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How to add FSS (Future Stepson) into our Wedding Program Sign

ambrok's picture

I'm are getting married soon & I have no children of my own. I've known my FSS since he was 9 & he just turned 15. We've had an easy time getting to know each other & our relationship is more of an Aunt/Nephew type. He's a bit of an introvert & I'm not looking to change that...he seems pretty content. He definitely wants to be at our wedding (it'll be the 1st wedding he's ever attended); but he does not want to be 'in' the wedding. I do think it's odd that he won't be in the wedding at all & often wonder what guests will think (not that I should care; but honestly...I think we will be judged for this).

We do have a wedding party consisting of other family/friends.
We are doing a sand ceremony with just my fiancé n I.

I definitely plan on mentioning my FSS in our quick, little Thank You speech. Is this enough? I would like to do a 'Wedding program' sign that lists the wedding party, etc. I've seen them also list the Bride/Grooms' parents; can I add FSS's name to this as well?

twoviewpoints's picture

Is there a mother of the groom that FSS could escort down the aisle? Program could list Mother of Groom _________ escorted by son of the groom __________.

If he is an introvert he'd likely be comfortable wearing the tux and escorting Grandma. The name inclusion and the tux would signify his importance to the bride and groom apart from the regular guest.

His part would be quick in the service but you could also have him 'stand out' a bit at reception by doing a bride and now SS dance after the bride and groom dance. Unless he's too shy for that.

At 15yrs old , teens think the whole world is looking at them, ask him what he is comfortable with and that some participation would mean lots to you and Dad.

hereiam's picture

Why do you think it's odd that he doesn't want to be in the wedding? If he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to. Maybe you could suggest that he be an usher?

I can't imagine why anyone would think it weird that he's not in the wedding, not every family member need be. I have two sisters and when my my dad got re-married, none of us were actually in the wedding. And thank God, being in weddings is a pain in the ass. We were my dad's daughters, that was enough.

Don't overthink it. Let him just attend the wedding, if that's what he wants, and have a good time.

notasm3's picture

You could list him as Honorary Groomsman, son of xxxx

Or Honorary Best Man .....

ChiefGrownup's picture

I like the idea of him wearing a boutonniere and escorting gramma or some other person who will fit the bill.

At our wedding we had then 13 year old sd carry a basket with wedding favors in it. We had her memorize one line to say, something like "thank you for coming-here's your special thematic trinket" and pass them out. We wanted her to have something to do to minimize her making trouble.

Acratopotes's picture

Respect his wishes, if he does not want to be in the wedding so be it, as another poster said ask him and his father what they want and maybe suggest SS is responsible for the guest book, greeting people at the door and telling them which side to sit on....

You yourself said he's an introvert, they don't like attention and they don't like giving scrap that from your plans, after the bride and groom dance and bride father dance.... dance with SS... on a song he likes, this will not make him feel left out...