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this is rozylady . had a feeling

rozylady2's picture

hi this is rozylady. i messed up so deleted my account and started anew.
i had a feeling something was going so i ended up snooping abit and found this out between ss16 and mil.i cant believe she tells me one thing but then turns around ang do this. all she did was feed into his issues!he threatened me. she calls me a baby and that he is the adult.tells him to ignore me. instead of saying oh she probably stressing like you or dont fight k you both owe that to your father like i told her but she said this. be nice to her too! it goes as follows

ss
Hi i love you
mil
I LOVE YOU TOO
WHATS UP?
ss
Noting much just bored
mil
WHEN YOU COMING TO FIX THE YARD, DON'T YOU WANT SOME MONEY?
ss
Yep i know i just need to git over that
mil
HOW come you didn't send an email to grandfather sat. for his birthday , no one remembered, it hurt his feelings
ss
Im sry
mil
no you need to tell him, his email is xxxx
ss
Ok
mil
lets try to do something friday, ok?
ss
Ok sounds good with me
mil
good
ss
So what do you have in mind
mil
not sure
ss
Ok
mil
you think about it
ss
Ok
My back is hurting
mil
sorry go soak in the tub for while
ss
I need to finish my class. Work
mil
well go get it done, love you

mil
don't fight with sm, do you hear me? i told you to be adult and ignore her, she is the baby and don't give her power over you by letting her get you upset

mil
i am also mad at you for always forgetting the garbage on thursday, set your phone as an alarm to remind you, also no more dishes in your room!!!!!!! it is not that hard to take them to the kitchen. if i was there i'd kick your butt
you are old enough to take care of these 2 little things. you make your dad very upset, he works so hard in the heat and so many hours to take care of you, show him some respect, please.
if he wants to keep your door open and let out all the ac, well HE PAYS FOR IT!!!!!!
stop being mean to your dad hes your only dad and you need to help him and take care of him.
i love you so much so be good, ok?
ss
Ok i have no dishes in my room and carrie can suck my big tow cuss i have bit takeing care of it ok
mil
please just ignore her, please, ok??
ss
I am but if she keep up her comp im going to give her a bit of my mind
mil
no please don't do that, that just gives her power over you. ignore her and YOU have the power over HER
ss
I know I'm just tired of dealing with her mistakes and me how to fix them
mil
you don't have to fix anything, just ignore her, please
ss
If I don't I get my ass chewed out or I end up getting wet socks
mil
you can tell me about that later
ss
Ok wall im done with my class work

Well I'm done with my class work now
mil
good, did you do a good job of it?
ss
Yes i got all of it done
mil
hows your girlfriend making out in florida?
ss
Good her grandparents bought her a laptop
Im going to go to sleep ok i love you good night
mil
goodnight love you tooooo

rozylady2's picture

i doubt ill be seen as correct but i wrote her telling her what i know. it goes like this.

mom! how could you!!!! i just saw the convo you and ss16 had last night.you telling him to ignore me !!!! called me the baby. do you say those to him about his father? what makes me so different then joe besides blood? you didn't even bother to talk to him perhaps something bothering me like him too.maybe she is stressing like you? did you? no you didnt.
you sit there on the phone telling me he got issues and such but then right around tell him that! is this what your telling sd15 too? those words made things so so much worse!!!!!
how can i know you say do this and then trust you to not say something to the kids of exact opposite.you never once thought wait? what have the kids possibly done? you know cause and effect?. they have major issues but yet you passed judgement on me based on their words.
he even threatened me to you! i was right to fear him! saying he would let me have it.i told you im scared to be alone with him. if i am careful i can handle being alone for a short time but thats it. i never know if i step wrong he would explode on me!
have you noticed he blames me for everything. really mom? everything?
you tell him don't be mean to his father but you never said not one hint to not be mean to me! you know his issues. couldn't you just say to him no leave it alone. instead you tell him to ignore it gives her power over you! you said yourself you don't live here but yet you tell him that.you barely stood up for me. jsut a dont fight ok. why couldn't you just say fighting isnt the answer. you need to learn to control yourself. i told the same to sm.you both owe it to your father to try.
the wet socks thing i don't know what thats about? is it the hall? because the ac was leaking. or is it the laundry room being wet from the pool and swim trucks. shouldn't you have said meh you get over it. you`ll live. its just a sock!
him saying i can suck his big toe is a metaphor his big c**K. i dont know if you realize that!
i`m not perfect neither are you and H. please stop alienating me in the kids eyes!!!

rozylady2's picture

no its to early. she isnt a early bird.thank you for saying that. i know i snooped was wrong but after what happened, i needed to make sure nothing was going to blind side me. this sure did. she jsut that afternoon told me to stop authority and that . he got issues and that i need to be super nice to everyone and do what it takes. then she was pushing to get me to interact with ss16 even tho she flat out said he hates women!she was talking like she was atleast trying to help. what she said here to ss16 wasnt right. it was two faced and very damaging.. no wonder the skids act the way they do towards me and how big their ego and confidence has gotten!about to call to see if i can get us in to a counsler mainly marrige.

rozylady2's picture

i do love her. she is the only mother figure i have now. RIP mom. so yes i am surprised because she always told me she never spoke ill of me and always tried to get them to chill out.this indeed has floored me.

rozylady2's picture

she has before but that was a years ago so i am not so sure now. or even i can trust what she says

rozylady2's picture

she replied back to me. making excuses but under the cover i was only trying to help.
sm i was not trying to alienate you, i was trying to calm him down. when he gets mad he needs to leave the conversation before he does something he'll regret. he and i have long conversations, i tell him repeatedly to respect you and treat you as his step mother, that you are only trying to help him. i know when hes mad he needs to calm down before he can act sanely. i have told them many times you are not the enemy, but because of all their past problems they take it all out on you, and sometimes you let them get to you.here lately everyone has been very stressed out. he and i have long conversations about how badly he treats you. that if he wants to be treated as an adult he needs to act like one. my intent was not against you reguardless what you think. i am trying to get them to give you a chance and the language i use is to get them to understand me and what i want them to do. i am sorry you did not understand what i was doing but i am trying to get them to treat you as they should a mother.
my reply:
thing is mom they use you calling me a baby and ignore me literally. saying "she is the baby and don't give her power over you by letting her get you upset". he means that as literally!him telling you of all people in his life "she can suck my big tow cuss i have bit takeing care of it ok" wasn't right. then threatens me "I am but if she keep up her comp im going to give her a bit of my mind"then you telling him "no please don't do that, that just gives her power over you. ignore her and YOU have the power over HER" makes him god in this house. you understand?

twopines's picture

She can really slop the sugar while stabbing you in the back! I bet she even had a straight face while she replied to you. It's all in writing, so how she can say you "misunderstood" it is beyond me. Now you know where you stand with her, and can act accordingly.

rozylady2's picture

yes but again i have my method of trying to control him and his behavior. its very hard when you don't live with them but in my way i am trying to get them to mind you and respect you so i try in some ways you may not understand. i do want peace and love for you all and i pray over it, trying to help, sorry if you don't understand or approve of my methods

me: by telling him im a baby! by telling him he got power over me!all you did was validate his thinking. his hatred of me .you hurt me big time. this isnt no misunderstanding on my part. i know what i read .it wasn't right!you never should have said those things to him in that way!

rozylady2's picture

hes a kid and you talk in language he understands hes not an adult as you are and should be able to understand the language i use with him is different than what i would use with an adult

mom he is freaking 16!!!! old enough for driving ! he isnt five!
its not ok to Say one thing then turn around say something else like you have to a passive aggressive woman hater(your words) young adult. that harmful and very damaging. your words in the convo says im the enemy to him!!! no counselor nor psychiatrist will ever do that!!! he is a teenager,a sophmore.he knows his rights and wrongs. he also knows he is in HIGH SCHOOL.old enough for SEX, old enough to have his third or fourth GF (you dont know for sure),old enough for DRIVERS LICENSE, old enough to make choices about his FUTURE. old enough to know not to steal and lie. old to know you get busted by the cops you will go to jail because your now classified as an ADULT, old enough to be mowing lawns everywhere for total strangers most of the time.OLD ENOUGH TO GET A JOB THAT PAYS ON A REGULAR BASIS..
according to you just in the convo between you two is ok your in charge and she is a baby so treat her like a child ,be nice to your father only and my personal fav she is powerless so do whatever you want.its ok call her names and threaten her.thats his view of your words.doesn't add up,saying we have long convos about he should respect you then turn say those things.
i know where i stand now..i know now why you never called to invite me anywhere. i know why you never call to talk about the kids or anything at all except to find H or the kids. FIL telling H to keep it out of the hands of "ex wives" in an email.i know why you never called to get the other side of all the problems in this house. you feel im taking your family away and powerless.you never trusted me. I cant trust you anymore. believe me its hurts me a great deal but after this there isnt anything else to do but to never call you again.dont worry im not pycho (a ex gf of H). i`ll be civil to you because thats me SM a good person trying the best that she can.