Dad makes excuses for his child and I am the bad guy
Hello! So I have lived with my boyfriend and his son since November of 2017. His mother threw him out of his house because he was always fighting with his stepdad. That was a horrible situation, and I feel bad for him but he is in our house now and I feel that there needs to be certain expectations. All I want from him is to pick up after himself (put his clothes in his room, throw out his garbage, put paperwork in his room, take care of his recycling, pick up his dirty clothes in the bathroom, put his dishes in the dishwasher). He doesn’t even have “regular” chores to help out around the house. I feel like I have to beg my boyfriend to get him to help out. The response I get from him is “he is working full time, and he is going to be going to school.” Am I being unreasonable wanting him to pick up after himself? Last night I made a pile of his stuff to put away on the kitchen table and my boyfriend flipped out and told me I was being an as*&$#@. I feel like he makes excuses for him. My boyfriend says “he is suicidal because of the life he has lived,” however he expects me to set him up with a counselor etc. My boyfriend also tells me that his son “lost his respect” for me because I give his father a hard time about stuff (mostly about stuff that his son is not doing). My boyfriend said that if I keep pushing his son that it is just going to push my boyfriend away. My mother would have thrown my stuff out in the yard if I left it all over the house!! I am dealing with two people in a household with mental health issues and significant trauma and I deal with my own issues, but why should I not have certain expectations to maintain a cleanly house???