why would he allow his daughter and BM to violate the CO and most importantly why would he allow her to take anything from his home under the current circumstances?

DH needs to immediately nail BM with an action for contempt with the court.   SD may just extricate her head from her ass if mommy is smacked around by the Judge for this bullshit.

I am baffled by the tolerance for this shit that your DH is showing. He is enabling this by his inaction.

IMHO of course.