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called me a *itch

pullmyhairout's picture

This is my first time writing on something like this!
Had a huge fight with both SD-17years, about chores. They have very little to do around the house and recently we have been having a hard time with them. So both DH and I are pulling the tough love attitude. All they have to do is empty the dishwasher. Each does 1/2. Not a lot right?
Well the rule is if it doesn't get done then you don't get the car or rides anywhere.
This morning SD #1 tells me she is not doing it b/c she will be late for school even though I had reminded her 40 min before she had to leave. So I said that is fine but you better hurry to catch the bus then. Well needless to say lots of yelling started and I woke up their Dad to help deal with the situation. As i am coming down the steps SD #2 says "You are just a bitch". Then I did what no Step should do but... i slapped her. That is what I would do to any of my bio kids. No way are you going to disrespect me like that.
I felt horrible until I talked to some friends who have teenage girls and they have done exactly the same thing when their girls have spoken to them in such a rude manner.
I just don't get it. It is such a simple thing just do your chores! Everyone has responsibilities around the house, it is being part of a family.
we have a hard time getting them to do anything, put dishes away, put school bags away, put boots away etc. When they lived with their BM (who they talk to occasionally but will go months without another whole story) it was a pig pen but our house is not like that and it's my house right? if I want it kept clean then they need to do their part of that!
I am to the point now that I am counting down until they leave for college and I hope they pick one far away.
I love them but I am done with the disrespect and total disregard for all i do for them and in our house!

Timetogiveup's picture

I got slap and I saw my friends get slapped for less than that growing up. Personally, I think the world would be a much better place if more of these little brats got slapped once in a while. Of course, I don't mean slapped around to the point be needing medical treatment....I mean just a smack across their fresh mouths. I'm begining to sound like my mom.

You did nothing wrong.

She was out of line.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I wish one of my SDs would call me a bitch and then call social services. I'd make a definate case for them between the time she called and the time they got here. I'd royally beat that child's ass for sure.

I got slapped by my mom until I left home. And to this day if I spoke disrespectfully to her in her home, she would have one saved up for me.

Timetogiveup's picture

BORDERLINE ABUSIVE for what you did????

We laugh about what our mom's got away with.......there aren't enough prisons to contain the moms from my childhood era.

This warped sense of what abusive is needs to go.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

What really bothers me (along with what you said) is don't you think for a second that they (the stepbrats) don't know this! My bios know I will beat the living daylights out of them for this manner of disrespect towards ANY adult. Once they gave a little presentation in school about abuse. Not long after that, my then elementary aged son told me if I spanked him he would call social services and report me.

I told him to go ahead. In fact, I advised him that he might want to call them first AND get all packed up, because I was going to blister his ass and he was going to get acquainted with the joys of the foster care system, where he would possibly learn what REAL abuse is, as opposed to discipline.

reeny511's picture

One time my mom slapped me so hard for talking smack that my glasses flew across the room. Of course it was the 80's and I had those big plastic things and the frame broke. Well - she wouldn't fix them (we were too broke) so I went around with tape on them for about a month! I learned my lesson REAL WELL. I can laugh about it now! ha ha aha ahahahahahah

ThatGirl's picture

I would sooooooo love to haul off and slap one of the skids when they act that way, but an entire shit storm would break loose! You can bet your bet that my SD17 would go straight to her mother, school counselor, and CPS with stories of how I had beat her up. She would pull the whole drama queen thing and cry about it to her dad and her siblings; she play the whole abused child scene and flinch every time I raised my hand and cower whenever I entered a room.

Noturbabysmama's picture

OMG, I had to look to see if it was me who posted that. I haven't laid a hand on either 16 yr old SD but the mouths on them are more than one can stand. What I TOTALLY identified with was the description of how little they are expected to do and WHY they aren't able to do even that. I have asked their Dad to speak with them but he hates confrontation so he softsoaps it. "It would be nice if you could..." Nothing changes. I'd like to divide household chores and let them earn the privileges (like driving the car) they enjoy. He won't go along with it. It is NOT too much to expect them to pick up their own messes and also contribute to the household responsibilities. They actually said they weren't interested in helping mow the lawn if we were only going to pay them $4 an hour. So I did it for FREE! While they laid in their beds doing Facebook. They are here 50% of the time and the only chore they do is to swap out washing the pizza pans once a week. THAT'S IT! And they b*tch about having to do it. One chore 2 times a month!

pullmyhairout's picture

This made my day! Thanks for the support! I can't wait til they get home from school!
DH is very supportive and told them in no way are they allowed to speak to me like that. I think when they were younger we spoiled them as we only had them on the weekends (we lived out of town) then about 7 years ago we moved to the same city and had them 60% of the time. Then 4 years ago they came to live 100% of the time. We were so worried that they would go back to the BM that we were really lazy with them.
But when our 5 year old son started telling them that if they didn't put the school bags away mom (me) would throw them in the front ysrd I thought it was time to fix the mistake. Hard to give kids that old new rules but we were not doing them any favours.

frustratedwoman's picture

When my SD was younger, and used to be satans spawn, since I felt like I couldn't slap her since shes not mine I used to keep a water bottle handy and instead spritzed her face (like one would do to train a cat to keep of countertops). It actually was successful. Now that she's a tween, when she starts acting like her mother, I simply remove her furniture from her room and toss a sleeping bag in there and let her think about how terrible things could be for her and that she should appreciate the people in her life who care enough to try to correct her and train her for whats to come in her future. At her mothers house, where she is full time except for summers, there are No rules. Her mother even lets her talk back to her and her mother purposely picks fights w her so she can argue w/ and 11yo.

ThatGirl's picture

^this is awesome!

I wonder what my SO would think if I started quirting his kids? We always have a squirter handy for the dog. Why not use it on the kids? Blum 3

pullmyhairout's picture

Okay here is an update.....
Last night after they got home and everyone had a little don't talk to me time SD#1 says "are we going to discuss this." HA
So we let them go on about it a bit and I love how they try to turn everything around to it being that we are bad parents, don't think about their needs, and how busy they are. They have a lot that they are doing and they think we are over reacting to the dishwasher thing.
I love it.
I told them I don't care if you like me or not. Rules are rules and they need to be followed. If you don't like how or what i have asked you to do I DON'T CARE.
This is a new attitude for me. I feel empowered! i usually overcompensate and want to be the one they love the most and do everything for them and then they treat me like *hit.
Then they wanted to know how come I could tell them they were turning into little bitches and they could not say the same to me. I just about lost it and I mean laughing my ass off.
You are in my house little girl! Who in the world told them A. life is fair and B. that parents and kids are equal.
Get a life children.