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How much of my time/energy should I give my skids?

rubia's picture

I just threw this insane baby shower for my sd18. She has to leave the country soon (whole other story), so she gave me and her friend 2 weeks notice that she wanted us to throw her a baby shower to which she invited over 200 people. I had offered to throw her a shower, but that's not exactly what I had in mind. I think I was originally just thinking to have a small shower for my family and her dad's family to come to. But I went along with it. However, I'm trying to learn from my mistakes, and I now realize that I can never do that again. Next time, if I am asked to be part of a huge thing like that, I will politely decline, but offer to take care of one thing, like the favors or centerpieces or something. NOT THE WHOLE THING!!!

So that's over now (thank god!)
Oh, but I did want to say how truly unappreciated I feel by both her and her father.

But anyway, I guess I am a giver and I do generally like my skids (sd18 a little less, to be honest), but I love kids in general and want to be there for my skids and do fun stuff with them and generally try to have a good relationship with them.

I offered to take sd12 and her cousin to the city this weekend and I hope I'm not setting myself up for another disaster. I love to do these things, but also don't like feeling unappreciated or taken advantage of (I mostly only feel that way from sd18, though). With sd12, it's more typical 12 year old stuff, I think. No, she doesn't really seem to appreciate the things I do for her, but I'm pretty sure I was like that at 12, too, and I hope one day she will. Somehow it seems different with an 18 year old, though, especially since she kind of demands things be done for her, where inthis case, I'm offering. I always have to be on the lookout that I set limits though.

rubia's picture

That's great advice. (Seems obvious, I know, but obviously I havn't been doing that), so for now, before I agree to ANYTHING, I will set the terms FIRST! Thank you!

folkmom's picture

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