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Genius SS won't stop boasting

TheLadyTremaine's picture

The skid weekend is fast approaching and I was curious how you all would handle this situation...

SS14 has the life skills of a 6 year old (can't pair his own socks or make himself a sandwich for christ sake!) His grades are consistently C's and on standardized testing he does proficient or below. I had never met a kid with absolutely no life interests until I met SS. He loves to tell us little "facts" about politics, science, culture, religion, etc. that are just not true. For instance, he went off one day about how El Salvador is the most liberal South American country and thats why its terrible there. El Salvador is extremely conservative and he has no idea what its like there. Even his disney daddy is concerned he will never hold a real job. He is the youngest racist, sexist, bigoted homophobe I know.

A few years ago, due to falling behind in school, BM had him tested. There were numerous tests of all kinds with nothing significant woman did a 10 minute evaluation and decided that he has a high IQ. FML

Now I've been hearing about his high IQ EVERY OTHER WEEKEND since! He has never missed a chance to bring it up, sometimes more than once over the weekend. Both his father and I ignore it. Now he thinks he needs to say it louder.

Ignoring is not working and my eyes are going to roll right out of my head. I can no longer bite my tongue but I don't want to say something completely unplanned and therefor possibly inappropriate or mean. I just don't want to hear his ridiculous boasting. Also, his sister is actually smart and she thinks he's the smart one. For once I feel bad for her.

Please tell me what to say or do before I lose it!

TheLadyTremaine's picture

I have a degree in psychology and work with kids, including some special needs kids who probably do have very high IQs. I realize that young boys especially like to boast and that intelligence isn't always immediately obvious. I'm just having a hard time after 4 years of hearing this same thing said over and over again. I won't make it another decade without saying something. I wish one of the parents would say something about how truly smart people don't have to talk about it all of the time but DH is afraid of hurting his feelings and his mother thinks he's the chosen one.

When he started with the gay bashing, racist stuff a few years ago I did try to teach him by appealing to logic, watching applicable movies and also just flat out saying that that type of talk was unacceptable in our home. Afterwards, he went home and told his BM that I hate boys, because obviously being a boy means you dislike anyone not white, straight and male (which is extra funny because SS isn't white himself). I've since completely disengaged. I realize that with BM whispering in his ear about how evil I am and his father undermining me, this is an uphill battle I do not wish to fight. This boy is so rude I just try to have as little interaction as possible. Even still I hear the phrase "high IQ" at least once/weekend.

I'd like to say something clever that will make him reflect and stop without crushing his soul.

TheLadyTremaine's picture

All true

ChiefGrownup's picture

Afraid of hurting his feelings? Your DH needs to be reminded that Dads are there to teach boys how to be men. Men don't look for ways to hurt and demean others -- they look for ways to use their strength to help others, to make this a better world.

Dad's job is to teach. He needs to teach the boy. Feelings don't even enter into it. If Dad doesn't speak up, boy will just assume Dad approves of all this crapola and why on earth would he not assume that?

Jsmom's picture

You need to call his bluff. If he is so smart, he needs to get the grades that show it, otherwise, he will be the smartest kid working the drive-thru, while all his dumb friends have great jobs. Keep repeating that to him.

I raised a brilliant child and let me tell you, he was lazy as could be, but I reminded him of this all the time and he knew he was given that gift and it was up to him to use it or he was wasting it.

TheLadyTremaine's picture

"he will be the smartest kid working the drive-thru, while all his dumb friends have great jobs."

YES! He talks a lot about how he's going to be rich (never about how he'll get there). I'm thinking of saying this but maybe a little nicer.

He really could have been a very normal teen but he has been so coddled, spoiled, babied, etc. that he has no positive future right now. BM can't even get him to school. Last year they were absent 20+ full days and late another 30! He isn't capable of basic self care which is terrifying. I've already made DH promise that he can't live here when he's 18.

In all seriousness, congrats on the brilliant lazy kid!! I'm a bit jealous.

Jsmom's picture

You don't have to be mean, just factual. I have found that raising kids, honesty is the best reality. I love my son, but I am honest as hell with him. I think part of our problem with these Disney kids that get a trophy for everything is no one is honest with them.

About 3 years ago, my son asked to do Soccer again as a Junior. We had been doing it for years and honestly the kid was not good. He was never going to use the sport and he was working on Eagle and Science Olympiad and Beta Club and Spanish Club. So my comment, was "No, look I love you, but honestly you are not going to get a Soccer scholarship and no one is going to give you an award for fastest runner. I love you, but Soccer is not what you need to do anymore. I am calling it. He was hurt, but has since told me, that he was glad I was honest with him, since the coaches never were. Sometimes, they need the truth. Never has to be mean, but honest never hurt. At 19, his focus is where it should be and that is in the lab at school replicating DNA and getting published. Not with his friends playing intra-mural sports or going to the gym twice a day because they need to get the alcohol out of their systems. He sees an end game, but that is only because his mom has been honest about everything and there is a reason he calls me every day...I am the voice of reason and he bounces everything off of me and plus I pay for everything.

We are not doing these kids any favors by just nodding at them when they are dreaming about things that can never be a reality.

TheLadyTremaine's picture

"We are not doing these kids any favors by just nodding at them when they are dreaming about things that can never be a reality."

If only DH agreed!

Evil stepmonster's picture

Do yall watch GOT? If so, tell him A king who goes around yelling that he is king is no real king.

TheLadyTremaine's picture

You guys crack me up. Just being able to laugh makes the whole thing seems smaller. Thank you!

Rags's picture

"You know SS, people with a high IQ who do poorly in school are nothing special. In fact most people would call that lazy and stupid. So before you go on about your high IQ you might want to start doing a whole lot better on your grades. Or does that not make sense to your obviosly superior brain?"