Ridiculous!
I'm happy to report I haven't felt the need to vent on this forum in about a month...But I'm back! SD is now 14, still living with her friend (since Christmas). I'm not complaining about that believe me. So anyways, I'm throwing my daughter a birthday party at the end of the month. I rented out a hall, we have a DJ coming, it's going to be a great party. She's an awesome kid and she deserves it. Obviously her sister (SD14) has to be invited, I understand that and wouldn't try to exclude her. HOWEVER she was told from day one that her boyfriend is not invited. She is allowed to bring her friend that she lives with, but that is it. My daughter told me last night that apparently SD invited not only her boyfriend but his 2 little sisters. Are you kidding me???? So my daughter told her that I said she is not allowed to invite anyone except her friend. She goes, "Yeah ok whatever." Hmmm doesn't sound too reassuring. I feel like telling DH that if she dares to show up with her boyfriend I will personally throw them both out but I know it will turn into a huge fight as usual. We cannot discuss SD without getting into a fight so I choose not to. So I guess if she crosses the line and brings him I will take matters into my own hands. It's just really frustrating.
Good idea! I'm sure a teenage
Good idea! I'm sure a teenage boy wouldn't take me as a threat but my cousin who is a big guy will be there. It's funny because my daughter asked me if I could get a "guy" for the door who will only let in people with invitations....maybe not such a bad idea! LOL.
Yeah it sounds like I might
Yeah it sounds like I might have to do that. SD14 strikes again!!!
I REALLY like the "bouncer"
I REALLY like the "bouncer" idea! Get someone you trust, a big, burly brother, cousin, uncle, friend...the scarier looking the better. If he has a friend he can bring to help man the door, even better. Give them a check list of those who are invited and if their name doesn't show up on the list, then he can send his "helper" to get you and ask, to make it look official like you aren't singling SD14 out...or you can make it clear you are singling her out...your choice. When she shows up with the boyfriend, your "bouncer" can tell her she is allowed in, but her "guest" must leave as he is not on the list, and this is an "invite only" party. If a fit is thrown, your bouncers should escort them from the door, and the authorities called if things get too ugly. All should happen outside as to not disrupt your DD's party!
The nice thing about the hall
The nice thing about the hall is you have to go up a flight of stairs to get to it. So that way the bouncer could stand at the bottom of the stairs, not like anyone could sneak by. It just really sucks that I have to spend money on a bouncer because SD can't listen. I'm hoping I can have one of my friends do it for next to nothing because I am spending so much money on this party.
I'm sure if they are a good
I'm sure if they are a good friend, and you explain the situation, they may even do it for free just so you can have some piece of mind! I know if my son got asked to do such a job to make sure a kid's party went the way it should, and it was a family friend, he would volunteer his time, and talk one of his football buddies in to helping for free.
It might be more effective to
It might be more effective to have him stand at the TOP of the stairs. Just think how that could go...
HAHA!!
HAHA!!
It's a great idea, I have a
It's a great idea, I have a friend who is a bouncer at a bar and he is HUGE. I'm going to see if he will help me out.
I wish it was that simple! SD
I wish it was that simple! SD was already informed that she is not to invite anyone to this party. SD feels like she can do whatever she wants. I really regret inviting her. I don't want to spend the entire party running around chasing her friends out. I want to enjoy my daughter's birthday.
Oh, if it were only that
Oh, if it were only that easy! When you have a manipulative teenager who's bio-parents refuse to do anything to parent, they are going to do whatever the hell they want to regardless of the boundaries you set! From what I've read about OP's SD, she can flat out tell her not to come, and she would come anyway with the boyfriend just to cause a scene. I know mine would! And we get NO backup from the bio-parents when it comes to putting the brakes on such behavior...just excuses and arguments. So, unfortunately, the OP needs to plan for a scene, and a way to handle it without causing her DD grief! It is the child's birthday...she should be allowed to enjoy without her half-sister (as I think I remember that DH is the father of DD) trying to do what she can to ruin it!
Exactly! It is such a damn
Exactly! It is such a damn shame. I really feel like SD will show up with her boyfriend just to be an idiot. I don't want to cause a scene at my daughter's party. I would rather have that handled downstairs where nobody will see it.
We had to hire a security
We had to hire a security guard for my SO's mother's funeral to eject psycho ex who threatened to appear. She said SO's kids weren't coming if she wasn't allowed. SO's siblings were ready to rumble if she showed up, so the security guard softened the scene.
It makes me sick that he has
It makes me sick that he has no backbone when it comes to his kids. He feels so guilty and she knows it, so she plays him like a violin. The girl is 14, living with her friend, smoking weed and broadcasting that fact on Facebook, having sex and broadcasting that fact as well on Facebook. She is doing horribly in school, well what can you expect when she stays up til 2AM smoking weed??? But when I bring any of that up to DH, I am the evil monster and I say mean things because I "hate her and that's not nice". Are you serious? I am so glad she is out of my house because all we did was fight about her constantly. I told him I don't want to discuss her anymore because we don't see eye to eye and I don't support his lack of parenting. He literally picks her up once a week, takes her to get something to eat and chit chats with her. There is zero parenting going on. She doesn't even speak to her mother anymore because she is tired of "getting yelled at". Unbelievable! I just can't wait to see what happens when they go back to court in July. I am sure SD's mom is documenting everything and DH is gonna look like a fool. I've told him that but he doesn't think so. OK!
After giving it alot of
After giving it alot of thought, I have decided not to have someone at the door. It is ridiculous that I would have to PAY someone to guard the door because SD14 is an idiot. I am spending way too much money on this party and I will be damned if I have to spend a dime on "security". I text her since she never comes around and I told her that she is welcome to come to the party and bring her ONE friend that she lives with but other than that she is not to invite ANYONE. If she does then they will be kicked out along with her. She said she knows and isn't even bringing her one friend she lives with. Ok we will see. Let me just tell you if she violates that rule, I will gladly embarrass the living crap out of her.
Maybe she will be so
Maybe she will be so disgusted that she won't show up at all! One can hope, right?
It still simply amazes me that your DH allows the girl to live at a friend's house! It amazes me even more that the friend's parents allow it! I hope BM make sure to bring it all up in court and make your DH look like bad parent of the century! I almost wish I had the link to your SD's Facebook page so I could show DH if he doesn't stick to this change that he is slowly making into becoming a parent...so that the next time SD15 does something stupid (because she will), I can show him and say, "See this kid? She is about ____'s age, and if you don't bring down the hammer now, this will be your daughter!"