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creepy or not?

Calypso1977's picture

when my fiance's brother takes his 11 year old daughter out to dinner he calls it "date night". i find this slightly creepy and certainly good mini-wife making fodder.

what do you all think?

hereiam's picture

It's very common. Date can just mean social outing, it doesn't necessarily mean romantic.

classyNJ's picture

Is there more to this? Myself as well as BM say "date night" when we get one of the boys to ourselves and go to dinner, football game, etc. They get a kick out of it.

Drac0's picture

Lots of information missing:

Do they hold hands?
Does she look adoringly into his eyes?
Does she lean into him?
Does she force him to put his arms around her?
Is she constantly sneaking in a kiss here and a hug there?
Does she routinely say "I love you Daddy?"
Does she want to sit on his lap all the time?
Does she constantly want his attention for one thing or another?
Does she go bat-shit crazy if he leaves her peripheral vision?
Does she have no other friends but Daddy?
Is she constantly doing little things for him?

If the answers to the above are yes, then it is definetly creepy....

mommy0104's picture

When I take my boys out to lunch or dinner, I call it a lunch or dinner date..so I guess it depends on other circumstances. Because in my case, it's not really creepy lol

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Unless it's the things Drac0 posted, NOT creepy. As the youngest of 5 siblings with a working Dad and a stay-at-home Mom, my Dad made a point to do individual activities with each of us. Now that Dad is widowed, we all take great pleasure in taking Dad on 'dates'.

Calypso1977's picture

i did many activities one on one with my dad growing up, and he used to come to my college every wednesday for lunch. i never called it dates nor did he.

just seems weird...to me, but i guess most of you think its ok.

hangingbyathread6's picture

I just blogged about my "date night" with my skid. I don't find it creepy at all. It was a special occasion, with special plans, with a specific individual. That's a date. A date doesn't mean romantic automatically. I have date nights with all my kids, boys and girls. My daughters have date night with their biofather and their stepdad. I have dates with my father. I have dates with my mother. When a good girlfriend and I make plans to get together we call it a date.

I think everyone makes such a big deal out of innocent things sometimes. I had a date night with my stepson. We had a blast, and I am looking forward to the next time we can have a date. Because one on one time with the kids is rare and nice to have. I have a date tomorrow with my mom for dinner and drinks, and a date with my bio son 8 on Wednesday for dinner.

I don't get the creepy thing.

Disneyfan's picture

I have to be honest. When I read your blog, I did think creepy. However, I do not get that vide when it's bio parent and bio child.
I think the fact that your SS is a teen really adds to the creep factor for me.

rainbow bright83's picture

i call it outings not dates. I dont find it creepy when other people call it a date, I just reserve that word for when DH and I go out.

jumanji's picture

>definition of 'date' when not used for a calendar theme;
>a SOCIAL OR romantic appointment or engagement.

Which means not necessarily a romantic situation.

>I think I is wrong

I think you is, too.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

definition of 'date' when not used for a calendar theme;
a SOCIAL or romantic appointment or engagement.

Key word is social. In our family, it is perfectly acceptable to have a SOCIAL appointment or engagement with another family member. Same goes for friends.

hangingbyathread6's picture

Right on. I noticed the SOCIAL part of the definition also.

I'm with you aniki

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Last month, my sister had a theatre date with our SIL while my brother and I went on a wine tasting date. My former stepson and I used to have stepmom/son dates all the time. We went to movies, went fishing, played lazer tag... he was the envy of all his friends. We had such a good relationship, that we are still in contact even though I divorced his father 15 years ago. SS is now 34, married, and has an adorable 4 yo boy who calls me 'gamma 'niki'.

hangingbyathread6's picture

LOVE THIS ^^^

That is awesome! Good for you!!

And I enjoy my dates with my kids and my stepson. I know I still fondly remember the dates I had with my own father and I'm happy to think my kids/skids will have those same kind of memories.

Gamma Niki....that's too cute!!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Not as cute as his little boy!! Biggrin

When we were in grade school, Mom let us come home (one kid at a time) for Mom and Kid lunch dates. She would cut sandwiches in different shapes or put pudding in a small wine glass... little things to make it special. Dad also had Dad and Kid dates, taking us to sporting events or fishing, etc. Dad is why I became a big fan of baseball and football at an early age. With 5 bios and several foster children, my parents knew that one-on-one time with each kid was important.

Dizzy's picture

Our girls have Daddy Date night, in which the girls go out to dinner with their dads. I am extra sensitive about MWS, since my SD had some MW behaviors, and I have questioned my choice (yep, I'm the one who came up with it) to use the word 'date' when we started this. Luckily, my DH is super fantastic about not indulging MW behaviors, and addresses any new issues, so we will keep it as is.

So, I don't find it creepy, unless it's like Drac0's list. Lol. But really, my sister and I have 'Sister Date', I often schedule 'Phone Dates' with long distance friends, and, of course, I go on 'Friend Dates'. Totally not creepy.

Rags's picture

Nope, not an issue for me.

The closest thing to this that I have ever dealt with was during my first marriage (4mos into the 2.5 year marriage) when I was at the end of my catalog/underwear model days my XMIL and XW drafted me to be my XSIL's Senior Prom date. She had no date and they wanted her to enjoy her prom. I was 24 and XSIL was 18. It was creepy but I did it.

There was nothing inappropriate going on. It was just odd. :?

When SS was a toddler he and I would do things together but we never used the term "date". Interestingly when he and I were out while my bride/his mom was studying the single women and single moms came swarming like moths to a flame.

There is nothing like a cute toddler and a man out without mom to get attention. I could have made a ton of money leasing the kid out for an hour at a time at the park to young guys cruising for ladies. Wink }:)

Just kidding of course. I think a puppy would work nearly as well.

jumanji's picture

I used to take each of mine on dates. We still go (they're in their early 20s). When they were younger, a lot of it was about how to behave in social settings, how to treat/be treated as a lady.