as the name says sheetshow
I was so excited when I got up christmas morning. Bf got me very 'thoughful nice gifts. I usually only get the same from him on birthdays and christmas. cheap box of chocolates and a cheap dove kit. ( didnt realize to later i would be buying my own gifts )
Since of been with the BF my friends and family have always went
out of there way to make sure I have a nice Christmas.They always
buy me thoughful gifts. Im very lucky to have them in my life.
Every year I make sure BF gets the same xmas I do. I go out of my
way to make sure he gets nice thoughful gifts because I want his
christmas to be as good as mine.
It never fails every year he doesnt pay bills and over spends on his two ungrateful daughters. way to go bf seems like he sets it '
up so i have no choice but to provide christmas for his two brats.
an example: he doesnt pay the hydro and we get a disconnection notice. I live here to so I have to pay it, we have no groceries cause he spent that on his kids so i buy them because i have to eat to, he didnt pay the internet and phone, I like to use them to so I pay it, he has no gas money so I pay that to to get to work ,, of course , he would never ask me for help because he knows I will just cover his ass because I need these things to. what pisses me off is that I already provided more then my half of everything. So long story short merry christmas step brats love step mom. Its almost like i have no way to get out of paying for their to expensive christmas gifts.
The two step brats are teens now. The oldest run off with her older druggie boyfriend and is now living on the street with him. Shes now 4 months pregnant. im sure, in 5 months she will be back here with baby in arms. The other sd only comes here to stuff her face because daddy loads the cupboards with no ending junk food and fullfills any request. She ignores us and stays in the bedroom. Im getting the impression she wants to move in here and hes talking about if she does and all hes gonna buy her. Im like, oh really not pay bills and expect me to play disneyland step mom to your kids who wouldnt even take the time to piss on me if i were onfire.
Long story short. I need an exit plan fast. im sure hed move to a bigger place to house 2 step daughters and a baby. I need to not stir the shit pot until I get an exit plan in place. He has me financially in the hole. can anyone help me on how to keep the peace and save money to get the hell out of his sheet show. I mean, do i not pay the bills and get kicked out, do i sit in a house with no hydro and no lights, etc ?... wish there was a way I could get around not paying his share because im flat broke leaving me no money to save to get out of this sheet show he put me in ,,, thanks ,,, any advice is greatly appreciated .. I need to learn how to play his game better then him :(..
Good luck in the new year!!
Stop paying for stuff for his kids. Save what you can. Do yo have family or friends you can stay with, for a short term.
What do you do for a living? could you take a job where housing is provided, such as a live in nanny? Even if temporary, to get on your feet. Some private schools near me have staff housing, you would have to work some weekends, but it can get you back on your feet.
Where I live the Ys rent rooms by the weeks, you would only have to save up for a week or so, before you have your salavry to pay for the room, and from then, you can save for a place of your own. If not, consider a shelter, start checking them out.
You have accomplished the
You have accomplished the most important thing in all of this. You recognize it for what it is. A mistake that is repeated stops being a mistake and becomes a choice. Your SO's chosen repeated "mistakes" are intended to give him control over you while he gets to spoil his Princess prior relationship breeding mistakes.
I would immediately stop paying for utilities and food for him and his children. Eat away from the home and pay nothing for two months. They usually will not disconnect power and water for at least 2-3 months of non payment. Put 100% of your income aside for that period and start slowly moving your personal belongings to a storage facility. When the utilities are disconnected just don't go home from work that day and move into a temporary place until you can rent a place of your own.
No money for his gas tank, no food for he or his children, etc......
"Sorry my dear I don't have the money to pay the bills. You are going to have to do it this month."
Then just walk when the balance sheet is right.
Dont fight with him, just do not participate at all. Not financiallyn not physically and not emotionally.
Dont keep making the same decisions repeatedly. Leave him to his crappy choices.
Good luck, happy new year and take care of you.
Good points
I would add that in the US (I note OP is in Canada), many utilities are not allowed to disconnect in the winter. Whichever ones wont, if not in your name, do not pay. If in your name, where I live they can require a deposit to reconnect, or your connection at a new place
You are correct STaround, in
You are correct STaround, in the Province of New Brunswick the policy is: “your power will not be disconnected between November and the end of April, provided that you are in legitimate economic need, you have contacted your utility to discuss your account, and that you continue to make mutually-agreed-upon payments on your outstanding balance.”
The rules in my Province do not state that a person needs to show that you are in legitimate economic need, they just don’t shut it down in the cold months.
I know in Alberta they can restrict your power for non payment, your lights willl work but things that draw more power like your electric oven will not work.
Hopefully the electricity and gas are in her BF’s name so he can be stuck with paying off that bill in th end.
Are you renting and do you
Are you renting and do you have a lease? Can you afford a place on your own? If you are paying all the bills anyway, and you are only renting now (I assume) - then why can't you move out to a smaller place with lower rent and utilities? Do you have a cell phone? If so, don't pay for a house phone, too (I assume you are saying that you have a landline since its a mutual bill).
I think you can probably move out now, given the extras you are already paying for in terms of his kids and his bills - you have enough to support yourself.
Might not be the most popular
Might not be the most popular opinion, but I'd put myself into debt now and get out from what I could and then come up with a plan to pay off the debt later when I'm on my own. I'd legitimately max out my credit cards, move into a new place, take the utilities out of my name, and then do some debt reconfiguring later (or work 2 jobs) to pay it off.
If he has you in a spot where you can't get ahead financially, then time it where everything is as paid up at possible and just indebt yourself for the future, if you have the means.
Also consider
Talking to your landlord (assuming you are leasing). It's possible they may let you out of your lease. I did that once. I was living with a boyfriend and things went south. I contacted the woman who owned the house and explained. She let me cut the lease short. I moved out with one month left, paid my share, and told the BF I had cut it short and he had a month to find himself a new place.
It was worth the one month of overlapping rent to be done.
You must understand your DH
Will never change. He will go without food, electric to buy his kids love. He there ATM. And you are part of that sickness bu covering his overspending. Thomas to make plants to move out and leave that circus. Save, pland, and move at the right time. Cut off all money to DH.
Thank you for all your
Thank you for all your awesome advice .. so glad i found this place....
I have been cutting back on
I have been cutting back on giving him money cc is half paid off. Of course, cc was charged up to pay for vechile repairs. He never paid me one cent toward the 2000 it cost on my cc... not once offered anything
I wonder, how long im going to be saying no to him before he throws it in my face im not paying my share. Oh he hints sd kids need this and that dropping hints. I just ignore him. Im not resonsible to pay for school trios, Nike cloths, or to keep filling his gas tank for he can play taxi to skids. Sd has lost her baby due to drugs. She dropped out of school...17.5 yrs old..will not look for a job. She is with a homeless guy and leaves here at 9 in the morning. Lives on the street with him.going to food banks... soup kitchens... any free handout place they can beg from been seen sitting on benches with a sign with her loser bf begging for money. Comes back here at 8 ... eats ignores us... goes to bed. Her dip shit father drives her every morning to the shelter to meet him..dip shit father runs money and food back and forth to them and then picks her up after her bf goes into the homeless shelter for the night..
Sd gets up threw the night steals cans of food....cookies...and whatever she grab that doesnt need to be cooked... in the morning sd makes lunches for him and her homeless bf.
We walk on egg shells here because if you confront sd she gets in your face calling you a piece of sheet...hates your guts..then tells you she is gonna punch your lights out... she has already pushed and shoved him ...screaming like a banshee and stomping around..she has got in my face once to..
Im working to get the hell out hes in counceling im done alpha females shit show
He has another 13 yr old that
He has another 13 yr old that doesnt live with us
..i see the writing on the wall in a few yrs here mother will not be able to handle her either and ship her off here ....oh jesus i need out like yesterday