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Cant have my phone number

Rearview's picture

Bio mon is alcoholic,  At the beginning of my relationship with dh he said that "it sounded like I would have a problem with him being friends with his ex."  I said on 2nd date "at some point you need to nip it completely ". I never backed down from that stance.  Being cordial and polite ABSOLUTELY,  but calling texting,  cards,  etc, HTTN..Hell to the NO.  Well she had his phone number and called,  dogged me, etc etc. So we blocked her. I INSISTED!  Then she lvm,  I love you,  etc etc... So changed the phone number.  All this time dh and I are in couples counseling and hes in codependent counseling.   So she no longer has his phone number.  No more contact now for about 4 months.  Now the daughters phone has been  disconnected due to non payment  of  her bill. She texted us on our joint fb messenger acct. Said when she gets a new number she'll give it to her dad. But she's not texted him or called him yet.  Christmas is in 4 days. So is  she going to call dad with moms cell phone so now mom will have dads new number?  She's 22.  What's her game here?  Why is she not giving him her number?  Thoughts welcome. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

If her phone was shut off for non-payment, then she likely doesn't have the money for a new phone. I doubt it's a game so much as she doesn't have a new phone yet or her dad isn't important enough to be told what the new number is right away.

Rearview's picture

She hasn't got the new number  yet. I suspect shes fishing for money.  He always gives money for Christmas and birthdays. This year I encouraged him to give an actual gift so she would  learn to earn her own money.  Shes living rent free with bio mom alcoholic, no car payment,  and doesn't work as much as she could.   Hff er brother said she has gambling problem.   She emailed him. Said I live you dad. That's it. 

Rags's picture

Who cares why?

You can't give a crap about the why of their chosen behaviors with people like this.  All you can do is confront any behaviors that are inappropriate and unacceptable to you.

If she gives a crap, she will figure out how to get in touch with her dad.

He can snail mail her, etc... to let her know he is still there for her.  Snail mail is still a thing.  The phone thing is her's to figure out.

IMHO of course.