SD and SM drama SO says "Enough!"

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My SO is practically living at my home because of SD15. SD lives with my SO (I am not living with SO ..yet). We are engaged and I am disengaged from SD. SD has made his home so difficult for him that he dreads going home when SD is there. He has stated to me that he "made a mistake" having SD move in with him. He also tells me he wants to send SD back to live with BM after the New Year. He says he is tired of the disrespect, the foul hygine, the lack of sleep, and the constant selfishness of SD. We have tried to help SD but BM contradicts everything we try to do for SD, including desperately needed psychiatric help. SD just laughs and tells him to quit his job so he can be home with SD because his job is making SD feel neglected. SD claims that his inability to sleep due to her and her cat could be fixed easily by him quiting his job. We have blocked all contact with BM due to harrassment but SD continuously calls BM and puts the phome on speaker so that BM can harrass him. I personally have sucessfully disengaged from SD. I will never do anything for SD ever again after all the false accusations she makes against myself and my DS15 and DD18. We just roll our eyes and ingnore her bull. I have been asked one numerous occassions to help SD and I said "No, she can do it herself". I'm tired fo SD's clasiming she can't help it. it's not her fault, and it's not me it's_____ that did it when we know SD is lying. I just don't know if my SO will follow through with sending SD back to living with BM. He has already told SD while she was on the phone with BM to stop or "go back to your mother's house". I don't know what to believe anymore.

I'm a little confused on why

I'm a little confused on why your SO can't parent his daughter?

I don't get it either. No

I don't get it either. No matter the punishment or the consequences the BM allows SD to do as she pleases as long as she gets money and SD refuses to listen in any way shape or form. It actually is pretty sad to watch him try to parent her and stop because BM gets in the way. It's getting ridiculous with BM. SO got meds for SD to help with her psychological issues. BM started telling SD not to take them because she didn't need that. SD stops taking the meds and refuses to take any others. It is a contant battle i his home because SD is disrespectful and has to be practically forced to do anything to develop a better future. SD is failing 2 classes at school and in danger of failing other classes. I just don't know what to think or believe in this situation.

You know this will never end

Your SO likes playing game with BM and DD. It will never end

You know this will never end

Your SO likes playing game with BM and DD. It will never end

She is 15, a minor and not

She is 15, a minor and not in control. At least she won't be if DH grows some balls and parents. When he walks in the door he takes her phone and does not return it until SD leaves for school or DH leaves the house. When he returns, the phone is taken.

Lather, rinse repeat.

Now for the $1Mil question. Why would you want to partner with a guy like this who is far from a man, a completely failed parent, and has to run to his GF's home because he is scared shitless of a child and lets her run him out of his home?

I keep asking him why he is

I keep asking him why he is running scared of her. I tell him he is the parent and to take control. Otherwise I leave it up to him. I do believe this is why SS23 with a different BM does not have any contact with him.

I'm failing to see how SD

I'm failing to see how SD would be that much worse off if she was with BM than with your SO. Neither parents her. Neither is getting her the help she needs. She's failing multiple classes while living with her father. Unless your SO is prepared to parent this girl, and to stand up to SD and BM and do the right thing rather than throw up his hands and give up because BM is undermining him, there's no reason not to send her back.

FWIW, I would not marry him or move in with him until she is an adult and there is no chance of her living with him.

I too do not understand why

I too do not understand why he just doesn't send her back to BM. I think he's finally getting to that point while I just sit back and watch it unfold as I expected. I have already have drawn a hard boundary that I will never live with him or marry him as long as his daughter is still in his home. I also do expect him to wait until my son graduates from high school 1 year after SD is scheduled to graduate before we move in together or get married. I just don't get how come it had to get this bad. It seemed to take a turn for the worse when SD15 found out we were planning on getting married after the kids moved out. When things first started my SO sat her down and laid down the law that it was his relationship with me and she is not going to stop it with her petty drama. I amd my kids had accepted and treated her like family until it wasn't good enough for her. Now I and my kids just plain have nothing to do with her.

Geez the way you talk about

Geez the way you talk about SD15 is like an unruly puppy that DH did nothing to train and now can't figure out what to do and wants it sent back to the pound, but is afraid of being reprimanded, so instead is allowing the dog to grow feral and live in it's own p*ss and sh*t while he just finds a new place to live.

Have your DH do SD a favor and let CPS take her from BOTH unfit parents and put her in the system. It appears neither of them are mentally or emotionally capable of being fit parents to this child.

Actually that's a very good

Actually that's a very good analogy only add a mean streak to it. Yes, my SO was not very involved in SD's life. BM didn't want him to know anything so he only saw his daughter 4 days a month, and he laid down and let BM push him out as much as she did. He wanted to have her live with him so bad but truly did not know what he was getting into. Maybe my SO is emotionally incapable of raising SD but he is trying. Now he's just so overwhelmed it seems like he is giving up. I have disengaged for my own sanity and the safety of my 2 kids. SD is constantly flinging accusations and has a very creul way of lying about everything. I refuse to help SD anymore because of the was she has treated me and my children. After all I'm not going to jeopardize my children for this little witch.