About to pull the plug
Forums:
Looking for some advice I met my wife 3yrs ago and married just over a year ago. She brought to the relationship a boy now 13 and girl now 7. I brought to the relationship a nice set of tools. I have no bio kids. At first bio dad had kids 4 nights every other week and grandparents would take them often. Now bio dad does not really have them that often (legal issues) and grandparents are sick. SS13 has began stealing and lying. I am in no way close to this kid and really have no interest in being his dad. I'm fed up with him his attitude and the way he treats his mom. What I'm asking is do I just cut my losses and walk away now? My wife wants me to talk to him and spend time with him. But I really just don't care to even be around him.
the thing is...stepparenting
the thing is...stepparenting is hard...no two ways about it, and although you are not the dad, you dont want to be the dad and you will never be the dad, there will be times when you have to be involved with your wife's children. it is clear that is her responsibility to educate them but there are two adults i nthe house, and they should be together on the decisions, for example the stealing..how bad is it? does she know about it? does she know that is bothering you a lot that her kid lies and steals? what are the steps that the adults will take to deal with that?
it is impossible to cruise for years ignoring them. you have to set your boundaries and you have a to have a good long talk with your wife. maybe counseling should help you and your relationship. you dont have to love the Skids but you do have to accept that they are around and they are not going anywhere and THEN, once you fully understand the situation and you and your partner are in some kind of even play field, then decide if you pull the plug or not. i feel that you need to put some work in and fully UNDERSTAND the situation and if that is not what you want, take your tools
then pull the plug.
Thank you to all that have
Thank you to all that have posted I have got to say that when I first wrote this I was for lack of better words just pissed and confused I didn't know exactly what to do. Exandcurrant you are correct if I didn't like him or hated him my wife should ask me to leave the kids are her life and I wouldnt expect anything less. I have spoken with my SS13 and told him his behavior is not appropriate and will not be tolerated in this house. I then made him put everything in his room into garbage bags except for a couple of socks underwear two shirts and a mattres blanket. Everything else is gone. Thanks again for the input.