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Fiance doesnt get it!!

Calypso1977's picture

So back before i disengaged i received an invitation to fiance's cousin's wedding shower. it happens to be this weekend and we have SD and i knew this when i received the invite. I texted her at the time to invite her to go with me thinking it might be a nice activity to do together, particuarly knowing she behaves around me becuase she knows i dont take her shit.

she refused to reply to my text.

i waited 3 days, then texted her again saying "given that you could not give me the courtesy of a reply, i will make the decision for you and i will go to the shower alone". i inform fiance of this and he was like "that's fine, she probably didnt want to go anyway"

so last night he says to me "so are you taking SD to the shower on Saturday?" And i said "i told you i wasnt because she was rude and didnt give me a reply, and i already RSVP'd for 1 person only". and then he said "so what if she comes saturday asking to go, or what if her cousin is going and she gets upset that she cant go". i said right to him, "dont you freakin' know me by now? when it comes to SD, i make a decision and i stick with it. i dont let her beg and whine and attempt to get me to change my mind".

she wont dare beg to me tomorrow - she knows better. but i betcha she acts like a douche about it to fiance - too bad, his kid, his problem and i basically told him that.

honestly, i wish id invited SD's cousin to go with me - she is a delightful child who id kill to have as my SD - and that would have really rubbed SD the wrong way. lol

Calypso1977's picture

haha, you know it.

im hoping she will be gone before i get home. my mom is coming on Sunday and i really dont want SD around. watch this be the one freakin' weeked she finally decides shes "ready" to sleepover. i saw a text she sent fiance where he was like "you are sleeping over this weekend" and she said "waaahh, i want to talk to my therapist about it first...." just like her mother who cant make any decisions on her own. but of course this isnt even SD's decision to make but her dumbass parents let her dictate. if she were my kid, she'd be getting picked up at 8 and not returned until 6pm sunday, and if she didnt bring PJ's or clean clothes and homework too freakin' bad.

ncgal1980's picture

My skids know that DH's "final" word is NEVER final. As long as they nag and whine, they can always make him change his mind and go with whatever the skids want him to do.

He HATES that I don't allow that, not from my own kids and certainly not from the skids. When I say "No means NO!" to his kids, he tries to pull the old tried-and-true "You hate my kids!" crap. I told him I don't hate them, but I'll be damned if they're going to bully me into changing my mind once I've given them an answer. He despises that.

SS9 was invited to a skating party this Saturday and said he didn't want to go, so we made other plans for the day. DH asked SS9 repeatedly if he was sure he didn't want to go, because if not, we were all going to the zoo on Saturday. SS9 said repeatedly that he was okay with that and still didn't want to go to the skating party Saturday.

Out of nowhere last night, SS9 announced that he would be going to the skating party after all, and would need DH to go buy a present for him to take AND be available to drive him there, which if DH decided to do this would throw a monkey wrench in our plans for all of us to go to the zoo Saturday. DH tried halfheartedly to say "No, I told you what our plans are now, so you're not going to the party. You said you didn't want to go, so no, you're not going."

As I knew it would, all it took was SS9 screaming and crying about how "mean" and "unfair" DH was being, and before you know it, DH was apologizing and saying, yes, he'd change our plans and take him to the damn skating party. Then they left to go to Target to buy a present.

I swear to GOD this man is never going to learn. It burns me UP!

Calypso1977's picture

that happened with SD about 6 months ago. she was invited to a bar mitzvah and said she wanted to go. she RSVP'd to an expensive, catered party where headcount mattered. then said she didnt want to go. BM and fiance let her get out of it which i thought was an awful lesson in manners. then the day comes and she shows up at our house crying hysterically becuase she wanted to go afterall!!!! at that point, she was too late, missed the rides, etc. but wtf!?!

but how are these kids supposed to learn that when you make a decision you stick to it. their parents never do!!!!!!