Game on Skids!
The clothes issue has been a constant problem with skids as long as I have been around. You know the usual problems like she sends them in too small or too trashy clothes but forgets to send back the nice clothes or even coats that came from our house. They know they are supposed to change back into the exact clothes (excepts socks and underwear) they can in from BM's. We have explained that we don't want to pay child support, buy clothes for our house, and buy it for BM's as well.
Slowly, the clothes from our house have been disappearing. And when looking at skids fb they are wearing all of the clothes at BM's house. They leave in the exact same outfit so how can this be? The only way I can figure is that they are sneaking them out in their school bags.
I had already had an incident where I gave away most of their name brands only leaving basics because they were acting like jerks and talking about me so now they really have no clothes here at all.
Fast forward to Christmas presents and lists of "fun items" coming our way. Nope! You are getting clothes for Christmas. Two can play at this game. They will get clothes for our house for every occasion from now on. Try me skids. I'm over this.
It's their school bags they
It's their school bags they bring. And I will now only shop from goodwill:)
We had to search SD's bags.
We had to search SD's bags. She kept taking personal products. BM made a good living and their was not CS and she was a pharmacist and worked in a pharmacy, you can't buy your own kid decent shampoo or shaving stuff? I flipped out when I caught SD sneaking in and stealing all the stuff we had just bought her.
Just search the bags...
Has it occurred to you that
Has it occurred to you that the kids want the stuff at their moms so they can wear nice clothes to school? Do you think that holding them hostage at your house where they sit unworn is doing skids any favors? Nor will it make bm buy them clothes. If she is doing this on purpose it will CERTAINLY not move her to act in the best interest of the children. I could understand if bm were selling the clothes and taking the money, but the clothes are for the skids and they are wearing them. I don't understand the problem. If they don't wear them to your house or bring them back, they wear crap on the weekends. Remove bm out of the picture. Tell the girls that if clothes don't come back, they will wear the crap they came in all weekend and then have dad take them to the mall and stuff. They will bring the clothes back. You just have to let them walk 10 steps ahead or behind you for a few weeks until they realize he won't keep buying them new clothes.
It would make sense if they
It would make sense if they didn't have any nice clothes there, but they do. She chooses to send them stuff that looks bad. She isn't poor, she just likes us to do more so that she can do less. We have had a coat issue every year, last year I bought 2 exact same coats for each skid, they BOTH ended up at BM's and they went without at our house.
We struggled with this for
We struggled with this for years. Not that SS would take stuff for the purposes of not bringing it back, but, the Sperm Clan would grouse about his nice name brand quality clothing that he "did not need, its too nice" and "it is not fair that you have nice things and your sister and brother's don't" because "our CS pays for that stuff and since we pay CS we can't buy it for them" so the Skid would come home in dollar store and Walmart wear and his good stuff would somehow not make it home.
The next year one or more of the three younger also out of wedlock Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs by two more baby mamas would show up in the Sperm Clan family photos is the SKid's clothes. We would ask and they would either ignore us or laugh it off as he is a kid and lost it. So, we started taking an inventory of everything and putting it on a form with thumbnail pics, prices and putting it in an envelope with a note informing Sperm GrandHag that anything that was not returned would be billed to them along with the quarterly statement of their growing not yet paid half of the med bills not covered by insurance. That embarrassed her and mortified her and never again was anything missing.
The truly pathetic thing is that when the Skid got into his mid teens the clothes started disappearing again. The next year they would show up in a family pic on .... the Sperm Idiot!!!
One Spring break visitation they had a cold snap in Sperm Land and SPerm GrandHag put SS then ~6 in her ancient pink ski parka. That went to Goodwill just about as soon as it came home with the Skid. That summer the Hag called asking for us to return .... the baby car seat she and given DW when SS was a baby and the pink parka. Ha!! Like that would happen. It would have cost us more to send the car seat than it would to replace it with a new one even if we hadn't sent it to Goodwill years before.