Holidays and SK'S
The holiday season has me down. It normally does I think part of it is just SADD, lack of sunshine and this year how up in the air eveything is with SD14. For the first time DH spent time with SD since the beginning of May. She finally agreed to get dinner with him, and apparently according to her EVERYTHING is wonderful. I say according to her because she is known for not telling the truth, about everything.
She is apparently doing better in school (we haven't recieved an incident report in 4 weeks) she is getting more involved and situated in her Therapy School and knows this is where she needs to be at this time.
But here we are, they left grabbing dinner out with "See you soon" which they both exchanged but with no actual plans and it's now the beginning of the holiday season. So now I am confused, I have tried to say less about how he decides to have a relatoonship with her but I also feel like I never know what will happen. Will she comes to the in-laws for Thanksgiving (most likely not as that is too many people to see all at once and she has a lot of anxiety) will she come to the house if I am there? Will she want to spend time in our home this winter or for Christmas? It's all making me a nervous wreck and setting my anxiety on a spiral.
I am just venting and I am also trying not to overstep (whatever that is and whereever that invisable line exist) Feeling a bit blue and I am not sure what to do or not do at this point.
Yeah, the holidays are always
Yeah, the holidays are always hard when parental alienation is going on. Even though SS is back in our lives, he went radio silent last year after Thanksgiving (which he spent with some friends) and DH didn't hear from him at all until after Christmas. He hasn't acknowledged father's day or DH's birthday this year. He says he's coming with us to my family's Thanksgiving gathering this year, we shall see.
I'm glad your DH got to have dinner with her though. One thing I learned was just to expect the "ping-ponging" - in and out of your life.
I suppose the other bummer is
I suppose the other bummer is that this weekend would be picking out the Christmas tree and decorating the house and it feels weird to do it without her at the house even though she hasn't been in the house in 6 months. but I have a big Christmas party every year and it's next weekend and I need to get the house decorated.
Yep, that part was hard too,
Yep, that part was hard too, even though I hate Christmas pretty much entirely.
You can not have your life revolving Around
A sick SD. You never know what SD you are going to get, or get by the hour. Make your plans, do what you have to do. If SD is by you and wants to participate that great. If she does not, Then life goes on without her. You can not have SD control what happing.
Yesterday DH was served
Yesterday DH was served papers for modification to child support. Ugh she did it purposely the day before Thanksgiving at his place of employment. Then BM calls him and says it's been so hard on her the last 6 months wth SD and no one to talk to. Sorry bitch that you have no friends and your a heinous person but DH is not your therapist. Talking about how he doesn't believe SD diagnosis. OH YEAH finally a real DX and I called it months ago. Borderline Personality Disorder which is what I have been saying for months so NO BM we believe it and we also believe she has NPD but she will never stop lying and manipulating long enough to get a proper DX.
He had to listen to an hour of her venting and spewing lies even saying she has been giving his older son money but his son would never even speak to her as she he hates the ground she walks on.
We went from 50/50 with SD to morning due to alienation and refusal and now DH who has been trying for months is the bad guy. He was like " if your unable to handle it SD can live with us" of course that would never happen because it would be the world's longest custody battle because BM only cares about how this looks to the world #singleMomKillingIt....you get the drift. None of this is about her daughter this is all about her.
Then the kicker was DH asked how she felt about their 14 year old having an almost 19 year old boyfriend. She responded she was fine with it, that they are never alone (cue the rolling of the eyes) etc. BM leaves SD home alone more than not to play in her band or some stupid old rules baseball or just to see her boyfriend 45 minutes away. She doesn't parent and this last 6 months have been hard for her because she was never the primary parent and she never actually parented. She is just a teenager mentally who wants to be BFF's with her teenage daughter...that has worked out lovely.