Asking for a friend ;)
Forums:
My husband has custody of his three biological children from a previous marriage. His ex and her new husband (3# in six years) harass the crap out of us. I will spare you the years and years of details on that, but trust me. IT'S BAD. (many court cases , DFCS being called on us, the police being called on us, harassment on facebook....)
My husband is not an American citizen. He has lived here 20 years as a permanent resident with a green card. Can we move back to his home country and take the kids with us to get away from this crazy #$!%^????
Honestly, it may be tough to
Honestly, it may be tough to get a court to agree to allow you to take kids to another country because it would obviously make it difficult for the BM to have reasonable visitation. But, it's not like it's impossible but I imagine it would be hard to find a court that would agree to it. Unless BM is deemed completely unfit in some way.
Why would a court have to
Why would a court have to agree that the custodial father be allowed to move back to his own country? BTW, his ex is bat shit crazy. She lost custody of these three kids when she tried to kill herself. She lost custody of kid #4 with husband #2. She is currently on husband #3 and pregnant with his kid. That marriage is not going well, either.
I read this and I get SO
I read this and I get SO BLOODY ANGRY that women like her pop babies out like there is now tomorrow despite being seriously unfit to be mothers, and yet I can't even conceive one. *SCREAM*
(Sorry I made this about me. I just get so angry and depressed. I'm really, really sorry to hear about all you've had to put up with over the years.)
I know what you mean! I
I know what you mean! I think EVERYONE should be licensed to have a child. I think bat crazy parenting is the main reason for all the troubles in the world. (Well there are other reasons like war-torn countries and religious ideologies, etc). But a parent should be someone revered in society... instead they themselves are monsters producing smaller monsters!
The court cannot stop the
The court cannot stop the father moving. They can stop him taking the kids with him. Courts tend to view that children should have both parents involved in their lives as the ideal. BM may have lost primary residency but her visitation schedule with the children shows that a court still thinks that she is ok to have regular unsupervised visits with her children. They are unlikely to agree to the children moving abroad if she objects to it. If you and your husband are serious, talk things through with your lawyer.
In most cases, relocation has
In most cases, relocation has to be justified, and reasonable distance. I'm not saying that it's impossible. But, those children are American citizens, and have a mother that (probably?) wants to see them/be part of their lives.
Good luck leaving the country with them.
Does the BM have any
Does the BM have any visitation? Is moving addressed in the custody order? Have you consulted with an attorney?
BM has first and third
BM has first and third weekends, some holidays, normal stuff. The only thing in the custody order is that either parent must let the other know two weeks in advance of any move and provide full address and phone number. We have not consulted an attorney yet but we do have him on retainer (BM is always starting something!).
Every jurisdiction is
Every jurisdiction is different but when BM tried to move, DH had his attorney file something to stop it. They then went to court and settled the matter.
I have no idea how moving out of the country works, though.
I wish we'd move, too. All of my skids are emancipated but I am sure there is still going to be crazy stuff happening when weddings and babies get tossed into the mix.
It depends if he has sole
It depends if he has sole legal custody and if BM or a judge agrees to it. With her having the visitation you describe it is unlikely that he will be able to persuade a judge to let him take the kids. I imagine BM would be also unlikely to agree to a move but it depends on what terms he presents to her.
You will also have to consider the legal requirements for you all to settle in his home country (which may not be automatic) and your husband would have to either get his US citizenship before he leaves or he would have to apply for a visa all over again if he ever wanted to move back to the USA after being abroad for more than a few months.
Moving countries would also not prevent BM calling the authorities local to where you go, calling your house or posting what she wanted on Facebook.....
You could move to a different state which might be marginally easier but unless visitation time has been taken away completely from BM or she agrees to it I still think you would be fighting an upward battle to get a judge to agree.
Best thing though would be to talk all your options through with your lawyer.
If you can both read up about parallel parenting and dealing with a high conflict ex you might be able to work out some ways to limit her involvement and reduce the stress that she adds to your lives.
Do you trust your husband
Do you trust your husband enough to try to adopt his kids? Is BM paying CS? If she needs money you might be able to bribe her into giving you her parental rights. But then DH would lose any claim to CS from her from now on, and you'd be on the hook. But then you could then move somewhere else in the USA and cut off contact completely. Talk to the lawyer about "reimbursing her for expenses" in exchange for parental rights.
It is something we have considered doing.
Unfortunately a foreign
Unfortunately a foreign parent will likely not be able to remove children from the country if the citizen parent does not agree unless approved by a court. Not impossible but not likely.
I would suggest that you engage counsel experienced in multinational child custody issues.
Good luck.