I'm step free
I've been meaning to post on here for a while but with so many step parents suffering it does not seem fair to advertise the fact that I'm a lot happier than I have been in years after breaking up with my ex earlier this year. I don't have to see the step kids (his kids) again and I'm just relieved. It's odd because when I first met my now ex I had high hopes and thought that I would like his kids as much as I liked him but I didn't like his daughter and she was very jealous of us. Of course, he was always on her side and couldn't see that he was being manipulated so I don't know what the answer is. I guess I was fighting on all fronts in the end. Her February visit almost killed me! I felt a sense of impending doom the minute she arrived and I think it was the beginning of the end of my relationship with DH (now ex). Even though I'm a single parent now and life is hard, especially finances I feel lighter than I did. I dreaded the visits from SD and I felt moody in the lead up to them, during and afterwards. She visited so often that I realised how much emotional energy this was taking up and also time (most of the year). I was always escaping to my parent's house which wasn't good. Don't get me wrong, my parents love seeing their little grandson, but sometimes I would stay for weeks on end and they were concerned that I didn't seem to want to go home. Now I have my own apartment with the little one and it's really nice having my own space. I've been reflecting a lot this week about what I would have done differently but I just don't know. When you don't hit it off with someone there's very little you can do. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion too. It eats away at you, consuming energy. I'm not one to give out advice or any pearls of wisdom as I'm still trying to figure stuff out in my head. I know that I'm happier and I'm doing stuff I haven't done in years. Some of the posts on here make me feel like I want to reach out and give everyone a hug. I hope everyone finds a way forward without having to take the drastic action (of ending my relationship) I took this year.