Just ranting but had to get it off of my chest....
I’ve been counting down for the last several years and though the time has flown by, I still have 1 more year of having to deal with the BM. I just cannot stand her. I have seen her twice in my life; that is all. My husband speaks to her when she needs something but that’s it. Several years ago, I think before we got married. He told me that he told her about his pay raise. WHAT?? Are you crazy? I said she only calls you to tell you what’s going on with your son so that she can find out about any money that you may have.
When it comes to his ex, my husband is a BIG DUMMY! I don’t understand why these men cannot see that their ex is manipulating them in to doing things. I wish, oh how I wish they would have gotten some type of child support order put in place when they split up. It would have made things so much easier. He was more concerned with the court taking most of his money (information he got from some other guy who probably had a different situation) instead of just doing it. When we got together, I told him, just file so that she can stop holding on to your b*lls and controlling you and your money. He said no he didn’t want to do that because he didn’t want her to have any of his money. Surprise, surprise, surprise, she still gets your money, NUT, but instead she just milks you for everything you get and says it is for your son.
Later after we got married (our accounts are not joined), I noticed that he could hardly keep up with paying the bills. All he had was the groceries and the utilities at the time and I was responsible for everything else. This was based solely on our income. What I found out was that whatever she needed money for with regards to the boy (my SS), she would ask him and he would come up with it no matter what. So when I found this out, needless to say I was hot!! I told him that she was not going to be running this household. Granted he did not understand what I was saying. So I had to break it down. He never saw that all of his income was going to her for whatever she said she need for the boy.
I later learned that he was taking out small loans in order to pay household bill and pay money to her. He once asked me to put up my house for collateral for a loan….nope! This B**ch ain’t crazy. This had to stop. So I held a long and thorough conversation with him about this money issue and got a few things straight. Honestly, I had no idea that he could be so dumb when it came to her and the fact that she knew which buttons she could push because she WAS married to him. Why could he not see that she knew just how to manipulate him….because she was once married to him. BIG DUMMY! The last time she called about wanting him to pay for something for the boy( which was a few years ago), I told him to tell her that she had to pay half and she had to take him to lessons (can’t remember what type of lessons-sport related) every other time he had to go.
She said okay let me get back with you. She called back a day or so later and said, no, he won’t be taking those lessons. BOOM!! Now keep in mind that we live an hour from her so if my husband was going to take him, it would have been an hour there and an hour home….plus this was around the summer so SHE would have had to come to our house….an hour there and an hour back. She never wants to lend one finger to do anything. Every time my husband gets his son, during the every holiday, every other weekend and the entire summer, he drives an hour there and an hour back. He has NEVER asked me to pick him up or drop him off because he knows that I will not put a finger to help, even if he is dog tired because his ex will not put a finger to help. Serves him right for kissing her a** all these years.
I’m glad to see that there are people on here that get along with the skids but I just never liked him and even though he has matured a little, I still don’t like him. I just want him to move on with his life and get out of my house. Every chance the BM gets she tries to dump him with us and go on a vacation, so there are a number of double weekends and wrap around holidays. I just want it all to end. 2017 cannot get her fast enough for me.
When SS turns 18 in 4-5 months, I will then have 2 holidays and 1 spring break and I’m done. There will be no reason for him to come to my house for the summer for any reason and especially not to stay. At that point, we have no legal obligation to pick him up or pay for anything regarding him, school or other. If we choose to do so, then that’s different. I really hope (finger and toes crossed) that he goes into the military so that he can be stationed overseas. I think I may pray on that…..
This is why I can only hope and pray that my SS finds a job this year (within the next few weeks on his mom’s side of town) so that he can stay over there for the summer. Oh what joy! Then he can keep it throughout the entire school year until he goes into the military. Then maybe just maybe my holidays can be joyous again. I don’t think I would have a he problem with the boy if his dad was not so up his butt. I can’t wait. I will for sure have a party of some sort to celebrate being rid of the ex and the SS…at least for the most part.