My fiance and i have been together 8 years next week.  We each have children from a previous marriage. I left him for a bit last summer, for many reasons, but the children were certainly a factor.  He is a stronger disciplinarian when it comes to my boys, and it hasn't been welcome.  We were raised very different and I always felt he was borderline mean to my boys.  His daughter on the other hand he rarely parents in fear of upsetting her so she wouldn't want to come over.  It got to the point he was yelling at my boys and yet she would do the same things so I would tell her the rules apply to her as well. For example.. eating vegetables.  We would all be at the table and he would yell at my youngest to eat his or no dessert and she wouldn't touch hers and be allowed dessert.  I finally got to where I would tell her the same things he would tell my son.  I would tell her to eat her vegetables or no dessert.  Or the internet.  If he felt the kids were on it too much he would ask me to cut it to the house. Except when she would start crying and then he wanted to take it from my boys but not her. I would refuse and say if one gets it they all do. If he was yelling at my son to pick up his shoes he left on the floor, that were sitting right near hers, I would tell her she needed to pick p her shoes too.  I wouldn't yell like he did but she didn't like losing princess status very much.  Didn't take long for resentment to build and I decided I couldn't live with him any longer and moved out. After some time apart we decided to try therapy again and he is doing really great with my boys and overall we are happy.   His daughter on the other hand is t totally mad I left her dad and she didn't like me much the last year or so before i left because I got tired of the blatant favoritism. We got engaged on new years and she is ticked. She refuses to speak to me or my boys and refuses to come over at all. My fiance still sees her but she has cut us all off.  My son is 10. He has known her since he was 2. At one point we had her half time.  She is 15.  My other son is also 15.  It's really hurtful to them and they are sad. I'm upset for them and my fiance but annoyed with her.  It has been almost a year since I left and we were only apart about 2 months. During  that two months I still saw her and her dad. She had been coming around sporadically until we got engaged and now she refuses. We are set to be married in June on a cruise.  We bought her a ticket but she says she refuses to come.  Now I am so torn.  He still wants to move forward with it, but I am not sure.  I wonder if it is better to postpone?  we have been together this long, why rush?  Maybe give her time to adjust and come around? I worry it will further hurt the relationship with her and I worry about what it will do to our marriage if she never comes around and moves past it.  I also worry about what this will do moving forward.  How will me and my children feel tobe excluded all the time?  Graduation?  her weddng. Her children. My fiance on the other hand says he is not letting a child who only was with us two weekends a month control his life.  He is upset I want to postpone because she is being a difficult teenage girl.  I'm not allowed to come with him when he sees her.  She doesn't respond to my texts or phone calls. I reachout to her every few days asking to take her to starbucks or to get her nails done or go to her favorite restaurant.  I send her little picture memories of fun tmes together or stupid gif's that say miss you or love you.  and I tried to ask her mom for help and got no response from her either.  Either way she is still causing separation in our lives.  My boys and i are hurt and sometimes angry.  He is hurt and sometimes angry.  Sometimes at me and sometimes at her.  Anyone with any insight? Should we wait? Should we not? Should we even get married at all if it is going to start off on this footing?