Guilt Depression and Sadness
My fiancé had two children prior to our relationship. My step-daughters bio dad was an abusive acoholic who raped my fiancé after she had a miscarriage and ended up impregnating her. A few months after she left him, and taking my daughter with thank god, she ended up running in to a guy she went to high school with and they seemed to hit it off although she said she thought he was a safe option. He ended up being super emotionally abusive and financially abusive and they were together for two years, she got pregnant with my second daughter three months after she started seeing him and was esientally forced in to staying to try and make it work. It didn't. Now I've been involved with my stepchildren since our youngest was eleven months. I have taken on a very close and personal relationship with both of my daughters and they call me daddy. Which I mean I am I literally am the homemaker in the house and I cook and clean and take care of them and did potty training and all the stuff. Except there's still a life before me. Before I was their dad, prior to me the second guy played a fatherly role in my oldest's life but then he kept neglecting her and abandoning her random places. It suck becausei can't look back at pictures of my oldest without seeing her calling him daddy or without seeing the role he was allowed to play. not to mention how it makes me feel as a partner to have her still have photos of her ex on everything as well as things with captions on how much she loves him from old posts. It's draining and I hate that I wasn't the one there for either of my girls when they were babies and I feel so isolated and alone and my partner keeps saying I can't be mad that she had a life before me but it doesn't make it any less hurtful.
I'm assuming the photos she
I'm assuming the photos she "keeps" are on social media? If so unless she's going to untag the ex or delete them there is not much you can do other than move on and stop allowing those posts to define you.
Welcome to the site!
It sounds like you have a good relationship with your step daughters - don't allow your insecurities about the past to wreck this, is my advice. Everyone has a past, we can't go being jealous of people in our partner's or step kids' pasts - it doesn't make sense. I think that this is your problem rather than theirs - if it is severe, get some counselling.
You are upset that the child
You are upset that the child's actual father was allowed to act as if he was her father?
IMO, you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt - these are not your daughters. You have no legal ties to them whatsoever, and if your wife wants to leave, she can, and she can take them away from you forever. I get that you care for them, but guard your heart, because it's very possible you will lose them either through your wife's actions, or through their own. There are lots of stories on here of people who raised their stepkids being cut off from them when they get older and reconnect with their biological parents.
I'd suggest some therapy, because your irrational feelings about this are going to destroy your relationship.
Other than the whole social
Other than the whole social media thing I have lived what you are living though I have never once felt anything but contempt for my son's SpermIdiot. I have been my son's (SS-27) dad since his mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo. Sure, there are pics of my wife, son and the DipShitiot together. My wife wanted to throw them away in the early years of our marriage. I asked her not to. Those experiences are part of what makes my amazing bride the incredible person that she is and the foundation that ultimately made me my son's father and made him mine.... rather than the SpermIdiot's. It would not be fair for my wife to dispose of part of her childhood past or to purge my son's bio paternal family from the lexicon of their lives prior to me.
I am not jealous in the least of that POS. I detest him for the scumbag that he is and for what he put my wife and son through. There is nothing about him, his waste of skin existence or the shallow and polluted gene pool he crawled from for me to be jealous of.
You are your daughters' father. The other two guys are merely their spermdonors. My son asked me to adopt him when he was 22. We made that happen. I also never denied him a relay with the SpermIdiot or the SpermClan. He knows them and he clearly understands who his real and true father is.
Dont let that these dirtbags exist interfere in your family and don't let that increasingly distant past take up space in your head. Be there for your bride and your daughters.