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Guys... is this normal or am I out of line to be annoyed

stepmomsoon's picture

I posted this on the blog area, but I want to hear a man's opinion on this..

I have 2 ss's - 12 & 14. We do not have the greatest relationship. Lots of factors, main one being bio mom - she hates me and has done her best to ruin any chances of them liking me at all.

Anyways.. that's not my point here..

Last night, my ss's were excited about the MNF game. So I thought, here's a chance to make it special and show them I'm not the evil wench I am made out to be..

I made a nice little "tailgate" spread - meal, apps, treats, dips.. etc.

When the game came on, immediately ss12 begins to manipulate a later bedtime. (this kid is my least favorite person on earth and there are loads of reasons why) His dad already gave him an extra 30 minutes, but the entire first quarter all he did was bitch about it..

Then.. both kids participate in a fantasy football league.. so, they argued about every play, every player and points..

Because of all the arguing and yelling.. they cranked up the TV volume until it was loud enough to wake the dead..

In addition to the TV being loud, and them arguing.. since their yelling and arguing caused them to miss parts of the game.. they would have to constantly rewind and replay parts of the game.. and argue and yell about them..

Then, as if that wasn't annoying enough.. ss12 decides to use the dog as a pillow.. which we have told him not to do more times than I can count.. this causes the dog to growl..

Then.. ss14 decides to go get his football.. which he then tosses up in the air repeatedly - sometimes missing it on the way down and you get a nice "THUD!"... which oh, by the way.. (I left this out of my blog) reminded ss12 that ss14 lost his football and that started a fight between them..

My husband.. was annoyed, but not to the point I was.. I really tried to sit there and enjoy "football night" with them.. I even brought my kindle down to "pinterest" myself through it, if they got on my nerves too much.. it was to no avail.. I could only stand an hour and a half with them before I was about to lose my mind.. I got up and went upstairs, turned on my fan to drown out their noise and read my book.

Side note - this is how they are with EVERYTHING! They ruin any experience - dinner, bedtimes, getting ready for school, movie night, game night, a trip to the mall: everything is polluted with their loudness, arguing, complaining or just their inability to see that they are just way over the top/to the extreme.

Am I nuts? Intolerant?

I understand they were excited, and they can be.. but all of this? Is it necessary and a "guy" thing that I am just not getting?

I'll admit that I need my recharge time - I am on the go from 5:45am till the moment my head hits the pillow most nights.. and at 9:30 at night all the stuff listed above was too much.. I seriously did not fall asleep until almost midnight because I was so stressed out by them..

This is every day of my life.. I avoid them because they are just so extreme and inconsiderate.

Willow2010's picture

To me...most of it sounds like normal boy stuff. It would also get on my last nerve!!

Sorry..no advice...just sympathy.

stepmomsoon's picture

Maybe it's normal in increments.. but the entire time? The entire time there has to be talking and other noises in addition to discussions about the game or plays...

stepmomsoon's picture

He gets on them when it gets to the point where it annoys him.. but he's a guy and all into the football experience.. so his tolerance level is higher because he's amped up, I guess..

I mean, I can take the chatter.. but not the yelling, arguing and crap.. yes, sure... they debate calls and that's ok too.. but the skids have to argue and fight about dumb shit.. like if ss12 says something about a player, ss14 always knows more and ss12 is wrong.. so they argue and fight until DH tells them to shut it.

DH doesn't get annoyed with sk14 tossing the football.. I do. Maybe it's because I think it's unnecessary indoors.. watch the damn game, not the football. Plus it's my damn living room - not a field.. I have shit he can break or a candle that could get knocked over..

cant win for losin's picture

I can relate in a round about way. My two bios are two years apart and up until about 6 months ago fought and argued constantly. It got really bad preteen years. It sucked the joy out of EVERYTHING! So stressful for me. I would plan something nice (something i KNEW they would both enjoy) argue argue argue. Pick pick pick. Bitch bitch bitch. Fight fight fight. Complain complain complain.
You get the idea. I hated it soo much i found myself doing less. Every so often i thought, "oh this would be so nice, blah blah" and plan it. Only to be reminded quickly why i stopped!
They are getting older now and its getting better. But now they are at the stages of they would rather not do things with me. So i just drag them along occassionally to family functions and call it good. Ha

Yosemite's picture

I would have to say normal guy stuff if they are avid football fans. My FDH, my Dad, BS13 and SS10 as well as any friends that happen to be over go crazy every Thursday night, all day Sunday and then again Monday night. Yelling, high fives, aguing with each other, the TV, the laptop and lots of horseplay,uggg!
I find football boring but sometimes I sit in the room with them for awhile to be sociable. Then when I've had enough I'll either put in headphones and read or go in another room. For at least part of the day Sunday, I'll usually leave and do something else completely.

stepmomsoon's picture

But what if it's at 9:30 at night? I mean, some of us have to get up in the morning and would prefer it toned down just a little when it's this late on a weeknight.. is that unreasonable?

just.his.wife's picture

Normal guy stuff that is being allowed to happen.

Guys will get noisy, doing ANYTHING if not brought into check.

My boys (bio, step and husband) get one warning: Me yelling "VOLUME!" if that warning is ignored I will 'suddenly' remember something freaking boring as hell to any male on the face of the earth that I have to tell them about RIGHT NOW to kill their enjoyment in whatever they are doing.

Literally the most boring topic you can think of: once it was a complete, one sided discussion, on how nail fungus can be transmitted in nail shops via the brushes in the fingernail polish. How it is transferred, the damage the fungus can do as well as how to treat and prevent it.

Another time it was a 20 minute discussion (that the sd's joined in on) of the joys of cramping and clots. You have NEVER seen males shut up and turn green so fast in your life.

For sports events, I demand inside voices. If they yell, TV goes OFF. Now, I do understand they are going to get irate with the referees or players over bad plays/calls. To allow them to blow off steam (without blowing out my ear drums) each male watching the game brings three pairs of rolled up socks to the couch with him. When a crappy play/call happens, they can lob the balled up socks at the TV screen to vent their ire.

Win/win/win: they get to react to the crappy play/call and I do not get a migraine AND the TV isn't broken by a remote or something else solid being thrown at it.

amber3902's picture

It's normal to be amped(sp?) up about a football game.

It's not acceptable to throw footballs in the house, abuse the dog, yell when people are trying to sleep, and argue and complain about every little thing.

Being a "guy watching football" is not an excuse to be rude, loud and obnoxious.