Opinions please!
My BF's 14 year old daughter has a photo of herself in a rather small two piece bikini as her Facebook profile photo. I think it's very inappropriate given her age. I told my BF to tell her to change it. He didn't have quite the same reaction as I did but he did email her and told her to change it. She claimed that she wasn't going to be able to do it for another 10 days because she wasn't going to have internet access. I didn't buy that for a second and sure enough a few days later I saw that she had been on Facebook and hadn't changed the photo. She is clearly looking for attention from her Facebook friends which is why that photo when up in the first place, but it doesn't make it okay. I mentioned this to my BF but he barely said a word about it.
Am I over-reacting to this or not???
No, you are not
No, you are not over-reacting. I seemed to be the only one who was concerned my SD14 was posting inappropriate sexual text on FB - her BM didn't seem to care, and my DH had a lukewarm response like your BF, however he did contact her and tell her to remove it whenever I prompted him. I finally got sick of being the watchdog, and deactivated my FB account. Let them get on with it - I wash my hands of it all, and suggest you do too.
I also came across a conversation between my SD14 and a stranger on another networking site, called formspring, which was pornographic in nature and could be accessed simply by googling her name - ie, didn't have to be a member or friend like on FB to view it. She does not seem to realise it will be on the internet for ever as this latter one does not have an option for members to delete their own stuff, seemingly. Prospective employers will be looking up her name in a few years and giving her a wide berth because of this crap - and it will be all her own fault and that of her bio parents.
Her BM doesn't know about it.
Her BM doesn't know about it. They are not friends on FB. SD could only have a FB page under the condition that she friend at least one of three adults: her mother, her father, or me. We were FB friends at one point but then she got upset about something and kicked me off her friends list. She's only friends with her father now, but he isn't as vigilant about things as I was. I did tell him that as long as it was a profile picture that anyone could see it and if that's the kind of photo of his 14 year old he wanted everyone to see. He agreed it was wrong and told me he would talk to her about it. Well, it's still there. She still hasn't changed it.
Mind you, this is the same 14 year old who is now on "boyfriend" number 3 (this is just within the last 4 months), who has admitted to "making out" with them, and doesn't think that oral sex is sex.
It's times like these I feel as though I am talking to a brick wall. Why does it seem like I'm the only one that thinks like a parent when she's not even mine?
Um, you shouldn't be telling
Um, you shouldn't be telling your BF to tell his daughter what to do. She has a mother and a father, and neither are you. Her FB profile pic doesn't affect you in any way. If you don't want to cause issues in YOUR relationship, let your BF parent his kids.
OP, is the kid is going to
OP, is the kid is going to turn out to be a whore, so be it. You told your DH, and if he doesn't care, then leave it. Obviously he doesn't care that she is a liar, or that is on FB in a skimpy outfit. However, if she comes to your home and you don't like the way she is dressed, don't take her anywhere with you. His lax standards don't have to be yours.
Okay. I'm washing my hands of
Okay. I'm washing my hands of this. I'll let him do whatever he wants with her.
*shrug*