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At least she's honest about one thing...

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

We get home from our vacation yesterday, and pick up SD14 from MIL's. Of course...she starts right in talking about herself. Now, I can get sharing what she did all week, but it is something else to be as self-centered as SD14!

SD14 was in a color guard competition with her TEAM on Saturday. They got 3rd place, but let SD14 tell it, she got that 3rd place single handedly! It wasn't "we" anything...it was all "I" and "me"! "I'm the best on the guard", she is carrying the guard, etc. But in talking, she commented that she didn't have an issue with stage fright, but that is because she has always wanted to be on stage and the center of attention...these were her words. At least she is honest about something!!!

Oh, and I was ready to puke in the grocery store yesterday evening!! Through the entire store, SD14 is hanging all over DH!!! She starts telling him that we need to buy ice cream and brownies, etc. I say "no", and the two of them start to giggle and try to conspire on how to get me to say "yes"...not happening!!! She basically pouted when we left the store with no junk food, and only the essentials for my lunch and dinner for everyone during the week...healthy dinners.

We get home and give her her gift...a necklace...and she pretty much scoffs at it...puts on that fake "it's nice" smile, but you can tell that she is disappointed that this is all that she got from our trip! She then disappears to her room the rest of the night.

Oh, and when we return, DH has a progress report waiting for SD14 in his email...she is close to failing algebra for the 6 weeks. She gets a little talking to about how if the grades don't come up she will have to break it off with her boyfriend, but that's it.

EvilWickedSM's picture

So, let's see, your DH thinks her poor grades are attributed to her boyfriend and not to color guard at all?? Is she allowed to go out with her boyfriend that it is taking time from school work? She would be quitting color guard and fast if she were my kid and had poor grades.

I can so relate to the "carrying the team" mentality. SD15 has that in regards to softball, and her parents make it worse by acting the same way in regards to her sports. IMHO she is mediocre at best...certainly not the star player.

Good for you for not giving into the junk food. It was in poor taste for DH to make you out to be the "bad guy" by not standing beside you in the decision. If it's anything like my house DH gives in to SD15 and buys her what she needs for the week she's going to spend at our house, and she's there for 2 days, with nothing that she "had to have" eaten, so it goes in the trash because we don't eat that junk.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

LOL...yeah, I almost wanted to say, "Out of how many guards in your category?" It's the "me, me, me" that gets so annoying! She doesn't give credit to anyone else!

Oh, and I forgot to mention one thing that REALLY pissed me off when she was talking about guard. There is one girl on guard that is special needs...I haven't met her so I can't say exactly what her disability is, but it is along the lines of MD or something like that. SD14 was saying yesterday that the girl shouldn't even be on guard...she can't dance, she can't twirl...saying her mother threw a fit to get her on guard and that is the only reason she is there! She was saying all of this with the worst of attitudes! I wanted to smack her! SD14 doesn't have a clue what it is like to live with any kind of disability...let alone one that makes much of the world look like you like you are some kind of freak or something! SD14 has no sympathy or respect for anyone!!! Yeah, this girl's mother probably threw a fit, but it was probably because her daughter was being discriminated against based only on her disability! Who is SD14 to judge if this girl can dance or twirl? I've not seen this girl perform first hand, but will probably get to see her this Saturday, as SD14 EXPECTS us to show up to every single competition! DH can go alone...I go to one, maybe two tops to avoid a fight, but I'm not giving up my Saturdays for the next 2 months to watch the exact same show over and over, and then have to listen to SD14 afterward about how great she is! As for the girl with a disability? More power to her!!! She may not be perfect, but it takes a lot of strength and courage to get out there and do something like that with that type of disability in such a judgmental world!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

One of these days, these girls are going to find out the hard way that being self-centered does not get you anywhere in life! They may able to be able to pout and get dear sweet daddy to feel sorry for them now, but at some point, karma is going to bite them...it always comes back to get you!! I try not to think about what it will be like in this house when BS19 leaves for college...I am not looking forward to losing his positiveness around here! When she is literally the only child living here, I know she is going to try to pull all kinds of crap...no way. I'm waiting for her to start begging for a yearbook because I'm getting one for my son. Don't think so...son is a senior, and has never gotten a year book any other year of school because he understands...it is about memories, and senior year is when you want to get all those people you may never see again to write in your book, etc. She can wait until her senior year! She already gets so much more than he does because he begs DH until he gets tired of her and gives in, but that is coming to an end.

And the fight has already started over BS19's room. DH insists that SD14 be allowed to move in there when he leaves. I'm trying to fight it...the way she trashes her room, she does not need a bigger room and a bathroom we can't keep an eye on. As disgusting as the hall bathroom is, I can only imagine what it would be like if she isn't told to periodically clean it because one of us gets disgusted walking past it. I want to make the room a guest room/office which SD14's current room is too small to do that with. As it is, we are going to have to tear out the carpet and repaint SD14's room before it can be used by anyone for anything, and he wants to let her have at destroying another room in the house? Not to mention, there is no way BS19 can take all of his stuff to college with him, and the closet in that room is bigger than the one in SD14's room...so his stuff could be neatly put into storage until he is ready to take it. Yeah, this is going to be a huge battle, because I really don't think she should have that room.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Exactly!! But of course, I would clean it up. He hasn't destroyed it, it is just the the typical boy mess. See, I'm thinking about him still having a place to sleep when he comes home for holiday or that one month he gets for summer break. He will only be a 6-hour drive away! He is fine with me putting his stuff away neatly, and using the room as an office when he isn't home, just so long as I don't make it "foo-foo"...LOL! But, no...SD14 is already bugging DH for the bigger room! "I don't have enough room for my stuff!" You mean the tons of clothing you have, half of which you don't wear, and you constantly gripe that you have nothing that fits and you need new clothes? She says she doesn't have enough room in her closet for her clothes, but when you look in her closet, everything is piled on the floor and nothing is hung up. And when I say everything, I do mean everything! Shoes, clothes, towels that when cleaned should be folded and stored in the bathroom cabinet (not her room), sheets that when clean should be folded and stored in the bathroom cabinet, trash, etc. She has a set of clear drawers that were bought for her to help her organize things like her makeup and hair stuff...they are full of trash because she is too lazy to walk out to the trash can in the kitchen, and her makeup and hair stuff is all over the room and the bathroom. She has a dresser and a set of shelves, and additional shelves have been hung on the wall for her to put her keepsakes, but nothing is ever organized. Under the bed is also full of trash. Yeah, it is easy to say you don't have enough room when you don't organize anything!!! Bunched up clothes take up more room than neatly folded or hung up clothes, especially when mingled in with them are towels and sheets that shouldn't even be stored in your room, and she easily has enough trash in there to fill up at least 3 of those yard sized trash bags!

And then there are the walls...she thinks everything has to be stuck to the walls with duct tape! Yeah, that is going to leave all kinds of sticky stuff that will need to be removed somehow before the walls are repainted! The carpet has nail polish and other makeup and/or food stains all over it. But DH just wants to hand over to her another room of the house to destroy? What happens when she gathers so much trash and stuff in that room that she cries she doesn't have room? Is he going to hand over the master bedroom to her?

DH wants to start looking into getting another house closer into town, but I'm not about to get into a new house until she is gone!!! I already have to fix this one when she leaves (and not just her room, but all the other stuff she denies, like holes in walls from her flinging doors open when she was younger causing door knobs to go through sheet rock...where we just put a stick on plastic plate in place for now so that the drywall wouldn't get destroyed as fast as it was fixed).

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I hate ice/snow days now, because it means I'm stuck with the princess in this house all day!!! And one could only hope she would sleep all day, but she is already up and about.

I hate when she enters a room...she always does this thing where she walks in and just stands there until someone acknowledges that she is there. No, she just can't come in and find a place to sit like normal people, she has to make sure that everyone knows her presence! Our home is open-concept, and the TV room is connected to the kitchen. She comes out this morning and just stands there where the tile and carpet meet. When DH finally looks at her and says, "Yes?" she just says, "Nothing" and then goes to get a bowl of cereal. She stood there for like 5 minutes, but wouldn't move until acknowledged! I've gotten to the point that I refuse to acknowledge her when she does this...if DH isn't home and she just stands there like that, I leave her standing there. After about 10 minutes, she will either finally sit down, or go back to her room.

Yesterday, I didn't talk to her at all. She came home from school and went straight to her room. By 5:00 p.m., she was asleep. I had to leave for a meeting up at the school at 7:00 p.m., and all the lights were out in her room...still asleep. I came home at 9:00 p.m., and her light was on...not sure when she got up. I don't think she even noticed I was gone, because usually when I leave like that without telling her, I get a text asking where I'm at...yeah, like I'm accountable to her...more like she is wondering what I've gone and done without her. I didn't get any texts last night.

But this is how she is...she doesn't want to spend any time with or talk to anyone in the family unless it is her decision, and when it is, you better not pay attention to anyone or anything else but her!!! Hence, the standing in the room until she is acknowledged...as if to say, "Okay, I've decided I want you to pay attention to me now!"

Today is going to be a long day!!! Wonder how many times she will exclaim that she is bored, and ask DH if they can go out shopping or something when things thaw out some time after noon.

Only good thing is that BS19 is home today too, but the poor kid has to spend most of his day figuring out what is up with his car. DH promised to help him...but that means that SD14 is going to go into her jealousy bit, and do whatever she can to make DH pay attention to her instead. If DH doesn't help BS19 with the car today, I am going to be pissed!!!

UPDATE: YAY...DH had to end up going to work. He has helped BS19 with the car some, but now I'm stuck here with the princess without DH around to cater to her every need. Going to be a really long day....

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Why do they do that...treat them like 5-year-olds that is? It annoys the crap out of me, especially when it generates the "she doesn't know" excuses. Bull, she doesn't know, my arse! But yeah, I usually don't talk to SD14 very much. DH keeps trying to get us to be "close" but I just can't...I can't be close to someone who only thinks of themselves, who I can't have a conversation with that isn't all "me, me, me". I can have conversations with my son...cars, sports, zombies, just goofy things...I don't have to hear "I" or "me" as every other word that comes out of his mouth. We can also pick on each other without him getting all butt hurt, because he knows we are just playing. When it comes to SD14, she can dish it, but she can't take it...so you pick on her about anything, and she gets all butt hurt, but she is allowed to say what she wants about you! She goes around school calling BS19 fatty and stuff, but he calls her "Beiber hair" and she gets all butt hurt (because she wears her bangs like Bieber's old haircut). Then, there is DH telling BS19 to leave his sister alone, etc...but yet he never tells SD14 to quit when she is talking smack about BS19! Oh, that may be because BS19 actually has thick skin, and knows how to brush crap off instead of taking every little rib personally like SD14 does. You start picking on SD14 in any way, and she stands there and pouts, sticking that bottom lip out as far as she can as if it is cute or something. Just makes me want to puke!

SD14 doesn't have internet access at the moment, so I don't know what she is in her room doing...has been there all day, especially since BS19's friend is now here to help him with his car...and it's the friend she can't act all cute with (he has a sister much like her, and doesn't put up with her crap, either). Her tablet is completely broken at this point...this is the 3rd tablet? The only other computer for her to use is in the TV room, and she is not about to hang out in there...not to mention, it doesn't have a webcam, so she can't spend her day posting selfies!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

That was almost priceless! I was in the kitchen fixing a salad for my lunch, and talking to my son about his car...he was looking for something because a bolt wouldn't come undone, and I took a quick look under the sink and told him we didn't have an WD-40. His friend said he had some at his house, and they laughed that every time the car has a problem, they end up at his house. Through all this, SD14 comes out of her room, walks across the house the the TV room on the other side of the kitchen, stands there and looks at us, and then walks back toward her room. She walks back to the TV room, and when still not acknowledged, she went back into her room with a dejected look on her face. Sorry, we aren't going to make a big ordeal every time you walk into a room! You can keep walking back and forth, but you are not the center of the universe that we drop whatever we are doing or talking about just because you enter a room!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

When DH gets home tonight, I overhear a conversation between him and SD14 about color guard. SD14's exact words were, "None of them should even be in guard!!! They don't know how to do anything!!!" DH, trying to play advocate, tells her that maybe she should try to help them. She says that she has tried, but no one wants to listen to her, and it is just frustrating! She says they don't want to listen to anyone unless they are "professional"! She says this with all the attitude in the world. I wanted to say, "Well, if they frustrate you that much, maybe you should just quit the guard." Yeah, that wouldn't have gone over well, so I kept my mouth shut and just shook my head. Apparently, something happened in guard this morning, and she has been carrying this attitude all day because of it, and is STILL acting like she is pissed at the world.

I just love how SD14 thinks she is the best the guard has...especially when I saw there performance on the field during the football games, and SD14 looked like she was lost the whole time or was messing with her hair. If the guard got 3rd in the last competition, that means that at least some of the girls have a clue, because judges will not give you a good score if only one person can do the do the routine and the others look like they don't have a clue! For all we know, SD14 is the reason they got 3rd instead of higher, because she is all about herself and not about the team, and it showed in the routine!

The girl seriously needs to get over herself!!