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No surprise...failing classes...surprise is how it is being handled!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

DH shares with me yesterday that HHB out right failed 3 classes. Now, he what he went on to share with me after that totally disgusts me!!

You all know that while living with us, HHB often managed to pull grades out her butt because teachers at the school here would let her turn in work for full credit up through the last day of the grade period...regardless of how late it was (it could be a 4 week late paper, and she would get full credit on it). Well, it seems her new school is even worse!!!

The end of the grading period was last Friday...2/13. That means that grades should have posted on Monday, 2/16 so that report cards could be mailed out (that is the way it works here). I don't know what kind of "boo-hooing" HHB did with her teachers, but the teachers are allowing her to turn in work THIS week (AFTER grades have posted) that is shown as missing for the last grading period for full credit...and if she does so, they will change her grade! WTH?!?!?!?! In the mean time, she still gets to practice with the color guard, and she is expected to be in the competition this Saturday (day after tomorrow)!

Yes, I could care less if HHB fails or passes her classes these days. What totally infuriates me is that the school is allowing this kind of crap! If they are doing it for HHB, they are doing it for others! And we think customer service is bad now! I'm sure we can all say we have that co-worker (or several co-workers) right now who don't do their part or is always causing problems with failing to meet deadlines. How much worse is this going to be in the future with these kids basically being told in grade school that it doesn't matter when they turn in their work...they will get full credit and their grades can be changed?!

Seriously...just fail the kid and be done with it! Let her face her consequences of not doing her work (i.e., NO COLOR GUARD)! She isn't a special needs kid...she is just freakin' lazy!!

Oh, and supposedly, BM has said that HHB cannot hang out with her girlfriend because obviously the girlfriend is too much of a distraction! That explains the social media posts tagging HHB this week from the girlfriend being all depressed. Strange thing is...I know how HHB gets if she is not allowed to see someone she is supposedly "in love" with or a relationship falls apart...and that is NOT the HHB on social media right now! Oh now...last couple of days, social media has been all a flutter with HHB talking about staying up until all hours talking to a guy friend who is stuck at work. Distraction? Maybe BM should take the phone away if she want's HHB's grades to improve! Hello! The girl is up all night on the phone, and texts all freakin' day in school during class! This is the SAME reason she had grade issues at our house!

Sorry this is long...but the subject of HHB sneaking out while she lived with us finally came up last night. DH says, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure HHB was sneaking out when she was living at our house. There were nights I swore I heard her, but I just didn't feel like dealing with the crap and waking you up at all hours of the morning!" I just looked at him...."Really?!" I told him about the barking dog, finding the utility room door unlocked, etc. I then reminded him that he is the one who tried to lobby for HHB to take over BS20's room when he left for college (which I successfully rejected), which would have made it even easier for her to sneak out! Really?! Funny how DH now admits to the evil monster HHB was the entire time she lived at our house, but while she was here, he defended her to the ends of the earth, even if it meant me being miserable! Let's hope DH remembers all that he is telling me now when BM has her fill of the girl come summer, and is trying to get him to take her again. Not just no....but HELL NO!!! That girl is NOT moving back here! I don't care if she has no where to go! I know DH was has been too much of a Disney Dad...but truly...BM is to blame the most for what HHB has become, as she raised that girl more of the time...never forcing her to spend any time with DH until she got into the teen years and started getting into trouble...coming up with every reason she could to cancel visits ("she has a party to go to"..."she doesn't feel well"..."she doesn't really want to go, and I don't want to upset her"). BM has created a "mini-me", and she can have her!

Calypso1977's picture

im envisioning my SD14 being totally out of control like this within 1-2 years max. she does what she wants now for the most part, but once she is of an age to have friends who drive, etc. she'll be out all hours of the day and night just being, in BM's words, "a typical teenager!".

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Exactly!! "Oh...well...I'll do my work whenever I want...IF I feel like it!" Of course, it is parents that made it this way! In my day, you got bad grades...you failed...your parents yelled at YOU for it. Today, a child makes bad grades, the parents yell at the teachers for it! Not all parents...but there are a good number of them out there that way. As a result, the teachers give the student about a billion chances to make a passing grade just so the parents don't come yell at them!

BS20 went through a year where he didn't do his work...4th grade. I made him do his homework, I grounded him. The kid would do his work and not turn it in...why? Only thing I could guess was that it had something to do with my ex, as this is the year things got really sketchy with him and he started disappearing. Did I let this excuse BS20's behavior? Oh heck no! I still made him do his work...I still grounded him when he didn't turn it in. Every grading period, I would figure out what the minimum grade he would have to make for the remaining grading periods to pass the grade. We finally got the beginning of the last grading period, and there was no way he could pass. The teacher asked me what I thought he should do...told him flat out, "Fail him! I've already taken away everything from him...TV, hanging out with friends, video games, etc. Nothing is getting through to him! He does the work, but he won't give it to you. So, I say fail him! His friends will move on without him, and maybe he will think about it then!" THAT got his attention! He learned...you don't put in the work, you stay in the exact same place! It was a life lesson! Kid is now in college moving FORWARD, because he doesn't want to get stuck in a rut his whole life...he wants to go somewhere! Would he be where he is today if I yelled at the teacher and bullied him into passing him on? Doubtful!

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

The changing grades thing pisses me off too! SSociopath was allowed to turn in a major research project for English AFTER grades had been posted. His final grade online was a 29, but when the report card came, the quarter grade was a 46. Still horrible, but this means he still has a chance of squeaking by for the year. Thanks a lot, school! Thanks for continuing to teach the kid that the rules will always be bent for him because he and Mommy raise a stink. Thanks for teaching him that he can always get by with zero effort.

Calypso1977's picture

not only is this a great disservice to students along with undermining parental rights/authority, its grossly unfair to the kids that work hard and are responsible and turn their stuff in on time, putting school FIRST where it should be!

BlueSkies08's picture

Ugh, I am going through the same type of thing. FSD is the laziest 17 year old I know. DF and I are constantly getting updates from the teacher as FSD's work/school that she is leaving her work assignment to go lay down because she is "stressed" and "tired", but yet the teacher allows her to go lay down and rest. It's like, well no shit you are tired, you are up half the damn night on Facebook and that damn Snapchat...And as for her being "stressed"...I want to shout at her, welcome to life! I'm stressed all the damn time and you don't see me saying to my boss that I have to go lay down...Get the f**k outta here. DF finally had enough of her shit and talked with her last night...it did not go well (he took her cell phone away from her). But I was proud of him because he held his ground. However, today he says to me "I know what I did was right, but I feel bad..." I had hang up on him...what the hell is it with men and their daughters?!?!?? I know for a fact if FSD was a boy instead, he wouldn't be feeling bad. FSD is bringing this on herself and I told DF that. She needs to deal with the consequence of having her phone taken away.

Aniki's picture

Seems the "No Child Left Behind" has become an excuse to pass kids who fail and NOT a reason to get them the help they need to LEARN. Very sad.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Unfortunate, we will soon see the fruits of "No Child Left Behind" in the society! More young adults expecting entitlements...expecting their government and everyone else to take care of them instead of working for what they have! The whole time, those few who were raised to to earn their keep will work their fingers to the bone for the growing number of entitled brats who will continue to take from them. Sad...so very sad!

Jsmom's picture

SD18 managed to graduate with a 1.2 GPA. She skipped all the time and flunked most classes. But, our school has a 99% graduation rate and they were not going to let that girl screw up their stats.

My amazement is in a college that will take her. She never even heard back from two schools, but the most pathetic school in the state has her now. Her mom is paying 12K a semester to keep her busy. My shock is with the school. She is partying hard and out of our lives, but my fear is that mom has made her take out loans and when she doesn't graduate and get a decent job, she will show up here.

Rags's picture

We obtained guardianship of my SIL when she was 17 and Oregon reduced the requirements for HS graduation as their genius way of saving money. SIL was in the first class that could graduate with the reduced credit level and the first day of her Jr. year her counselor pulled her in to tell her all she needed was an additional 1cr class during her Jr year and she could graduate at the end of her Jr. year if my ILs signed the permission form. She had obtained extra credits for working as a counselor at a latch key kid low income welfare daycare and for a People to People summer program in Europe.

If there was anyone that needed the extra year of maturity it was my SIL. She was basically functionally illiterate, struggled to read and write though she was very advanced in math. My ILs signed the form with their usual default to idiocy and the perspective "we raise our kids to be on their own at 18. It is her choice."

To try to give her a leg up we offered to let her join our family and we would pay for her college costs, provider a vehicle for her to use, and she could be a full member of our household. To pay for it she would do our lawn care, do basic housekeeping, and watch the kid in the afternoons after school. We were paying $400/mo in after school care at the time and another $150/mo in lawn care costs. If we could eliminate those costs we could put that money toward college tuition.

SIL was with us for a year. She did little to none of the things that were agreed to and battled us tooth and nail about being an "adult" who could skip class if she wanted to. Not on our college tuition dime she couldn't. My wife would not let her turn in semiliterate crap for work either. For that year we had her rewriting and revising her assignments repeatedly until they were worthy of college level work. Her grades were decent, Bs and Cs, but after she turned 18 and finished her first year of college she moved back to OR to spawn out of wedlock with her BF. She did go back to school about a year later. Her GPA and transfer credits got her into a local university. She went to school for 7 more years, took out ~$80K in loans and never graduated. She and her now DH (the BF she spawned with out of wedlock) are so screwed. They are constantly on the verge of foreclosure in their home which was primarily purchased with supplemental school loans for the down payment and on the verge of bankruptcy over her insane school loans.

If possible your SD-18 needs to be reigned in before she ruins her life with a futile attempt at college that gets her buried in debt. Not every kid has any business in college. My SIL sure didn't. Not because she was incapable of doing the work but because she lacked the intellectual maturity to truly comprehend the value of the opportunity.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I wish!!! Too many lazy, entitled people here in the US...and their numbers seem to be growing. HHB is quickly turning in to one of those people. I seriously hate to see her as an adult! As it is, she already bases her relationships on what people can offer her...this is obvious.

This "No Child Left Behind" crap has ruined our school systems, in my opinion. In my days, okay...some teachers would give you up to a week to turn in a late assignment, but you did NOT get full credit! You lost 10 pts a day off of your grade...so if your paper would have been an 82, a day late would make it a 72, 2 days late would make it a 62, etc. You didn't turn it in within a week, it would not be accepted at all. And that was the NICE teachers! There were plenty of teachers who still had the rule that if the paper wasn't on their desk by the end of the day it was due, they would not accept it at all.

And these multiple test retakes? Oh heck no! I know a bunch of folks who would have loved the opportunity to retake a test! At most, if you failed a test, the NICE teachers may have given you 10-20 pts on your test if you did corrections and turned those in (i.e., looked up the information in the book to correct your missed answers and turn them in). Of course, those corrections had to be turned in the very next school day after your test was returned to you, or you didn't get the credit for corrections. You had a one chance shot to improve your test grade.

Yeah...HHB would be totally screwed if things still went the way they did while I was in school!

legmel's picture

I am flabbergasted that a school would permit such tardy behaviour? Good luck to HHB - if she couldn't turn in her work on time then, she is certainly not going to be able to do it now. Sit back and watch that little failure unfold, it is going to filled with drama. Keep us posted.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Like I said...I was totally disgusted to find this out! HHB will probably get just enough turned in to get her grade to passing. She is known to do that, because she would not be able to live with herself without color guard! She just has to have her stage, or she doesn't feel any worth!