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DH moved SD19's bed to the BASEMENT!!!!!!!!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Previous post.....

I have to really thank TWOVIEWPOINTS for her input in that last post. I sold the idea to DH, he was hesitant, I persisted and it WORKED! OMFG it worked! SD19 isn't even home from college yet and her bed was taken apart, carried downstairs by DH and put back together. SD13 is going to wash her sheets this week for SD19 and make her bed. }:) I helped clean a lot, but mainly directed traffic and kept DH and SD13 moving on this plan. Just in the nick of time.

This morning DH tells me I have to drive him 30 minutes away to get his car from the shop. Because he forgot to get it last weekend and drove his truck all week. LOL PERFECT time to bring up SD19 moving to the basement. A thirty minute car ride where he can't walk away from me lol!

About ten minutes into our drive, I start with my "talk."

"......DH you know I don't want that HHog coming into my home, and we have argued every weekend about it for months. You basically TOLD me that it will be here and that there's no other choice. Even in my own home, I have no other choice, because you don't want to hear SD19 bitch and complain, and you want HER to be happy. Instead, you've chosen to let ME bitch and complain and be UNhappy in my own home. We have beaten a dead horse EVERY weekend with me telling you NO and you have still chosen to do your own thing, in the interest of SD19, and not ME, your wife. So here's what I think we should do. You have no room in your closet, so you moved things into SD19's closet. She's coming home and she never has enough room as it is, so you moved your things from SD19's closet to SD13's closet. We have a big house yet we have no room (because DH is a clutterbug and can't get his shit together). SD19 can have the basement and use the small storage room as her closet. She'll have her own bathroom down there to do her hair and make-up (and let her own trash overflow). SD13 will keep the bathroom upstairs, but will share the shower with SD19. That is all SD19 will do upstairs is maybe use her old room for storage and shower in SD13's bathroom."

DH said, "And it won't be hot down there in the basement, either."

I explained that SD13 could go down there and hang out with her big sis, HHog could be in the part of the basement where it's dark and behind closed doors, safe from the dogs. All SD19 would have to do is make sure she keeps the door to the basement OPEN when she leaves during the day, so the pups can get to the dog door. She'll also have to keep her bathroom door shut so the dogs don't tear through her trash. SD19 could handwash her delicates in the utility sink and hang them up to dry if she wants. SHe'll have plenty of room. SD19 could keep all of the HHog supplies down in the basement, too, so she isn't going from her old upstairs room to the garage when it's time to clean the cage. Hell, she can even BATHE the HHog in the utility sink. LOL

I did all but tell DH I didn't even want to know the HHog was here. I will tell him that tonight. As soon as DH got back with his car, he headed straight for the basement! Biggrin Joy to the WORLD! I already had the furniture sliders ready. Blum 3 DH had said during our ride, "We'll have to see if this will work and if the bed will fit." I told him, "It WILL work. I'll make sure it will. A HHog is coming into my home against my will. THIS WILL WORK." I gave him the crazy eye shit right then, too!

DH tried the old, "You just want to be separated as much as possible from SD19!" Damn straight, I do, DH, but I didn't say that. She's a toxic brat and she's bringing a helpless rodent into a house with four large dogs. Instead I listed all of the Pros about having SD19 in the basement. I told him if, at age 19, my parents gave me an ENTIRE basement with a sectional, a HUGE TV and most of all room and privacy, I would have been elated!

Funny thing is, SD13, DH and I went down there to clean and vacuum and the basement looked like shit. DH and SD13 hadn't dusted down there, hadn't straightened out the mats the dogs ran in on, hadn't vacuumed...IN MONTHS, and DH had just told SD13 to PICK UP the commercial floor mats and LAY them ON the sectional sofa!!! This was because they were filthy and he wanted to get rid of them! WELL, if you had SD13 actually use the vacuum the right way every weekend and FOLLOW-UP to check her work that was done, then MAYBE the mats wouldn't be filthy!! So when I went down there, the mats had dropped grass and dirt all over the sofa. DH is a dumbass. So, I vacuumed off the sofa nd I had SD13 WIPE THE STAIRWELL WALLS where the pups had come in covered with mud! (Oh this was the best day!!) I agreed to let a tile guy come in and give us an estimate this week at DH's urging. I explained that even tile needed to be cleaned. You can't just forget about it when there are 5 dogs in the basement. We're going to pull up the pee-spotted Berber carpet and put heavy duty vinyl tile down there. AFTER SD19 returns to school. }:) }:) }:) She gets the pee-stained carpet in the meantime. }:) Fitting for a spoiled brat like her. DH even had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't go into the basement anymore during thunderstorms because it would now be SD19's area. Bullshit lol! She is in the finished part of the basement on one side. I always go to the UNfinished side of the basement, where it's underground, on the other side, if the storms get really strong. I pay the mortgage, I'll go wherever I damn please.

So this way, SD19 is responsible for vacuuming the basement every weekend, HER new room, the area where the dogs run to the dog door which gets filthy. }:) }:) }:) }:) }:) Her daybed is right under the stained ceiling tiles where SD19 overflowed the powder room toilet on the main floor two years ago. Let her sit there and look up at THAT SHIT. This is almost a downgrade for her because it's so dirty and dusty from being the main dog track to the backyard, but at least I have her away from me. And the HHog will be further away, too.

"Out of sight, out of mind." THANK YOU THANK YOU, twoviewpoints for your idea!!!!

Even better, SD19 is dog sitting for some friends Memorial Day weekend through the following week, so she might not be around. DH also said her summer class is the 6-week one, so she won't be home ALL of August. Just a short time from mid-August until Fall semester starts, maybe 10 days or so. Time to go lock out the LR TV during the day. Get cho ass in the basement. Same goes for SD13. You can go to your "sister's apartment!"

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I have been doing the happy dance all afternoon!!! I can breathe some now, after months of stress and gourmet cupcakes and Xanax!

~ Moon

Rags's picture

The big dogs ought to enjoy playing with the round little ball of an HH on their way in and out of the dog door. }:)

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

If I'm lucky, one of them will take it out to pasture...... }:) DH actually wanted to introduce the dogs to HHog. I said NO WAY, because the male will probably snap at it. Better to be safe than sorry, even though I wish it weren't here.

simifan's picture

While I have to say that in no way does it seem acceptable to me, I am glad you re pleased with it and wish you the best of luck.

furkidsforme's picture

Oh come on, we ALL (her DH included) knew she would fold and allow the HH. That's why he did it. He knew she would never put her foot down. Apparently the SD will, or else her DH would not have made this choice.

From his standpoint, the choice makes sense.
Option #1- Let SD have HH, and DW will be PISSED but will relent.
Option #2- Deny SD HH, and SD will rain holy hell down upon my head for years to come.

Of course he chose Option 1.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Oh, but I have already started THAT. At breakneck speed over the past two months. Almost have 2 digits in front of that comma, GF. }:)

JustAgirl42's picture

There were people on her other blog that didn't understand her letting him get away with it.

Hopefully this will be a good solution

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

My problems are:

Noise and Stink.

The basement solves that and SD19 will only be home for 5 weeks instead of 100 days.

DH was sarcastic when he said I couldn't go into the basement anymore during thunderstorms. I knew he was poking at me, and I told him I would do whatever I want in my own damn house. LOL

Please people, don't steal my moment. No stink upstairs, no noise, no laying on my LR couch because you have your OWN in the basement....and if SD19 still decides she wants to be a bitch, she can GTFO.

Yes, there is still that option in my world, but I am celebrating a victory in my home where I have had nothing for MONTHS. Get the skids in the basement and stay the fuck down there so I can unwind at the end of the day. I wasn't asking for much in the first place, now was I?

I told DH I didn't even want to KNOW that the HHog was here. I made it clear that he and SD19 have fucked this situation up ENTIRELY by themselves and that I wasn't taking anymore. I just yelled at DH because he thinks SDog needs a break from his cone of shame since he had surgery on Friday. DH thinks he can go without it overnight. Then SDog starts licking himself immediately and I hate hearing that shit while I'm trying to sleep. I just told DH that I would throw the fucking SDog into SD13's room in two minutes if he didn't put the cone on him. I added "How much smaller of a corner do you want to push me into in my own home? I have nowhere left to be comfortable so KNOCK it off!!" He STFU.

SDog already pissed in my DR twice today because he was allowed to go without his belly band on, because of his stitches from a bladder stone being removed. DH said SD13 could watch him!!! We were out picking up the car and left SD13 at home. I made SD13 clean the first round of piss, and DH cleaned the second. Then I put the diaper back on SDog myself. I made sure the dog was locked and loaded, and DH tried to blame it on one of the other dogs for the pee. Miracle that NO MORE PEE was found in the dining room after SDog had his diaper back on.

So even though I have the victory with the basement, it has been another stressful day. So let me enjoy what makes me happy. I am going to enjoy my moment.

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I also wanted to add that SD19 is always hot in her room, yet she keeps the curtains OPEN and the blinds UP. I have told her umpteen times to close that shit down. There were times I would come home on a 90degree day and she would have her windows OPEN and her door to the hallway OPEN, thinking it would give her a breeze. Then the entire upstairs would be STEAMING. I went off on DH for that last summer and told him how asinine it was and for SD19 to stay in the basement when its that hot.

SD19 is an enabled idiot, let's not forget that part.

It felt good to yell at DH about SDog a little while ago. I guess it's because I'm pissed that no one looks out for him AND we just dropped $1175 on him for two vet visits. It's getting me fired up. Remember people, I live in a house with three idiots. I'm doing my best.

~ Moon

JustAgirl42's picture

I have to apologize ahead of time, cause I know this isn't supposed to be funny, but every time you talk about SDog I can't help but laugh. That poor thing, all his problems are probably stress-related! Biggrin I just picture this pitiful little thing sitting there in his diaper with his cone on, looking up at people like, 'What about me?'.

I think you're doing the best you can right now, don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. Smile

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Don't you dare apologize. I laugh at him, too, and he is more pathetic than ever. I gave DH hell yesterday because SDog looks like a rasta-dog with his fur all grown out, cone on and belly band on. SD13 can't even figure out how to put the cone on. Maybe I'll put one on her, too! Blum 3 We have an extra one, larger size.

Oh and when he drinks water from the bowl, the cone dips down and then he has water running down to his neck.

He is a HOT MESS. I should replace my thumbnail with a pic of him for awhile. Ew.

JustAgirl42's picture

Ahhhahaha! Rasta dog. Hot mess is a good description. You're an angel for making sure he's taken care of when there's already so much else to deal with. A pic of him for your avatar would be hilarious!

What kind of dog is he, and how old is he?

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

A 10yo Bichon with no teeth, in desperate need of grooming. The groomer is only open on weekdays and DH never fits it into his schedule.

But hey! Mini-wife will be home soon!

JustAgirl42's picture

No teeth either?? Oh man, I can't take it anymore, but it sure feels good to laugh!!

Thank you!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I paid $800 this time last year to have him checked and get his teeth cleaned. Little did I know he would need a dozen teeth pulled. He still has his back teeth, but he sticks his tongue out all of the time because there are no more little teeth in the front to keep it in his mouth!

My life is a 3-Ring Circus!!!! LMAO

JustAgirl42's picture

It sounds as though your step-daughter took really good care of him. Sad

I wonder if she ever brushed his teeth in the ten years she's had him :?

IslandGal's picture

Good on you Moon!! You might not completely have won the battle - but you've found a way to compromise and save your sanity - and in step life, that counts.. a lot!!
Am real happy for you!

Rags's picture


Sadly I agree with others who have pointed out that it was probably a foregone conclusion that you would cave in on this issue.

If you won't force it to the rightful conclusion which is no prickly rodent in your home and zero tolerance of lippy Skid behavior in your home then the basement is probably the only other though obviously not the righteous conclusion to this round of SD-19 manipulation and displacement of you within your marriage.

I suggest that immediately you inform DH and SD-13 that StepDog goes to the pound immediately the next time it pees in your home our you have to do anything for it. Then do it. Drop it off at the pound. No guilt, no regrets, this is on DH and the younger Skid. As for SD-19. No HH on your property. If HH shows up it goes to the pound, you call the locksmith to rekey the locks and DH and his spawn are out. Even if the HH is effectively barred from your home if SD-19 lips off at all, even once, DH and his spawn are out and the locksmith is contacted.

These are not separate issues, this is a single issue and the issue is that you are allowing yourself to be marginalized in your marriage and your home by DH and his daughters. Though they are the perpetrators, you are the enabler in this and tolerate it. So, you have a decision to make, put your foot down and solve the issue or tolerate it in a way that allows them to do what they want while you minimize the impact of their behaviors on your life while tolerating some level of constant drama and irritation. The best indicator of future behavior and performance is past behavior and performance. DH knew that if he continued to fight with you regarding SD-19 and HH issue and continues to fight with you about StepDog that you will cave. That is the sequence of events that you both follow. You protest, he whines, you fight, he whines, you get pissed off, he does nothing, you get upset, he does nothing, you give in, he gets a reprieve until the next time. So what if he moved the bed to the basement? That got you to leave him alone for a brief time. That is his reprieve. The cycle will begin again today, tomorrow, or the next day. It seemingly always does.

I mean no offense by this, it is just an observation of the historic sequence of events that regularly seems to transpire in the Moon/DH/SD-19/SD-13/HH/StepDog dynamic.

Take care of yourself.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Thanks, Rags. I hear you loud and clear. The only other choice I have is to start yelling at my husband ALL of the fucking time. He thinks I nag him now as it is. I have withdrawn so much from offering my two cents worth with the SDs because I don't care about them anymore. I have to admit, the animals tug at my heartstrings, and I don't like the idea of leaving my home. Yes, I have already thought about SDog and "Strike 3." If the dog continues to cost the household money and no one cares for it or gives it attention, then why have it around? Maybe crazy Gma can take him back to Ohio with her.....She always said she was surprised we kept him when the SDs moved in. Then again, she doesn't know me very well. I had 3 dogs when the SDs moved in, SDog was #4 and then we got #5.

Thanks for your support. I bitch and complain very little because it is exhausting. I sure bitched last night about my dirty house where I don't have any peace without SDog F-ing up every room.

Time to bring out the big guns and lose my filter, huh? God give me strength!

~ Moon

Rags's picture

Just take care of yourself. Your welbeing is the concern of the STalker community in all of this. For sure your welbeing is my only concern in all of this.

Ninji's picture

Personally, I would be careful calling it SD19's apartment. Is there a chance she moves back home to her "Apartment" after college?

misSTEP's picture


BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Oh, it won't be comfy. Dogs will be running through, barking....and the stairs make a lot of noise. The pups are all going down there now, probably trying to sniff out the hedgehog.....I haven't seen SD19 yet, even in my own home. Passing like two ships in the night.....Good for me.

~ Moon