You are here

Dropping Out Of High School

TiredMan's picture

What are everyone's thoughts on a stepchild dropping out of high school at 16 years old or so? My idea is that it's okay if there is a GED that's obtained during a summer and/or there's a job being done that can cover some of their bills. Obviously, it's going to cost more to take care of a grown person that is home more often so the only thing that I'll agree to is a situation like that.

Would you agree to it if there were guidelines? I figure if there is a chance that it gets the kid into working and being more responsible, then there's no problem. But if it turns into a long vacation and makes them more lazy, it's basically setting them up for failure.

twoviewpoints's picture

Unfortunately you get no say. If Mom hauls Sd down and signs her out, i's said and done.

Reading a couple of your past forum post, I seriously doubt this kid is going to start working nor pay any of her own expenses if she does. You're looking at a teen with more time to do only what she pleases and a mother who will support that choice.

In my state, your SD could not take the GED test at sixteen just off the street. She has to take a pre-test to see if she a ready for a GED test and she also has to be able to pass the Constitution and US History test separately and also any other documented proof of met requirements.

She quits, she may end up not really out of high school, but instead out at the local community college taking GED prep classes. Kinda defeats her goal of not attending classes and being free to do as she pleases.

I predict your SD will quit with Mom's blessings and then not be able to complete the GED due to not meeting requirements or having to wait until she's 18 and not finish it then.

notsobad's picture

I think it's dumb to let a 16 year old drop out. Any job they get will only be min wage and if they aren't working part time now, why would they start simply because they aren't in school?

However I doubt you'll be able to stop them if the other parent is on board and let's them do it.

I'm wondering if CS would stop? If the skid isn't is school and the parent collecting the CS is the one who signed them out isn't that an emancipation event?

Acratopotes's picture

I will never allow any kid dropping out of high school.... my own tried he, well he did not succeed and completed high school with very good grades,

If skid tells us she's dropping out I will tell SO, 2 options, either you get her back in school or we are over...

TiredMan's picture

In my case the kid isn't easier to take care of it they don't go to school. Seriously, having that kid home is like having a roommate that doesn't do anything but cling to mommy, eat, or talk about stuff a little kid would talk about.

hereiam's picture

I figure if there is a chance that it gets the kid into working and being more responsible, then there's no problem.

The problem is, kid is not even responsible enough to finish high school, so...

Monchichi's picture

I dropped out of school at 17. I am now a commercial manager in corporate ICT sector. Don't assume the worst.

Acratopotes's picture

college degree/university degree means shyt in Africa,,,, it's who you know that counts

hereiam's picture

There are exceptions in every situation. It wouldn't be a chance I'd be willing to take with my kid (if I had one).

I think the age is still 16 where I live, which I completely disagree with. If a parent is legally responsible for their kid until 18, kid should not be able to make the choice to drop out before then. If kid can prove the same requirements needed for emancipation, then fine, emancipate (and live independently) otherwise, their ass should stay in school until they are a legal adult.

Stepped in what momma's picture

There used to be programs that would allow kids to home school themselves and obtain a normal diploma. I can't remember the name of it, something Obama set up, my brother used it after my mother died, he finished high school from home but actually received a diploma, not a GED.

ForArtsSake's picture

Could the kid not finish high school, then go on to a trade school? Or do they have any high schools that allow kids to go half-days to a trade school and half at high school, so they can get their HS Diploma and come out of HS with a trade certification and ready for work? I know they have one or two around here like that, but not sure what your area is like.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Do not agree to allow this kid to drop out of high school. That is like swiveling a rocket launcher around to point at you.

Instead of launching a rocket into a beautiful high arc and eventually hitting its mark, making a successful mission, you have a lethal projectile exploding in your face.

A 16 year old dropout could probably find more or less full time work picking strawberries but not much else. Most employers will offer part-time jobs to ungraduated teens but fully expect that they will get their diplomas. Once they hit 18/19/20 they are unlikely to get full time jobs at any burger place unless it's a mom and pop run by their uncle. Corporate McDonald's and Taco Bell etc want people who demonstrate responsibility.

So for the rest of his life this boy may be unable to find full time employment anywhere unless he becomes a migrant farm worker. How is that going to work out for YOU? Keep reading on the adult skid forum and you'll find out.

So tell your wife under no circumstances will you agree to it and if he does drop out she better be prepared to find him other accommodations. You have to motivate your wife to motivate her kid.

I told my dh that about 2 years ago and he agreed. He didn't think it would come to that. But now we are on pins and needles as to whether she'll make it this last semester of her senior year. If she doesn't, SD will live with her mom and not here starting with her 18th birthday and she can fail all she wants to from there.

Rags's picture

Once a kid either graduates from HS or drops out their presence in the home is on a day to day basis IMHO.

I for one would not allow a 16yo dropout, or one of any age for that matter, to remain in my home. I would immediately call a locksmith to rekey the locks and initiate force legal emancipation on the kid.

If he wants to play adult he can experience the adult consequence's of his supposedly adult decisions.

When my SS was 17 he brain farted and nearly flunked out of HS. His mom and I took him to spend a few hours in the winter homeless camp under the interstate in Philly and gave him the message that we either attended his graduation on time or we dropped him off with his new neighbors. It scared the shit out of the kid and he busted his hump to recover his grades and graduate on time. He even graduated with honors. We had a few months after he turned 18 (he graduated at 17) that we spent teaching him that decisions have consequences and housing, food, clothes, etc... are not free. He decided not to go to college or a trade school and he chose not to get a job. So we worked his ass off as our live in unpaid house servant. That experience motivated him to enlist in the USAF and he will finish his first 6yr commitment next week. He has re-enlisted for 4 more years and is progressing toward his BSCS though certainly not as rapidly as his mom and I would like. His stated goal is to finish his degree, complete 20 years, retire from the USAF, then engage a private sector career. There was a time when I did not think we would get him raised to viable adulthood. His mom and I and the rest of the family are very proud of the young man he has become.

Rather than facilitate your Skids's decision to drop out at 16, which is the failure point IMHO, I would go for some tough love and clearly demonstrate what the Skid will be facing if the Skid in fact does drop out.

To continue to parent I would drag him through an investigation of trade apprenticeship programs and make sure that he has no access to mobile phones, internet, or video games as long as he is in the family home. If he isn't listening and learning then it is time for him to feel. Bring the feel.

Good luck.