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DIary - to read or not to read

going_to_kill_someone's picture

I found it, it was't hidden. Just on her bed. After I realised what it was I felt terrible so put it away. left her room in a rush with the shame. then got to thinking SD15 gad been so secretive. Maybe I should look into it to gain some insight but also am terrified finding out things are hard not to respond to.

Given my heartbreak when she told me she hated me and all her family and friends, I am not going to get over what she might have written about me. Or... there might me certain things that I could find that needs immediate response (like sex/pregnancy/drugs) it is very unlikely that she does that type of stuff but what do I know.

I have never been tactical or patient so it would be very difficult for me to hide the facts.

What would you do?

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I agree- she WANTS you to see it. She probably wrote some really heinous things about you and is hoping you'll tell her father. She wants you to be busted for reading her diary. Don't.

I was a 15-year-old girl with a diary. I NEVER would've "accidentally" left it out. Just sayin'.

tiny kitten's picture

Absolutely would not do it. I was a writer as a teenager. I would have been absolutely mortified if someone read my fiction without permission, let alone a diary. As a stepmother I can't deny I'd be curious, but I would not read it.

legmel's picture

My eldest SD22 moved out on the 3rd day of living with us. All her personal stuff were left behind. She is bi-polar and border-line reading through her dairies (these were when she was 15y) was a real eye-opener to me? I will never ever let my husband know that I had read it, but it gave me perspective on why she was reacting the way she was. She had been drinking and smoking pot at 15y already, something my DH will never ever admit to. There was never going to be a relationship of any kind between me and her when I read it - so it didn't really matter. I am also not patient - so if you are not able to keep quiet about anything you might read then rather not.

Drac0's picture

I used to keep a journal as a teen, so I have some personal experience with this.

Do not read it. If she was posting stuff on-line (like on FB) that would be a different story but a private diary should be kept private.

Cover1W's picture

I would personally ignore it, throw it back into her room onto her bed with other things she's got laying around.

I *have* however, read some of the emails SD11 was sending; this involves other people/kids and an electronic device that is supposed to only be used for school-related activities (see, I don't buy into DP's bubble of security "she won't do that"). She left it open on her bed and logged in. She leaves it this way frequently so I know it wasn't a set up. She recently had been causing some issues for me directly and lo and behold, guess who the ring-leader was? You guessed it, SD11! She's really good at sending emails to her friends badmouthing people. Not just me but some of her peers. I can't even begin to imagine what the content of her texts are (she did get into trouble once with DP about that; she had sent a text to him that was completely over-the-top rude. He was Shocked! Shocked! At her attitude. I just looked at him and said, "I am not surprised in the least.").

I haven't yet told DP as he's against any kind of "electronics monitoring" - but you can bet I am filing that information away.

going_to_kill_someone's picture

Ok, left it where it is. And this morning it is still there.
Part of me still wants to believe that she doesn't hate me. But the other part is terrified to be informed of the extent of her hatred.

I used to check her twitter but she now blocked me from it and protected her tweets, as once I had to call her on what she wrote about me.