Quick Summary of my background: DH is overly enmeshed with SD18. She plays him; he refuses to see it and is quick to forgive. BM is a loon, and DH and SD18 team against her... and me at times. MIL and FIL are nice people. Their other son, DH's only sibling, is a horrible human being, along with his wife who stirs up trouble and overdrinks. We are going to a winery next weekend rather than hosting a party at our house for the HS graduation of SD18. So here is my question - what to do about the ceremony and LOs (Baby and Toddler).
The winery will take up most of Saturday. I expect SIL to over drink and for them all to go back to their hotel afterwards. But then there is Sunday -- the day of the ceremony. The class has 2200 students, so they hold the ceremony 30 minutes from us at a large college arena. Pictures will happen beforehand outside our home. I am debating whether or not to attend and how to convey this to DH. The ceremony will take place from 1-4 pm. LOs will not stay in one place the entire time - especially Toddler. Neither of my parents are attending (they are disgusted by SD18s behaviors as well as DHs, and are concerned that they will speak out of turn when it comes to BIL.... so they have respectfully declined and will send SD a small gift.)
But can I really not go? SD will have no clue whether LOs and I are there, but surely someone will mention it. And as a matter of principle, do I need to be there? If I do go, I will need to get a sitter for the LOs and right now, I don't have one lined up. If I bring the LOs, one will be in a carriage, and the other will maybe last an hour, possibly more if I bring an IPad and headphones. And as usual, I will be the one chasing Toddler around a crowded arena.
Bottom line is that I have no desire to attend. But believe that I should as its the "right" thing to do.