Too Much Fun?
After my first wife passed away five years ago, I sold my house, retired from work, bought a RV and hit the road. My DD and SIL seemed happily married and I wanted to see the things around America that I had been too busy working to take the time to go see. I didn't feel like my presence back home was crucial, so for several years now, I have been communicating with my daughter mostly through phone texts and messaging. I do see them in person once in a while, but not often. We are usually separated by multiple states.
Along the way, I met a wonderful woman that also enjoyed the traveling RV life, and we got married a year and a half ago. Over the last year, I've noticed the kids becoming more and more distant, particularly on Facebook, where I post lots of pics of my new bride and I enjoying the new places we are exploring and being very happy. After the 'Christmas Cookies' fiasco, I sent my DD a message explaining my concerns about them ignoring me, and about how they were treating my wife. That was almost a month ago, and I've heard nothing from either DD or SIL since.
I've done some research, read some books, read quite a bit on StepTalk. My theory is that somehow, I have defamed and besmirched the memory of DD's mother by moving on with my life. I'm no spring chicken, but see no reason to spend the rest of my life sad and lonely and pining for someone who is dead and gone. Life can be an adventure. I don't have to sit around gloomy and waiting to die, but I think that is exactly what they expected. My first wife's mother passed away young, and her father never dated or remarried, just sat around for twenty years watching tv and waiting to die and go join her in heaven. I think that they think that's the way it is done, and I didn't do it right.
Well, I'm just a stranger,
Well, I'm just a stranger, but I'm happy for you.
I can see that your family might feel alienated with how you took off and move around -- most people do just sit around waiting to die late in life. But that doesn't mean that you're wrong for doing it.
If you ever get the chance to talk about it, I'd remind them that they have freedom to live their own lives because you are living yours. You can't give your kids a greater gift than their freedom, but it's a two-way street.
Now go be happy!
Now go be happy!
Freedom isn't easy but it is worth the effort. Sitting around waiting to die is easier but not for me. I hope someday they understand.
For now, I am busy being happy and free!
I applaud your appreciation
I applaud your appreciation of life and the effort you are investing to live yours to the fullest.
Your daughter's actions are sad. Don't let them impact your passion for your own life.
On a Rags' family note... my GrandFather passed when he was in his late 60s. Slightly less than a year after he died my GrandMother remarried. She had been engaged when she met my grandfather 40 + years earlier and broke that engagement to marry my grandfather. On her 70th birthday she married her first fiance. His wife had passed 4 years earlier. While my grandfather was the love of her life she and her second husband were married for 20 years and were happy together. She passed away a month to the day after her 90th birthday and their 20th anniversary. My mom and aunt remained close with their mother and her second husband.
My GF, GM and SGF were all raised together and even after my GF and GM married the extended families remained close.
There was some drama when my GM passed regarding where she would be burried. My mom and Aunt nipped that in the bud by having her burried next to my grandfather. They put a foot stone at her grave recognizing her as the wife of her second husband. He passed away 7mos after my GM passed. He was 96. My mom and aunt put a foot stone at his grave recognizing him as the husband of my GM.
That calmed his family's sensitivities. Their original demand was for my GM to be burried in the plot next to my SGF. His first wife was on his other side.
Wow, it sounds like your
Wow, it sounds like your family members handled things like adults, how refreshing!
Shame on them for wanting you
Shame on them for wanting you to live out the rest of your life lonely and sad, instead of finding companionship and enjoying your life. They should be happy for you, not mad at you.
I so agree! Life is to short
I so agree! Life is to short to waste it being angry.
Well, it's a very sad
Well, it's a very sad situation, but I think it's a problem caused by the distance between you and her. I don't mean emotional distance, but real distance. I think anyway you should live close to them. For example, we are getting along very good with my father and mother however after I lost my wife 5 years ago I wanted to leave everything behind and buy a villa on the French Riviera https://tranio.com/france/cote_d_azur/detached/ like this and estrange myself from social life. I wanted to keep contact just with my parents since I love them more than anything, but as the time pass by I felt that the distance between us made us feel strange from each other. Anyway, in the end I realized the most important thing in life to live close to your loved ones and show your love every day.
Luck you!
Life very seldom gives a second chance, that too, to a very few. Be grateful for what you have and keep smiling!
maybe you've shown lack of interest due to distance
you mention that you've only communicated via text and did not make the time to visit in person, even before you met your wife. No wonder they feel as they do. I'd feel the same if my dad did that, sorry.