First time here...
Hi, just found this blog. I have read so many posts and feel so much better!! It is the old "misery loves company" thing. I am a 53 year old woman who was single until I hit 49...first marraige for me, no kids. Until I got married I was a single woman, lots of friends, lots of travel and owned my own condo. Many things in my life started to change when I hit 49 (including my father being diagnosed with cancer and lived 2 months and my mother's dementia going off the rails) that made me realize I wanted a life partner...I met my DH and he had fulled custody of his 14 year old. His BM lived far away and gave little if any CS. SS went to see a few times a year...easy peasy...I sold my condo and moved into his home (was his childhood home mother had passed). It was a great opportunity for SS to go to school where DH did. Fast foward, have been married 2 1/2 years. Of those years DH has been unemployed almost half of it. I make very good money and am now paying all the bills. This is not my home. SS has been nothing but polite to me. He is ridiculously spoiled. He is also addicted to video games. It is not unusual for him to come home from school and play games until 10pm and then NON STOP all weekend. He is part of all kinds of teams and apparently is very good. He gets great grades and is in all advanced classed at HS and played varsity Lacrosse. He has started getting college acceptances.
The kid has never ever worked a day of his life. I have asked for him to get jobs over the summer of his sophomore and junior years. I have gotten him jobs, but always an excuse (hurt my leg I can't lifeguard, they won't call me back, blah blah). Obvious he does not and will not work. DH starts out tough but always completely caves. This kid gets every single thing he wants, has my DH car every day for school, gets food made for him, etc. I pay for the house to be cleaned 2x a month (4 animials). I am at my end of my rope. In 2 weeks he will be 18. Starting 6 months ago I told my DH that I expected when he turned 18 to have a part time job during the end of school and then full time during the summer until he went to college. Here we are, regardless of me sending "job openings" to DH and SS, nothing. I find myself a chump. I have told my husband over and over that is NOT what I had envisioned for my future. We can't move to a new home (I hate this house, but have put up wiht it for 2 years so SS can go to local HS), DH has no job. And when we can, I fear that this kid will either 1. Go to college and drop out, or 2. Finish college and live in the basement playing games all day.
I feel like I need to cut and run. Sorry this is so long. I love my DH but I feel absolutely disrespected with this entire situation. I have made all the sacrifices and only asking for the SS to get a job, show so work ethic and become an adult. Am I asking too too much?