Make her arse come and get the stupid dress!

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HHB calls DH. There is a dress she left here that wants for Easter. She wants DH to bring it to her, which of course he will because it's an opportunity to see HHB...which he hasn't since her birthday about a month ago. I'm sitting here wondering how HHB even thinks the dress will fit! I'm sure she will find a way to stuff herself into it!

Then, BM starts texting DH demanding more child support...saying he owes her because the law says she is entitled to X% and he isn't even paying that much! DH pays what he is court ordered, and BM didn't contribute a single penny when HHB lived here! He OWES her? Seriously? What frackin' crack pipe has she been smoking today? That woman has never contributed financially to raise that spawn!

I'm so pissed right now I'm shaking! The nerve of the two of them! I want to tell DH to go get boxes out of the dogs' room, box up as much of HHB's crap as he can from her room, and take it with the stupid dress! I'm wondering what the hell HHB is asking for that BM is being such a b***h about wanting more child support, and thinking she can just demand it and get it. Sad thing is, I know what will happen. She will threaten court (which it's always a threat) and DH will voluntarily raise it just to shut her up. And what will that mean? Yeah, there goes MY money, because he already doesn't make enough to cover his bills, his expenses, and his share of the household stuff! Yup, I will end up having to cover the extra child support!

The next two years need to go by faster! Seriously...

Oh...and on top of the child

Oh...and on top of the child support, we pay HHB's health and dental insurance, as well as her stupid cell phone....which DH can never get hold of her on! If he agrees to more child support, I swear I'm cutting off that girl's phone!

Woah, wrong blog?!?! How did

Woah, wrong blog?!?! How did it suddenly jump?

I would LOVE for DH to get to

I would LOVE for DH to get to the point of wanting to clean out HHB's room and letting me turn it into something else. Problem is, he is still hoping she will one day want to come back here, so he has to keep her space for her!

BM has never taken DH back to court...hasn't had to. She yells enough, he gives in! Right after BM's sister died...HHB was in 4th grade...she sent HHB to live with us so she could get herself together. She somehow managed to convince DH to keep giving her the child support the 9 months HHB was with us! Then, when HHB was sent to us the first bout of trouble, it was immediately after BM got the child support for that month...she didn't gives dime back! As a matter of fact, she asked DH to give her a half payment each of the two months after that so she could situate things, and DH did! HHB moved back with BM after 6 months, only to get sent back to us after more trouble 5 months later!!! Again, it happened just a couple of days after BM got the child support for the month! She tried again to get partial payments, and I flat out told DH hell no!

DH doesn't think BM will take him to court at this stage of the game, but that won't stop him from giving her more to shut her up! The thought of giving those two entitled lazy butts any more money makes me angry beyond angry!!! Time for one or both of them to get jobs! HHB is 16! Make her arse work if she wants all these new clothes, makeup, hair dye, etc. the emo girlfriend can drive her everywhere else, she can provide job transportation! Time for HHB to learn about life, and start to be weaned from the Bank of Daddy! Hey, she quit color guard...should have plenty of time for a job now!

I would LOVE for DH to get to

Maybe you could get some

Maybe you could get some boxes (and a hazmat suit) and start putting her clothes in them. That way if and when she needs clothes, you put the boxes outside or in DH's car, ready to go. At the same time, you are reducing her footprint in that room. Have another open box in there, and once in a while go in and toss a few nick nacks in there, while you spray some Febreze (all while wearing a hazmat suit).

I think you'll feel better as you see the room's clutter/HHB-ness being reduced. You can tell DH that you are straightening. You just have things boxed up. Tell DH it's winter clothes, etc. Eventually, you'll be able to stack them in the closet and out of sight.

When I saw the title to this post I knew it was you!

Let her take him to court!!!

Let her take him to court!!! Even if he doesn't win, let him FIGHT!!! This was a long raging battle for me with SO. FIGHT.BACK.!!!!!!

He did, won on a few points, lost on one... but since then, I'm telling you the honest truth. BM Went Silent! For real. Until he grows some balls and fights back, it will be like this forever.

I so wish I could do anything

I so wish I could do anything with that room without a huge fight with DH! He is so sure one day she will want to visit, and doesn't want her upset that we did anything with the room. Stepdad turned HHB's room into an office when she was sent to live with us, and poor baby was sooooooo upset!

If BM does take DH back to court, I don't know what I would do! DH Is so sure she can't do it...she couldn't even take HHB to court for her stuff, and she doesn't have money for an attorney. I tell him, "Don't you know how these things work? If she takes you to court, they will get it ruled that you have to pay her legal fees because she doesn't have a job!!! She can't use her husband's money in this battle just like you can't use mine! You need to start thinking about what you will do if she gets froggy about this!" He still brushed it off...saying she says this crap all the time to get a rise out of him. If it happens, I may just be out the door, cause I don't thing I can take what I know what will happen!

Later in the evening, DH tried to be frisky, and I had to shut him down. Sorry, you basically jumping when HHB calls demanding her stupid dress just turned me off!!! This morning, he was looking me, "Why don't you find me attractive." I wanted to tell him, "Maybe because you jump every time HHB tells you to no matter how crappy she treats you! Women find men attractive who don't bow to other females, and have enough self confidence and self respect to not let someone treat them like an old rag doll!" Didn't say it...needed to get my grocery shopping done and didn't have time for a 2-hour argument. Just tried to let it drop, but I can feel an argument brewing. He already got upset with me when I asked home why he was trying to take HHB her dress at 10 am when he knows she won't be up until 1 pm.

You're a better woman than I.

You're a better woman than I. I would've already opened my mouth about this, especially with everything that you've put up with in the past. I'm sure an argument is brewing...does he not realize what he's doing to himself and to you?

Oh...we have had that fight

Oh...we have had that fight more than once! I will finally open the door and tell him he needs to stand up for himself...that he needs to stop being so down on himself. He gets all mad and defensive and starts lashing back at me, telling me that I'm the one who has little self confidence! His reasoning behind it? Because I'm always working out and trying to get leaner! Yeah...that is his argument! "Why can't you just be happy in your own skin?" I have to tell him over and over I have no issue with self confidence! Why do I push myself so hard when I work out? Because it is possible to be happy in your skin and still strive to be better! In my opinion, WANTING to better yourself and doing working hard to do so are prime examples of being confident! People who aren't confident, don't even try. There is nothing wrong with me wanting to be leaner (not skinnier, leaner...big difference). There is nothing wrong with me wanting to be physically stronger! Yet, DH just sits there and complains his clothes don't fit, that he doesn't have energy, that this and that hurts. He stands in the mirror looking at himself and says he let himself go. You maybe find him in the gym working out with me 2 days a week, and he eats nothing but junk and drinks sugary drinks when I'm not there to see. When he does go to the gym, he claims after 15 minutes that he is done. Yet, if we work out together, he gets upset at how I push myself to the point of failure, and I lift more. I'm a personal trainer...that is what you do to get strong...you have to push to that point you think you have nothing left, and try to squeeze out just a bit more. But then he goes right back to putting himself down, and I'm the one with self confidence issues!

Same with our jobs. I actually have 2...personal trainer is what I do on the side. Both DH and I work in IT. He hates his job, but doesn't try to find a place he can be happy...doesn't think he is good enough to go for higher jobs. He is find just taking orders at work, and won't voice any opinion when he thinks something is wrong. I, on the other hand, am a take charge person at work! If there is something not right, I bring it up. Just last week I saved our butts by pointing out a critical step was being missed in a procedure no one else thought about. I've been promoted based on not only my performance, but by also showing leadership qualities. But again...I'm obviously the one with self confidence issues.

We go to a non-denominational Christian church. There is this thing called a sozo. It is inner healing...getting past the lies in your life that you keep believing that are holding you down. DH keeps telling me I need to go through one, and I tell him, "Sure, but not until you go through one yourself!" I'm not afraid of what will come from it, but I know DH is because he is comfortable not dealing with his issues. I keep hoping that he will finally just do it so that I have to. I'm still waiting!

Just like the whole thing with HHB and BM...it's easier to just give in than standing up for himself! If it were me, when HHB called last night for that dress, I would have said something like, "Really? You can't call me or return texts all month, but when you want something from my house, it's 'hey, I need you to bring this to me'? Maybe you need to get someone to get you a ride to my house so that you can get anything else you may need from that room, because I'm getting ready to clean it out and turn it into _______!" Sure, it's his daughter...I get this. But that doesn't give her the right to treat him like crap, and it doesn't mean that he has to take it! It's called tough love!

If I have any weakness it is that I love my husband. He wasn't always like this. I don't know who kicked him in the gutt and told him he was less, but over the years he has gone further and further down this hole! I would almost swear it is some hormonal imbalance and/or mental issue. I have read that certain hormone imbalances will cause depression and the like. But, you can't get him to a doctor, either...and I can't get him to eat healthy but 1 meal a day.

Well, if he already can't

Well, if he already can't cover his share because of cs and he is ready to just give more for "peace" then that actually solves a problem for you. Tell him you want some "peace," too.

DH, we're going to move to a smaller house now, one you can afford. This house is so small it doesn't have a room for hhb because YOU can't afford it.

No? Oh. Ok. Then we are going to re-adjust THIS house to reflect the proportions of who's paying for what. Fantastic! That room is now MINE! Turn it into your library or sozo temple.

Let his money fly out the door. Turn it to your advantage. It also has the added benefit of reminding dh you are a person, too, an ADULT and that hhb is HIS responsibility, not yours. Maybe you'd feel more generous about it if he ever delegated any "equity" to you, as Rags says, in how she's being raised. But he doesn't. He just makes her into a big ole pile of icky that he constantly crams down your throat.

There are many days I wish we

There are many days I wish we didn't buy a manufactured home, and that over the course of 11 years, this place didn't end up needing so much work! I'd tell DH in a heartbeat to sell it. Of course, I would still need a place for BS20. That is another reason I can't touch HHB's room. DH would be like, "Well, BS20 is off at school!" Yeah, but he still lives here a month in the winter and 3 months in the summer! This is still his mailing address!

Think I'm gonna buy some paint and start with painting! At least get all her dirty handprints off the walls in the hall, kitchen, and that bathroom! Maybe I can convince him after that to go ahead and pack things up and paint that room. I hate that the finish of our walls don't make them cleanable. Gotta treat the dark spots with something like Killz do the dirt doesn't come through the new paint. Lazy HHB couldn't stand without leaning, and could walk without getting her nasty hands on everything! Maybe she was actually stoned all the time...hmmm!

Well, you can afford your

Well, you can afford your child's room, yes? But he is already not pulling his weight and wants to throw more greenbacks at BM. Make him understand the new math.

Cant, buy that paint!! You

Cant, buy that paint!! You will need to box up HHB's crap (wearing gloves, if not a biohazard suit) so you don't splash paint on her precious belongings! Do you have an attic? Move them there. If not, well, never unpack the dang things.

DH said when he got back that

DH said when he got back that BM made a comment about his watch...which I bought him for our anniversary last year. "New watch?" He responded that it wasn't new, and was a gift (he's had the watch for 10 months now)! Seriously, this b***h is looking for every little piece of evidence that she can find to claim that DH can afford to give her more money!! DH assured me he only gave her the court-ordered, and that he told her again that was it. That will keep her quiet until the beginning of next month. She has gotten to pulling this crap now every beginning of month. I told DH, "She obviously thinks you make more than you do! I guess she thinks I work some crappy job for low pay." DH confirmed that he knows she has no clue that I'm the higher wage earner in our home! I found myself thinking, "Well, maybe you should make her aware of that and let her know that I will never be obligated to pay her anything, so she needs to back off about more support!"

DH did drop off HHB's dress...she hardly said two words to him. It's okay for BM and HHB to only call for money and such. BM tries to claim that DH isn't even trying, yet he can show her the near daily ignored texts and phone call attempts to HHB! But he's not trying! Girl is turning out exactly like BM! I did mention to DH that now with no kids in the house, it's time to start working on it...think I'll start making a list and start pricing stuff. Mentioned that it is very likely BS20 will be back at Lowes for the summer, and we should try to utilize his discount as much as possible while he is there. He agreed we should start fixing things and such. Hoping it will be a lead in to clear out that room!

I almost wish I were a fly on the wall when HHB tries to stuff herself into that dress she just had to have! I saw it before DH left the house, and thought there was no way it would fit HHB properly! It is strapless...could just imagine all the bulging out of the top of it, if she even manages to get it zipped!

I was lucky yesterday at

I was lucky yesterday at SIL's to not have to put up with too much chatter about how much HHB was missed. I'm thinking everyone is finally getting tired of her bull!

I did find out the REAL reason why HHB just had to have that dress when MIL asked DH about HHB. It wasn't for Easter at all! Seems that emo girlfriend decided to go back to regular school after HHB moved, since they no attend the same school! SOOOOOO...that means that the girls want to go to PROM together! I looked at the calendar, and prom is not for another month, but HHB just had to have that dress and her shoes NOW!! Seriously, knowing this, DH should have really made HHB come and get the stupid thing, along with the rest of her crap! That is probably why BM was asking for more money, too. Just in case the dress didn't fit, so HHB could get her girlfriend a corsage or something, help the girls get a limo...whatever. Oh hell no! Sorry, those are EXTRAS that are not required, thus DH is not required to contribute to these things! This is especially true the way HHB treats DH!

The whole fit by BM and HHB Friday night now makes complete sense! Princess wanted something, so princess has to have it, right?

So, now HHB is on a diet for

So, now HHB is on a diet for 4 weeks to try to squeeze into the dress. Beginning of May will come and the texts will light up DH's phone for.......Prom dress money! Sorry, DH but we're paying that nice young man to MOW OUR LAWN so a prom dress is not in our budget.

Bwahahahahaha.....! }:) }:)

~ Moon

Right? I wouldn't surprised

Right? I wouldn't surprised if HHB is back into starvation mode!

I finally broke down yesterday, and went out and bought a weed cutter. Still not as good as a mower, but with the kind of stuff we get and the terrain of our property, you can't use a regular mower, and field and brush mowers aren't cheap! Got a bit more done...then ran out of daylight. I did come across a huge ant mound, and I opened up the issue of HHB's room. "I bet this is where all those ants in HHB's room were coming from! We need to get in there and clean it out." "But there isn't much left in there." "Are you kidding me? That bin next to the bed is full of trash, there is a pile of clothes on the floor, and there is another pile of clothes on the floor of the closet! Ants LOVE piles of clothes! Seriously...we need to box it up, and you can take it to her. Let her figure out what she is keeping and throwing away...at her mom's!" DH kinda agreed...so, I think I will start boxing up the stuff, and when he asks, "Remember? I told you it had to be picked up or we will get ants and spiders and stuff!"

While you are doing yard work

While you are doing yard work don't forget to transplant some choice juicy spiders, ants, and choice other bugs to the piles of stuff in HHB's former room. }:)

Just to salt the landscape to motivate DH to take action.

Have fun!!! }:)

You are here

Make her arse come and get the stupid dress!