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Daughters Surname

TexasDad17's picture

My ex has signed my daughter up for softball and golf using my ex's husbands last name. Should I allow this? Is this healthy ofor my daughter? I do not feel it is necessary and do not have a clue on how to handle this. Need Help...!

stormabruin's picture

If your ex signed her up under a false name, contact the person in charge of sign-ups & have them correct it.

RainbowsAndDaisies's picture

I agree. Call the coach and get it straightened out. Its not healthy for kiddo. When ss was little and learning his last name and family relationships, BM told him every time that she saw him that he had her last name. He was so confused.

TexasDad17's picture

I am the father, my ex (daughters mother) is using her husbands last name for my daughter when she signs her up for these activities.

StickAFork's picture

So, you're the dad, and mom is remarried, and she signed the kid up with her remarried last name?

Interesting. How old is your daughter? Are you an involved parent? (Involved as in actually see her and parent her.)

TexasDad17's picture

She is 10. Yes I am an involved parent. I call her everynight, I go to parent teacher conferences, I have my visitation rights the whole nine yards.

Jsmom's picture

If the child has your last name, tell them to change it. If he doesn't not your right...

B22S22's picture

From a medical point of view....

She's signed up under a name she really doesn't have. If something would happen to her, all of her paper work says "Smith" when really her last name is "Jones"

Emergent Medical care is needed .... and the first thing hospitals do is look for old medical records for the patient (to review for previous history, medication allergies, etc). The hospital looks for "Junie B Smith" based on information from the school when it really is "Junie B Jones" and doesn't come up with anything. Junie has it clearly documented in her chart she is allergic to X medication.

See where I'm going with this?? Why in the world would anyone sign forms using a different last name for the child?

Rhyleighblue's picture

Our BM tried that stunt too. My DH is very involved in his kids academic life and went round and round with every school (high school, middle school and elementary school, respectively) about BM listing her live in BF (who is a convicted felon with a prison record) as an emergency contact, the "parent" to contact for the kds IEP's and one time as the kids BioFather!

DH has the CO that lists that he has Joint Custody. Also, she is not even married to her BF and has only known him for three years. The school laughed when they realized that the youngest couldn't possibly be BF kid because she already almost 9!

Yeah, you need your documents and you need to follow up RELENTLESSLY at every possible place that your Ex could be playing this game. Just keep hammering away at it. Eventually, she will get tired of being made to look like the liar that she is.

BTW... This isn't some harmless stunt. This is a form of Parental Alienation and it's really child abuse.

TexasDad17's picture

OK maybe I didn't type this correctly. My ex (daughters Mother) is using her husbands last name for my daughter instead of my daughts legal last name.

TexasDad17's picture

Nothing legal, like school, but with almost everything else. I have a couple of issues withit, 1) she is not adopted by her SD therefore she needs to user he givenname 2) if she gets hurt doing these sports and needs to use insurance, how will the insurance company reacte to an alias last name? Will they fight claim? Could they fight the claim?

stone1215's picture

thats simple . what is her last name ????? she should only go by what her name is . period ! your daughters name is her name . for either of them to attempt to change her name , use a different name , or hide from her name , they are hurting her , not helping her . i do not know the whole situation , but your daughter needs to be taught to believe that she is who she is , she is not what her name is . and above all she needs to stop being used as a pawn in a childish , petty , harmful game of mental abuse to her .