Hi .
I am 39 wife is 43 , been married for 10 years. Known my skids for 13 .
I have 3 skids , 2 men both out of the house and one 17 year old SD. I do also have 2 bio children 7 and 10. Both girls.
The whole situation is the 17 SD.
The real main problem is my wife. Basically in a nut shell , she is enabling my SD to pretty much do anything and treat anyone any way that she wants. There is no consideration of anyone else and the world should revolve around the SD.
Now I am aware of teens and the nature of them going through the forming of their identity and being very self centered at this time of life. I understand it to be the nature of the beast, for what they are going through.
I am going to go ahead and throw this BUT out there.
BUT. My wife is allowing the SD to skip school.Spend the night with her boy friend.Have the boy friend spend the night with her. The SD does not clean her room and has zero responsibilities around the house.The Sd got kicked from High School and is an adult alternative school.
The SD is constantly abusive and rude to her younger sisters.
I go through the whole dishes , glasses, cups , dirty pans issues.
Basically as most teens my SD is doing what I like to call " Stop , drop, and roll."
She is soooooo busy she has no time , to turn off the tv , unplug a phone charger, take her clothes out of the dryer, hit the laundry basket with her dirty clothes or even feed her fish which she kills off at least 3 every 2 months or so.
Through all this , anything I say to my wife is in her opinion , a matter of me just being completely negative to SD and her.
I am sure some of it is the way I come across. Though these problems did not develop over night, and many are not adressed just simply because my wife does not seem to have a problem with the behavior.
Yet the next day , and the next month things just keep getting worse. I don't know where in life this young lady is going to end up, and it better not be sucking off of me for years after she turns 18.
Fortunately and also unfortunately she has found a young man going into the navy that has big plans of them moving in together and playing house. Which also leads to an early marriage. The navy won't allow her to move in on base unless they are married.
But anyway that is them , and it is the future.
I just wanted to express my frustration with being the BIG BAD STEP DAD simply because I have a few expectations, rather than the perspective of " Here Honey go enjoy life and do nothing valuable with it!!" And the attitude that the rest of the family will suffer financially as well as emotionally for it.
Mostly venting here, I pretty much know my only answer is to wait it out ,or get a divorce.
I just do not understand why parents think they just need to be their kids best friend. I don't feel that way, and my bio daughters have a friend and a parent. I will not enable them to be entertained through life at others expense and without consideration of others.
Thanks.