I hate my SS19
It didn't srat out this way. I've been in his life since was 15 and I don't think I spent enough time around him before I married his father. SS is the spitting image of Bio Mom. Loser. Liar. Manipulator. User. He lacks empathy or ambition. His main goal in life it to party.
He wreck the car that DH bought for him. Now we are buding sued personally by his friend that he had in the car. SS could care less. He has no job and bad credit. He's overdrawn the only bank account hes ever had and owes them money. He cant even get a cell phone in his own name.
He doesnt like rules and doesnt expect anyone. He is trying to move back in with us. DH can't say no. I don't know how to handle it. I can't stand to be around him. He's phoney (I know he's said terrible things behind my back about me) and he talks about stupid shit. His friends and their babies and how they run up walls, and smoke pot.
He told us that he can get his old job back and when he does he wants to move back in with us. I dont want to to officially move back in until he starts the job. DH disagrees. I know whats going to happen. He told us FT but, its going to be PT. Then DH and I are going to have to push him to get a FT job. Meanwhile he will be hanging out in our house watching my tv and eating my food with his friends while DH and I bust our arse at work.
We plan on charging him rent but not sure how much yet. HELP! I'm so upset about this. He lived with us when we were first married and then moved out when he turned 18 and went to live with his mom. DH and I fought all the time about him and I didnt think I would make it to our one year anniversary. Once SS moved out it was wonderful. DH and I got a lot closer and Im afraid he is going to come between us again.
Repeat after me the word
Repeat after me the word inside the quotations...1, 2, 3 "no". 1, 2, 3, "no". 1, 2, 3 "no" THEN have husband repeat. He's 19 for god's sakes. Save yourself and your marriage.
OMG, that's my biggest fear
OMG, that's my biggest fear right now! SS19 is a high school drop out, no job, suspended license, no car, druggie. He was living here when he quit going to school, and just left one day w/o a word. A year later he's apologizing and says he's totally messed up and wants his life and family back. Says he doesn't want to end up in jail like his friends. All the while he's totally messed up and slurring his words. He's a liar and still on drugs, his mother won't let him stay there anymore since he refused a drug test. His Dad let him stay here last night and I'm sitting here tapping my foot waiting for him to drop him off elsewhere. I can not stay in this house if he is allowed to stay!!!!
How upsetting, it's really
How upsetting, it's really hard to give advice because it's implementing the advice that's the hardest. You and your husband would have to decide to put an end to the enabling or you will continue to allow him to destroy your life along with his. A closed door may lead to an open heart later.