Hi all,

I am seeking validation of some sorts to see if I could have handled things differently?

I recently moved countries to be with a woman, I sorted out apartment/car etc as she has two children aged 8 and 11 (boy and girl)..we had the children every other week as the children went back to their father.  The father just let the kids do anything, stay up late, eat/take whatever they wanted from the fridge,demand what they had for dinner etc, not tidy up.....when we had the kids I tried (as a role model) to establish some basic ground rules for them...my girlfriend insisted that the kids should go to bed at 9pm on school nights and 10-11pm on weekends, I thought this was too late but was overidden, we did manage to establish a rule about taking things from the fridge but whenever my partner went into another room they just snuck in and took whatever they wanted.  Then they started to demand that my girlfriend went with them to bed so they could get to sleep...this meant that me and my girlfriend had no time together as she went straight to sleep and then up for the morning routine with the kids.  I had to travel back to the UK once a month for work (for about 10 days) and when I did the kids moved back into their mums bedroom to sleep until I returned home, when I got home the apartment was in bedlam...washing up everywhere, a general mess, kids refusing to go to sleep (as she allowed them to stay up later).

We had one moment where we were due to fly to the Mauritius for a holiday (it was our first and I paid for all of it), the children played up all week saying they were scared that she was going away, they spent the entire time crying, we had an argument about it at the end of the week (I told her that they should be able to cope) and she left to go back to her parents, we missed the flights and the holiday.

Then she would not tell them if we were going away for the weekend as it would upset them, that they were not there.

Both kids are extremely entitled and if I tried to cuddle or show affection to my girlfriend the kids always interuppted, plus they could not play on their own so demanded her attention all the time.

Although we had a week where the kids were not with us the overall problems started to cause major problems and arguments, I asked my girlfriend to address the problems above but she refused and said I am not a parent so I don't know.  I appreciate that due to the breakup with the kids that she wanted to be there for them but honestly they were so demanding of her time and she was feeling guilty (overcompensation) that I just plain felt invisible when they were around.

The final straw was when we took them to Austria, the minute we got there the boy threw his skis on the ground, started wailing and then said what a bad mum she was and why was he having to follow orders (carry his skis), my girlfriend then burst into tears and her daughter was consoling her (as she jumped in the way of me) - this set the tone for the entire holiday...a few days later I went to move the car and my girlfriend was following later, I saw her coming down the slopes with her daughters snowboard, her skis and her sons skis - she then proceeded to have an argument with me that I should have helped her carry all this stuff - I said the kids should be carrying their own...anyways half an hour later she was treating them all to dinner in a restaurant.

Long story - short ending, I finished the relationship - I could not deal with the mum always pandering to her two demanding kids, I felt my mental health and self esteem suffering (I did not feel the priority (and yes I know the kids are a priority) in our relationship.  I can understand the mother/children relationship but this was too extreme as my girlfriend did not place my needs into the mix as well and the let downs on the holiday/not telling the kids about us etc just killed it.

Did I make the right choice or should I have stuck in out?