Put a bullseye on her and send her into the field...what are you thinking BM???
SD13 was invited to a Bar Mitzvah next month. She has almost no friends and is pretty much at the bottom rung of the social ladder at school.
BM is the laziest person I've ever met. She's packed on the pounds the last two years or so and is about 350 pounds but thinks dieting is "not worth being unhappy" so she refuses. She gets winded walking from room to room. She wears shorts or spandex all the time, rarely showers and her long hair hangs in an oily mess around her face because she can't be bothered to do anything with it. She had pain in her legs and other health issues. She is banned from our pool if the kids come over on a hot day because despite all this, she insists on wearing a bikini and it's revolting. She has sleep apnea and refused to get a CPAP machine because "it makes you forgot how to breathe" until she had her THIRD car accident in about three months. (the kids weren't in the car for any of them)
Dad and I talk to SD about dresses for this party as the dress code is "club dress" and she doesn't own a dress at the moment to my knowledge much less a club dress. She says BM is going to give her one of her old dresses. The kid is skinny as a rail and unless the dress was from the 80's, it would never fit. It's not a money issue, it's BM being too lazy to go shopping as BF offered to pay for a nice dress. So, we go to the mall and stop in Charlotte Russe to look at a few ideas.
The next day, BM races her off to the store and buys her a dress. If it was an appropriate dress, that would be fine, but the thing is too big and too old for her. It hangs on her like a sack. Even SS15 thinks she looks ridiculous in it and said it's not what the girls wear. We decide to wait until next time she's here to talk to her about it.
She arrives yesterday and I broach the subject of the dress. She says she and BM came up with a solution, it fits better if she wears it backward!
This poor child has little to no self esteem, few friends and her mother thinks it's ok to send her off to this party in a ridiculous dress made more ridiculous by wearing it backwards! I asked her if she really wants to make herself a target instead of people thinking she looks nice. She parroted BM by saying "I don't like to dress up, I like to be comfortable" which is what BM says when anyone tries to suggest she shape herself up. SD has long hair that just hangs around her face too because BM can't be bothered with her having even just bangs to help give it some shape and gave the kid hell when we took her for a haircut and she wanted bangs. She made the kid grow them out.
BM has commented on how teenage girls can be cruel, but she purposely plans on sending her own daughter out to become the ridicule of the party? What kind of parent does this???
SD and her Dad had a talk again today and he reiterated he would be happy to pay for a nice dress so she can look beautiful when she goes to this party and he plans on having another talk with BM about her not helping this young girl get herself together for life. Somehow I think it will fall on deaf ears. She is with us the day of the party and I'm hoping her father holds his ground that it's HIS time so we can get her ready. If I have to, I'll buy a few dresses a few days before and return what she doesn't use.