How do I stay quiet when SD16 is bulldozing DH?
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Its so hard to stay quiet when I see DH floundering and sputtering while SD16 does her manipulative attacks on him? I know the tactics she uses very well. He just gets overwhelmed and either lets her have her way or argues with her forever until he gives in. How do I sit back and let my spouse get so so abused? I know he would say something if the situation was reversed because he's done it and i appreciated the help. Actually the only person who complains about me saying anything is SD16. According to her I do it all the time. In reality i try to avoid her like the plague so its actually kind of rare i say anything. Maybe i should just get up and leave the room next time i find myself in that situation again.
Maybe i should just get up
Maybe i should just get up and leave the room next time i find myself in that situation again.
^^^ This!
Unless your DH giving in affects you (such as financially) then just walk away. If he chooses to be a doormat parent then so be it. He is an adult and has the ability to set her straight. So why bother.
If it were me, I would probably make a comment while walking away like 'don't let me stop you, just going to pop some popcorn for this show'.
You don't. "Shut your mouth
You don't stay quiet. "Shut your mouth and never speak to my husband that way again. Ever. He may be your dad but he is my husband and I will not tolerate anyone speaking to him as you do. If you ever do that again you will not be welcome in MY home and you will not have the pleasure of spending time with my husband. Push it and you can become an emancipated minor and figure it all out on your own."
Then follow through on bringing the consequences. Inform your DH that she will not be tolerated if she cannot be civil.
At times i feel when you disengage
and let a sk speak to their bio parent (your spouse) like that, then this is very dangerous when there are other kids at home because they learn by example
i have put my foot down and said to hubby ss behaviour and disrespect, talking rudely and excuses for everything will not be tolerated as our kids will not be exposed to that behaviour at home.
i have barely started bringing the pain to ss but he’s finally realised his scheming ways are up and is a whinging little bitch who’s sulking and refused to come home for 2 months now.
As a parent you can teach your kids all you want but if they grow up in a home where a step or half sibling can cuss, be rude, disrespectful and lazy etc, all you have done for your kids is pointless. They will see the double standards and you saying that child behaves differently because he has a different parent won’t change much
Yes i would never let my bios
Yes i would never let my bios live with these beasts. Glad im too old to have kids. DH wanted to have a kid together. I told him I wont raise a child with these skids in the house.
It's not your place to jump
It's not your place to jump in and defend your husband from his children, like he's a bullied 5-year-old. If he can't man up and do it himself, that's his problem.
I would say to him that I can't stand the way she bullies him, and that he allows it, and then let it go. Remove yourself if it's driving you crazy.
Afraid how far to remove myself
He knows how i feel about it. I can't keep having DD8 around it. She's been experimenting a little lately with taking after her older sister who she looks up to unfortunately. If i could move out until SD leaves i would.
Older SD did this to DH a lot
Older SD did this to DH a lot. I learned quickly to stay out of it because I would be the fall guy.
I would leave the room. Soon DH would discuss it with me. I would simply tell him that if anyone spoke to me like that then there would be problems for them. She needs to learn to control her words and frustration and not treat people like crap, and it begins with family.
Eventually he started standing up to it, but at age 14 it was too late. She simply left.
I wish SD16 would leave. No
I wish SD16 would leave. No one wants her. She runs every home she lived in. BM dumped her on DH when her BMs boyfriend had enough of the kids. My MIL took them in for a year but was relieved when they all moved out. DH told her she could leave anytime but no one wants her.
I spoke up. My DH had a fever
I spoke up. My DH had a fever and chills and sooo sick with the flu. She was relentless & yelling at him, demanding things. I told her to give it a rest....ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. Im glad it happened though. No one has ever stood up to her. She has toned it down a little but she still talks to him like he's her inferior. At least she knows not to fuck with me as I have DHs balls in my hands and unless I was being totally unreasonable, which I'm not, I will always win.