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I can't wait for my stepdaughter to graduate and go to college!!!

MSSHERRI's picture

Hi all. I'm new to StepTalk and am glad I found this forum because I was just about to see my doctor to ask if she can refer me for counseling. I am married to a man who already had 6 (5 biological moms) children when we met. I have a son, 22 and we have a daughter together 9. Five of those 6 children a females. One of the girls came to live with us when she was 14 because her mother was about to go to court for truancy. SD has now been living with us for over 2 years. From the age of 5 until she moved in with us, this child never responded to anything I said, she always gave me a blank expression. I figured...oh she's just a kid. Once SD came to live with us, she immediately took possession of my H. He is her entertainment; her best friend. She is constantly talking to him about random issues; staring at him lovingly; wrapping herself around him, needing to make constant physical contact whether its playing tosies, touching his hand, holding his hand. Oh and by the way, she has snatched his hand out of mine before, SD spends her every waking minutes in the presense of my husband. SD thought it was ok to walk around in her panties and bra in front of her dad. I got that crap nipped in the bud quick. Oh...and by the way, I'm the one with the problem, because dad doesn't see anything wrong with that. He said he is her father, so what's the problem. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I see these things. This is not a small child doing these things...she is 16...a young woman. I've spoken to my husband and of course he thinks I'm jealous. I'm not, its just that when we go places, it can appear that SD is his woman and not his daughter. She has to sit next to him in every restaurant and at the movies and constantly engage him in conversation, often leaving out everyone else. Her posture is always close and her chest almost thrust into his arm as if to say "he's mine". My husband doesn't see what she is doing...he just thinks his daughter loves him so much. And did I fail to mention that she has to rub his feet and back with lotion all of the time (sometimes he does ask) and then, of course, he has to rub her feet or she'll throw a fit. Did I mention that when we get home from work and pull up to the front of the house, she has to bolt out of the door to run and give hime a hug and a kiss? We've had issues where if I said something in a "disiplinary" way, I was being mean. Oh...and per my husband, I have to watch what I say not to provoke her to disrespect me. Oh...and did I mention that my husband has felt that he can "scold" me in front of the children? And OMG...my 9 year old daughter feels like she needs to get my husband's attention because she knows the SD gets it all. The SD needs some teenage friends and of course we don't want her to hand out with just anyone. I have a few theories on what is going on, but I want to see if someone else can analyze this situation and tell me what they think. I know this is a lot and somewhat random, but I'm so glad to get this off my chest.