First day back to school after vacation and already got a phone call
Aside from SD13's table manner problems, we have problems with SS13's hygiene. Well, both of them can be bad, but SS13 is the worse of the two.
BM had a meeting in early December at the school which she conveniently forgot to tell BF about so he wasn't there. At it was yet another discussion about SS13 being dirty, dirty clothes, smelling, bad breath, etc.
BF finds this out afterward so he called himself to find out why he wasn't notified of the meeting. He set up another meeting with just he and I and the school.
Well, kind of glad we did this because we found out that they're well aware of BM's problems and know that she's not doing what she should be. They asked her to send deodorant in for SS to use but in the three weeks since she'd been there, she hadn't gotten around to it yet. We promised to bring in a bag of hygiene items when school resumed as our meeting was on the last day of school before break. They also told us that BM's boyfriend was going to be confiscating his clothes each night when he went to bed so they wouldn't be reworn. I told them he wasn't going to do it, it's just another in a long line of promises he makes but doesn't keep.
Over break, skids come to stay the weekend and SS13 forgets to pick up his clothes from the bathroom/laundry room and leaves without them. It's our second bathroom that has the washer/dryer on the lower floor of the house. We had just done laundry on Saturday so I didn't see it until Monday night. They were all dirty and the lower pant legs were caked with dirt! I called BF in to look and he was disgusted too. He decides he's going to wash them and gets them ready by emptying the pockets. Several pieces of folded up paper were in there. I stopped him and unfolded the papers. Each one was a pass of some sort for school. Guidance, nurse, etc. The earliest one was from three weeks earlier! None of these papers had been washed and dried in the pants. This means he did not wash those pants for at LEAST three weeks... and those dates are after BM and her boyfriend promised to make sure he was better. (note, we still have the clothes, we didn't drop them off yet.)
Fast forward to today. BF has to be at work early and with the traffic jams from the snow he doesn't have time to drop off the hygiene bag at the school. We bought about everything you can think of and loaded that thing up for them. He gets notified around lunchtime that SS13, on the first day back after break, is wearing dirty clothes, isn't showered, smells and has dandruff all over his head. (I guess BM never got around to buying dandruff shampoo yet either) Of note, they said the pants were especially dirty. These are different pants from the ones we found caked with dirt as we washed those and still have them.
I wasn't at work today so I ran up with the hygiene bag and spoke with the counselor. I told her about the clothes we found, the papers and the fact that my BF just had a conversation with BM three days ago about the clothes not being washed! They're reluctant to call child welfare on BM, but they see him more than we do so they should be calling, not us. Don't they realize if we call and child welfare visits them, they're going to have to admit they knew about this and didn't report it? They are mandated reporters! We do have e-mails regarding it and it's in the reports so they can't deny it.
They told us SS13 has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I wonder how much of it is SS being lazy and how much is him not doing it because he's been told he has to do it. Grrrr...this sucks!