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Doesn't look like SD is going back to her BM anytime soon

Anonomommy's picture

Hi all. As some may know my SD moved in with us ( hubby and my 2 boys 10,13 ) about a month ago after lying to her mom and social services about a fake pregnancy and fake allegations of physical abuse from her BM. My husband came running to save the day. It has been pure hell having her in my home altering my children's and my schedules around SD. I now have refused to take or pick her up from school as the school is over 20 min from our house. I told my husband that she needs to transfer school districts and ride the bu if she's living here. SD refuses so daddy has been driving her now leaving work to do so. SD is getting license soon so she can drive herself but is that a good solution! I think not. I'm sick and tired of bending backwards and doing more for her than my own. Social services okayed BM but SD won't face her and I don't think BM really wants to deal with her lying and manipulating all the time. SD boyfriend is bad news BM wanted him out if the pic but daddy lets him round. Well daddy is seeing why BM didn't want bf around. But daddy doesn't want to say anything to her. It's like he's afraid of his kids and his x.The bf's a looser. I just think that SD will abuse driving privileges and will sneak to see bf. SD does work 10 hrs a wk but whines to quit job. She's had 4 dif jobs in a yr in a half! The list goes on and on. Bottom line is I don't want her living here and husband days she has jut as much right here as anyone of us! My husband bends over backwards to meet her every whim getting drinks making plates etc. SD doesn't do a thing around the house at all. I'm just sick of it all and I have told him. I don't know what els to do.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I know the feeling! BM sent SD14 to us because she couldn't deal with her any longer...the lies, sneaking out, skipping school, smoking pot, etc. She walks around this house like she is entitled and everyone is supposed to worship her, and if we don't she is a total b***h to us. DH is finally seeing how she is, but like you said...it's like he is afraid of her and BM, because whenever SD14 doesn't get her way, she whines to BM, and BM will call cussing DH out. Then, DH takes it out on me...I need to find the money to get SD14 that whatever it is she wants now. I've been telling him no way, no how! I don't care how much BM screams! The woman does not pay a penny in child support or anything else. I told DH flat out...as long as the woman doesn't pay child support, she has no say at all what is bought for SD14 as long as her basic needs are met...which they are! Extras are just that...extras! She doesn't NEED makeup, excess clothing, hair color, electronics she will only break, band trips, and to tell the truth, she doesn't NEED braces as her issue is ONLY cosmetic...gaps does not cause pain while eating or excessive tooth wear!

I've started living like she is simply a tenant, and DH is my contact with regards to her! I expect that she will not trash my home, and if SD14 does not pick up after herself, I will express my dissatisfaction to DH. The deposit for the band trip is due Friday, and I'm not finding money for it! Already told DH as such...just flat out said that there wasn't money in the budget for the trip. From now on, that is my answer, because as far as I'm concerned, there isn't money in the budget for the extras! DH's income is maxed out with his share of the bills, his personal bills, and his gas and food when he goes to work. He has none left...all excess is from my income, and I'm done paying for her extras only to have her treat me like crap without any gratitude in the world for anything!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I'm sure things are getting ready to hit the fan after the weekend...when Monday comes around and that deposit hasn't been paid. SD14 REALLY WANTS TO GO! I don't care! My son REALLY NEEDS to go to college, and that is my first priority over her! He is at least grateful...has been thanking me every day since his signing for helping him get recruited! It's kinda cute this big, tough 19 year old young man hugging his little mom all the time because he is so grateful to be getting his dream! If SD14 showed at least half that gratitude for anything anyone did for her, it would be a completely different story.

Anonomommy's picture

From the moment I met husbands daughters I have not been able to stand them. Been married 10 yrs have 10,13 son and 17,20 stepdaughter so they were still young when I met them and have always hated me and I them. They act like their mother snotty and rude all the time. These kids think they were born special. My husband will never take my side. He sees no wrong in anything his girls do. He is afraid of them and his x. Now SD 17 lives here bc shes lies to her mom and to everyone and her daddy is "saving" her. Said she was preg told social services mom beats her. All lies! I know BM she does not abuse her children. I'm sick of my life being interrupted by her. I feel terrible about the way I feel towards SDs. I have tried for years to like and get along with them. They always stab me in the back. Need advice!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

First of all...don't feel terrible! You shouldn't have to like someone who treats you like crap...you don't even have to respect them!